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Realizations are hard to deal with
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<blockquote data-quote="Kolleen" data-source="post: 176621"><p>Been a long week for me. I used to post here couple years ago. Had kicked B out at 17. Let him back in couple years ago when he wanted to get some schooling. He flunked out, which I knew in my heart he would. We did all the usual stuff in his high school days..... court dates, medication overdose, treatment, etc., etc. He does continue to work, even if he jumps places a bit. </p><p> </p><p>His new routine is getting driving citations. He never has insurance. He goes to court, gets fined, pays the fine eventually, if he takes too long they suspend his license, he gets ticketed again. Well about 2 wks ago he got his jeep impounded, no license. Gets that out with the help of his easy child 26 yr old bro, and 4 days later gets his other car impounded. Turns out his license was really 'instated' but paperwork had gone wrong. At least that's the story. (Don't ask why he has two cars and no insurance - EX was involved in this).</p><p> </p><p>So all this impounding $$ he doesn't have. Told him I'm done helping him, which I've been backing off since he's moved back and nothings changed in his behaviors. Just the topic changes. Deadline for getting out end of Sept. </p><p> </p><p>But it scares me this time. He's older now, taller, stronger, bad temper....... don't want holes in my house as in previous house, that's the scary part. Will he trash something???? At 17 yr it was after years of krap and then a final straw and instantly <em>get out!</em> I'd already given him a deadline this summer but there were unforseen circumstances and its Sept. I've found a fabulous Alanon Parenting Group for support... </p><p> </p><p>His routine will never change. he'll never have enough $, he'll never be organized, he'll never take care of things, he'll never do anything I ask him to do, etc. So I'm back here, looking for all the readings and support I can find to go thru with this. </p><p> </p><p>After last week's Alanon meeting so many realizations hit home I haven't been able to sleep till about 3am. Hate that! Hoping that will pass. One comment was about a genetic predisposition to addictive behavior. </p><p> </p><p>Tooooooooooo........ whatever. I don't know how much he drinks and does pot, don't want to. Genetic predispotition to ...... who cares. To his personality I guess. I used to try and figure out how much of behaviors was him and how much were the labels... Don't care any more. He's had those 17 yrs of good parenting and support. Nothing took! </p><p>Thanks for letting me vent.............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kolleen, post: 176621"] Been a long week for me. I used to post here couple years ago. Had kicked B out at 17. Let him back in couple years ago when he wanted to get some schooling. He flunked out, which I knew in my heart he would. We did all the usual stuff in his high school days..... court dates, medication overdose, treatment, etc., etc. He does continue to work, even if he jumps places a bit. His new routine is getting driving citations. He never has insurance. He goes to court, gets fined, pays the fine eventually, if he takes too long they suspend his license, he gets ticketed again. Well about 2 wks ago he got his jeep impounded, no license. Gets that out with the help of his easy child 26 yr old bro, and 4 days later gets his other car impounded. Turns out his license was really 'instated' but paperwork had gone wrong. At least that's the story. (Don't ask why he has two cars and no insurance - EX was involved in this). So all this impounding $$ he doesn't have. Told him I'm done helping him, which I've been backing off since he's moved back and nothings changed in his behaviors. Just the topic changes. Deadline for getting out end of Sept. But it scares me this time. He's older now, taller, stronger, bad temper....... don't want holes in my house as in previous house, that's the scary part. Will he trash something???? At 17 yr it was after years of krap and then a final straw and instantly [I]get out![/I] I'd already given him a deadline this summer but there were unforseen circumstances and its Sept. I've found a fabulous Alanon Parenting Group for support... His routine will never change. he'll never have enough $, he'll never be organized, he'll never take care of things, he'll never do anything I ask him to do, etc. So I'm back here, looking for all the readings and support I can find to go thru with this. After last week's Alanon meeting so many realizations hit home I haven't been able to sleep till about 3am. Hate that! Hoping that will pass. One comment was about a genetic predisposition to addictive behavior. Tooooooooooo........ whatever. I don't know how much he drinks and does pot, don't want to. Genetic predispotition to ...... who cares. To his personality I guess. I used to try and figure out how much of behaviors was him and how much were the labels... Don't care any more. He's had those 17 yrs of good parenting and support. Nothing took! Thanks for letting me vent............. [/QUOTE]
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