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Reality check please
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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 121221" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>Sue,</p><p></p><p>I agree with the others - Unless thank you acts appropriately where he's at now, I really don't think he'll change when he gets home. As far as his personal hygiene goes, I understand your frustration!!! difficult child 1 will be 17 soon. We still have to tell him to shower, use deodorant, brush his teeth, and even to change his underwear!!! difficult child 1 just DOES NOT care about how he looks or smells.</p><p></p><p>As far as difficult child 1's dental hygiene, even when we tell him to brush his teeth, most of the time he just walks into the bathroom, turns the faucet on and off, and leaves. This is his idea of taking care of his teeth<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/furious.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":furious:" title="furious :furious:" data-shortname=":furious:" />. However, we believe the only way he'll ever decide to brush, is when he is either in extreme pain from tooth decay or when he has to pay for dental services himself. ( For this reason, we never got him braces. It would be like flushing our money down the toilet.) We've decided to let natural consequences take over...</p><p></p><p>As far as thank you's level of defiance, I wish I had some good advice for you. Sadly enough, difficult child 1 is totally like this too - He only does what he wants to do, PERIOD. About three months ago, we added Abilify to the Trileptal. We're beginning to notice that while difficult child 1 still won't do what he doesn't want to do, his level of aggression when asked to do things he doesn't want to do has diminished a tiny bit. We're being optimistically hopeful...</p><p></p><p>Well, sorry I really can't be of much help. I just really believe that allowing thank you to come home now wouldn't be a good idea. I also have some concerns over his past violence. If his level of defiance is so high, I wouldn't trust him not to get violent again. I hope the psychiatrist and therapist are able to shed some light on these issues. </p><p></p><p>Thinking of you, WFEN</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 121221, member: 3388"] Sue, I agree with the others - Unless thank you acts appropriately where he's at now, I really don't think he'll change when he gets home. As far as his personal hygiene goes, I understand your frustration!!! difficult child 1 will be 17 soon. We still have to tell him to shower, use deodorant, brush his teeth, and even to change his underwear!!! difficult child 1 just DOES NOT care about how he looks or smells. As far as difficult child 1's dental hygiene, even when we tell him to brush his teeth, most of the time he just walks into the bathroom, turns the faucet on and off, and leaves. This is his idea of taking care of his teeth:furious:. However, we believe the only way he'll ever decide to brush, is when he is either in extreme pain from tooth decay or when he has to pay for dental services himself. ( For this reason, we never got him braces. It would be like flushing our money down the toilet.) We've decided to let natural consequences take over... As far as thank you's level of defiance, I wish I had some good advice for you. Sadly enough, difficult child 1 is totally like this too - He only does what he wants to do, PERIOD. About three months ago, we added Abilify to the Trileptal. We're beginning to notice that while difficult child 1 still won't do what he doesn't want to do, his level of aggression when asked to do things he doesn't want to do has diminished a tiny bit. We're being optimistically hopeful... Well, sorry I really can't be of much help. I just really believe that allowing thank you to come home now wouldn't be a good idea. I also have some concerns over his past violence. If his level of defiance is so high, I wouldn't trust him not to get violent again. I hope the psychiatrist and therapist are able to shed some light on these issues. Thinking of you, WFEN [/QUOTE]
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