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re: two minutes in school - help..long sry
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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 43554"><p>husband will NOT tell me anything at school. I fought SO hard for difficult child at school for so many years. husband doesn't go to any meetings. Never has.</p><p></p><p>husband will not dole out ANY consequences. And difficult child would never think of talking to him that way.</p><p></p><p>husband will NEVER come to my rescue. I have come to realize that. It's been a very long 13 years. prior to difficult child, we were great. he has slept on the couch or anyplace else EXCEPT our bed. God forbid he might touch me.</p><p></p><p>I want to detach, but I want my son back. Either I give up on him or I keep fighting. I am scared.</p><p></p><p>I always look forward to my days off. to spend with difficult child. But ALWAYS ends up in a fight. If I go away, (no friends, no family) I would feel so bad, what IF this were the week difficult child would want me?</p><p></p><p>How can I not feel it is difficult child's fault. husband and I were good until I got pregnant. Hard, pregnancy,and was ignored the entire time. And ever since. I hear husband tell difficult child he loves him ten times a day. He hasn't told me in atleast 10 YEARS. Let alone hug me or even sleep in the same bed.</p><p></p><p>Divorce...wouldn't think twice if I could afford it. I could afford an apartment alone. But, husband makes very little. What would happen to difficult child. Where would he live? My whole dream since I was little was to have a house with a backyard and a swing set. I have that. Although my dream was to be a stay at home mom. I can't even afford to be sick.</p><p></p><p>husband allows difficult child to disrespect me. easy child doesn't want to get involved. He is very close to difficult child. Takes him many places and I like that. A good role model, good places, good people. I asked easy child to talk to him about school. easy child said, "I don't know what to tell you, don't know what you want to hear." Can't he see how hurt I am?</p><p></p><p>Detatch. I just want my baby back. i want him to stop hurting me. i want him to realize how lucky he is to have the brains and IQ he has. I want him to use that and get a scholarship. Most everyone's difficult child's have such sky high IQ's. I do not understand if they are sooo very smart, can't they see how much they hurt us?</p><p></p><p>Damage his self esteem? He does that on his own. He knows what is expected, I tell him I love him. Make a point to do so. Even in the midst of a meltdown. Prior to Feb. this year I had to drive 100 miles round trip on the interstate at 65 mph. At night. What if a deer jumped out? What if there was an accident, and I didn't tell him I loved him?</p><p></p><p>I know husband is suppose to stand for Dear Husband. But when I write it, I say <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> H***. That is how I feel.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 43554"] husband will NOT tell me anything at school. I fought SO hard for difficult child at school for so many years. husband doesn't go to any meetings. Never has. husband will not dole out ANY consequences. And difficult child would never think of talking to him that way. husband will NEVER come to my rescue. I have come to realize that. It's been a very long 13 years. prior to difficult child, we were great. he has slept on the couch or anyplace else EXCEPT our bed. God forbid he might touch me. I want to detach, but I want my son back. Either I give up on him or I keep fighting. I am scared. I always look forward to my days off. to spend with difficult child. But ALWAYS ends up in a fight. If I go away, (no friends, no family) I would feel so bad, what IF this were the week difficult child would want me? How can I not feel it is difficult child's fault. husband and I were good until I got pregnant. Hard, pregnancy,and was ignored the entire time. And ever since. I hear husband tell difficult child he loves him ten times a day. He hasn't told me in atleast 10 YEARS. Let alone hug me or even sleep in the same bed. Divorce...wouldn't think twice if I could afford it. I could afford an apartment alone. But, husband makes very little. What would happen to difficult child. Where would he live? My whole dream since I was little was to have a house with a backyard and a swing set. I have that. Although my dream was to be a stay at home mom. I can't even afford to be sick. husband allows difficult child to disrespect me. easy child doesn't want to get involved. He is very close to difficult child. Takes him many places and I like that. A good role model, good places, good people. I asked easy child to talk to him about school. easy child said, "I don't know what to tell you, don't know what you want to hear." Can't he see how hurt I am? Detatch. I just want my baby back. i want him to stop hurting me. i want him to realize how lucky he is to have the brains and IQ he has. I want him to use that and get a scholarship. Most everyone's difficult child's have such sky high IQ's. I do not understand if they are sooo very smart, can't they see how much they hurt us? Damage his self esteem? He does that on his own. He knows what is expected, I tell him I love him. Make a point to do so. Even in the midst of a meltdown. Prior to Feb. this year I had to drive 100 miles round trip on the interstate at 65 mph. At night. What if a deer jumped out? What if there was an accident, and I didn't tell him I loved him? I know husband is suppose to stand for Dear Husband. But when I write it, I say :censored: H***. That is how I feel. [/QUOTE]
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