Realizing you've forgotten how to live your own life

[aninom]

I just wanted to share about a really great evening. I've been so anxious about the whole difficult child situation, so stressed at work, so strained doing the on-the-side freelance jobs in case I need to move out. Tonight is the first night in maybe two months I've gone out with friends.

Let me tell you, it feels like I've caught up on those two months of bad sleep. I laughed, I talked, I shared. About something NOT related to difficult child. About all those myriad OTHER things my life used to be made out of.

It's terrifyingly easy to get stuck in that pit where every free moment of time circles around what will happen next in the difficult child universe, what if difficult child does this, does that, what if situation X or Y or Z arises, what if... Taking even that small break from thinking about it made me feel like maybe the life I share with difficult child is a manageable slice of my overall life, if that makes sense. It made my headache go away.

A toast to everyone. Please don't forget to live and breathe away from that vortex of insanity that home life can become. Don't let yourself get hermetically sealed into it. I feel like if I can start prioritizing that other slice of life a little bit better, maybe I'll have some calmer breaths stored for the next time things go boom.

 

[Suz]

One of Rob's therapists used to always refer to "buckets" and to do things to refill our "buckets."

Our kids (or, in your case, your sister) drain the life out of us; drain our buckets. Having a social life outside of their needs, laughing, talking, getting away for awhile; all these things refill our buckets.

I hope you continue to do this for yourself.

Suz

 

[busywend]

It took way too many years for me to learn this. I hope your post helps others learn it sooner than I did.

It is a survival tool, for sure.

 

[ML]

Great post! You are so right and I thank you for that reminder.