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re: two minutes in school - help..long sry
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 43624" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>Linda is right, you need to step back. You are having a good old fashioned pity party. We ALL do it sometimes, but it accomplishes nothing. It is living in the problem. You need to try and live in the solution.</p><p></p><p>Many things may have happened to give your son that 360' turn around. He is right on the brink of puberty. Many kids try to disassociate with their same-sex parent around this time. Let it happen, it is a rite of childhood. Let him bond with dad. I know he says hurtful things to you. He does it to get a reaction. When the reactions stop, so will the hurtful things. You NEED to detatch. Yo keep saying you want your baby back, but the hard facts are, he is NOT a baby. </p><p></p><p>difficult child does not talk to husband in an unacceptable way? THAT is why husband does not dole out consequences. School rules need to be dealt with in school. He should not be punished at home for anything that took place in school. </p><p></p><p>You said you want him to see how smart he is, and how high his IQ is. You said if his IQ is so high, how can he not see how he is hurting you. Think about that. What is hurting you? Aside from snide remarks. Does it hurt you that he cannot act like a easy child? You must remember, he is NOT a easy child, and you cannot expect him to be one. Do not be disappointed in him for being something he is not. </p><p></p><p>I stand by my statement, that you should never EVER let difficult child hear that your problems with husband are his fault. They are NOT. My problems with my DEX started when my difficult child were born too. But I do not blame her. If you need to leave husband, leave him. If you think you can never be on the same page as him. There are lawyers that do pro-bono, that is how I got my divorce. If you decide to leave difficult child with husband, then you need to back away and let him do it HIS WAY. This holds true whether you leave husband or not. If you choose to let husband run the show (and I think you should), you have GOT to detatch. You are not going to change husband. Let it go, and see what happens.</p><p></p><p>May God comfort you during these trying times.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 43624, member: 3647"] Linda is right, you need to step back. You are having a good old fashioned pity party. We ALL do it sometimes, but it accomplishes nothing. It is living in the problem. You need to try and live in the solution. Many things may have happened to give your son that 360' turn around. He is right on the brink of puberty. Many kids try to disassociate with their same-sex parent around this time. Let it happen, it is a rite of childhood. Let him bond with dad. I know he says hurtful things to you. He does it to get a reaction. When the reactions stop, so will the hurtful things. You NEED to detatch. Yo keep saying you want your baby back, but the hard facts are, he is NOT a baby. difficult child does not talk to husband in an unacceptable way? THAT is why husband does not dole out consequences. School rules need to be dealt with in school. He should not be punished at home for anything that took place in school. You said you want him to see how smart he is, and how high his IQ is. You said if his IQ is so high, how can he not see how he is hurting you. Think about that. What is hurting you? Aside from snide remarks. Does it hurt you that he cannot act like a easy child? You must remember, he is NOT a easy child, and you cannot expect him to be one. Do not be disappointed in him for being something he is not. I stand by my statement, that you should never EVER let difficult child hear that your problems with husband are his fault. They are NOT. My problems with my DEX started when my difficult child were born too. But I do not blame her. If you need to leave husband, leave him. If you think you can never be on the same page as him. There are lawyers that do pro-bono, that is how I got my divorce. If you decide to leave difficult child with husband, then you need to back away and let him do it HIS WAY. This holds true whether you leave husband or not. If you choose to let husband run the show (and I think you should), you have GOT to detatch. You are not going to change husband. Let it go, and see what happens. May God comfort you during these trying times. [/QUOTE]
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