REAL Therapy - Relieve Stress

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by nvts, Oct 13, 2008.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity


    1.
    At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With
    Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer
    At Passing Cars.

    See If They Slow Down.


    2.
    Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't DisguiseYour Voice. !

    3.
    Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They W ant F ries with that.

    4.
    Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,
    Switch to Espresso.

    5.
    In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'

    6.
    Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

    7.
    < /B>Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

    8.
    Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

    9.
    Sing Along At The Opera.

    10.
    Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache .

    11.
    When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

    12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the
    Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

    13.
    Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

    And The
    Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
    14.
    PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.





    It's Called
    ...
    THERAPY
     
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I can and will do all of these. Well maybe not the fitting room one. Unless husband is with me.
    I actually have been caught skipping... I do the hopscotch with the girls every morning at School... I get lots of looks, but don't really care anymore!
    I need LOTS of therapy...
    Thanks fer the laugh...
     
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Love this!
     
  4. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    As I slink to the corner, I've done many of these. Not the hairdryer or condem one but now you have my evil mind going. I want to do the hairdryer one. Soo good.

    Ok...today at work was too funny. I sort of 'mess' with people a lot (if you haven't figured that out) so they don't always take me too seriously. We were astonishingly busy so you go into the mode of making the same ol' chit chat and ringing up stuff. I go to give this guy his change back and I look at my register and there is a flame and smoke coming out it. I totally freaked. Turned on the flashing light for a manager, then customer says, "Ummm I think you need to unplug this thing. I'm a fireman. I know." Then he shows me his badge.

    I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO UNPLUG IT. THAT WASN'T IN TRAINING.
    So after a minute or so of no manager, I get on the PA system..."Umm..this is Deb on aisle 4 and my register is on fire.":surprise: Now, it was a little fire...but still on fire. I can just see all the employees and customers going...what the heck?

    So all of a sudden I have a swat team of managers running up while I'm trying to put the fire out with a watered down heap of paper towels while the fireman is saying NOOOO!!! It's electrical!! That will only make it worse! Well, I'm not a fireman or a guy so I don't know these things. I'm winging it here.

    It was the super-secret audio recorder that is on each station. I guess maybe I talked too much. Ya think?

    (Note to Abbey...bring hair dryer and sunglasses to work tomorrow.)

    Abbey
     
  5. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I loved this. I have to print it out so I can remember to do some of these things. And Abbey..oof you do like entertainment at work. And also I know what to do with the different kinds of fire. Next time just give me a call.

    beth
     
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    thank you got a Hot Wheels radar gun to measure how fast they go around this strange looking contraption. We have a BLAST with it on football game days (we are in a college town) and you should just SEE the people hitting the brakes!
    it is great!! (My dad also bought a real radar detector to play with, that is even MORE fun! Esp when we get the cooler and some sodas, the lawn chairs, and have a "tailgate" party with the TWO radar guns.

    I do the skipping. When I worked in a bank office it was very unsettling to some people. Which is why I did it.

    I knew about a month before I left that bank office (for another dept) that I would be leaving. I DID switch everything to decaf (with the help of 2 friends) and it was a RIOT when we went back to espresso!!! Really snobby office, and it was just too funny! I only switched for about a week to decaf, then back to espresso.
     
  7. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle!

    On Sunday morning, I enjoyed watching a group of little girls trying to teach a very little girl how to skip. "That is gallopping, you do this, raise this leg......."

    My favorite is #11, the ATM machine. I am so giddy happy when it actually gives me money - sometimes I wonder.
     
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Very cute!
     
  9. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

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