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re: two minutes in school - help..long sry
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<blockquote data-quote="CCRidr2" data-source="post: 43686" data-attributes="member: 3714"><p>KJS,</p><p></p><p>Because you and husband do not talk and he hasn't been to the school meetings and I assume the psychiatrists or tdocs with you my question is how is he supposed to support you when he is so detached from the situation? He can't know how you are feeling and he can't discipline difficult child if he doesn't know what behaviors he is exhibiting. </p><p></p><p>Letting him take the reins for awhile will allow him to see these things and how often they occur. You really should let husband see it. Mouthing off to a teacher by our difficult child used to make my husband laugh...not anymore. I began taking breaks, work doesn't count, and let husband handle difficult child. I will tell you that I HATED giving up that control because husband didn't handle difficult child like I do but I HAD to otherwise I would have been back on the AD's faster than you could blink. I still have moments, or days, where I don't like how husband handled something but I just have to remind myself that if I don't want to take the reins back 100%, which I don't (giving them up saved my sanity), I just have to let him deal the way he deals. </p><p></p><p>If I say something about how he's handling some issue he turns to me and says "Do you want to handle it or did you ask me to?" Since husband finally "got it" about how our difficult child was acting I haven't said that once. When I leave difficult child with husband or ask husband to handle an issue I divorce myself from the situation, go for a walk, take a shower, whatever works best to get me away so that I don't try to step in. I know myself very well and if I don't get out I know I will put my two sense worth in. "You should have...":smile:</p><p></p><p>I really know what you mean when you say you want your baby back. I did too! I think it may be your situation and a news story last night about what could only be 2-11 yo difficult child's trashing a local business that has made me realize I can't have him back and the road ahead isn't getting any smoother. We all just have to adjust when the difficult child-ness changes as they get older....I try to think back to what he was like before all this and I realized, just last night, that he was ALWAYS like this! We just never realized it, thought it was terrible two's and "boys will be boys" kind of stuff. I know the step back away from your son will hurt, it did me, but it was worth every grain of sanity I regained!</p><p></p><p>Gentle Hugs and Prayers are being sent!</p><p></p><p>Cyndi</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CCRidr2, post: 43686, member: 3714"] KJS, Because you and husband do not talk and he hasn't been to the school meetings and I assume the psychiatrists or tdocs with you my question is how is he supposed to support you when he is so detached from the situation? He can't know how you are feeling and he can't discipline difficult child if he doesn't know what behaviors he is exhibiting. Letting him take the reins for awhile will allow him to see these things and how often they occur. You really should let husband see it. Mouthing off to a teacher by our difficult child used to make my husband laugh...not anymore. I began taking breaks, work doesn't count, and let husband handle difficult child. I will tell you that I HATED giving up that control because husband didn't handle difficult child like I do but I HAD to otherwise I would have been back on the AD's faster than you could blink. I still have moments, or days, where I don't like how husband handled something but I just have to remind myself that if I don't want to take the reins back 100%, which I don't (giving them up saved my sanity), I just have to let him deal the way he deals. If I say something about how he's handling some issue he turns to me and says "Do you want to handle it or did you ask me to?" Since husband finally "got it" about how our difficult child was acting I haven't said that once. When I leave difficult child with husband or ask husband to handle an issue I divorce myself from the situation, go for a walk, take a shower, whatever works best to get me away so that I don't try to step in. I know myself very well and if I don't get out I know I will put my two sense worth in. "You should have..."[img]:smile:[/img] I really know what you mean when you say you want your baby back. I did too! I think it may be your situation and a news story last night about what could only be 2-11 yo difficult child's trashing a local business that has made me realize I can't have him back and the road ahead isn't getting any smoother. We all just have to adjust when the difficult child-ness changes as they get older....I try to think back to what he was like before all this and I realized, just last night, that he was ALWAYS like this! We just never realized it, thought it was terrible two's and "boys will be boys" kind of stuff. I know the step back away from your son will hurt, it did me, but it was worth every grain of sanity I regained! Gentle Hugs and Prayers are being sent! Cyndi [/QUOTE]
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