Really could use some is two against one here

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mazdamama, Jun 21, 2011.

  1. mazdamama

    mazdamama New Member

    I am angry with my son's insurance company, with his psychiatrist, his therapist and his caseworker. They don't seem to realize that I do have a brain and may know what is best for my child.

    Okay....neither he or his brother are my biologically born children. They were born to my son and his deceased ex wife. I took custody of the two boys when they were 9 mos and 18 mos old and kicked their bio parents out of my home. They had lived with me from the time the older boy Daniel was 10 wks old.

    Bio mom was mentally ill (wound up setting fire to herself 2 yrs ago and spent 3 mos in a burn unit before she passed) My son...well....he is emotionally unstable and could not deal with the boys. Bio mom had attempted suicide with neuro medications while pregnant with the younger of the two boys and David was born with problems. I took custody in 2002, bio mom left the area in 2003, and I adopted the boys in 2004.

    Daniel is 10 and will be 11 in Aug. He has been in theraphy for PTSD since the age of 6 but puberty started this year and anger he had been able to control in the past is no longer controllable. He has been diagnosis'd with not only the PTSD but with ODD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), ADHD and Manic Depressive Disorder. He has been baker acted twice since for a suicide attempt and once for knocking me down three times in a wk and trying to choke me. I want him placed for a 30-60 day period, taken off all the medications and let us try again to get his medications right while being monitored for adverse reactions. Heck, the nurse I spokle with at the insurance company today was trying to tell me that he may need permanent long term placement and that I should think about giving up custody of him and letting DCF place him in a therapuetic forster home. We have not had issues for even six months and they are ready to throw him to the wolves. by the way..the PTSD is due to bio mom trying to drown him before I took custody.

    Seems that one of the things they are worried about is ME. I am a 58 yr old disabled woman and I am a widow. Mentally, although I suffer from depression, I am very strong. I just get tired sometimes of having to fight for everything for my boys. I have a back injury from a nursing accident and a few other problems but I do okay. Their other concern (mine too) is Daniel's affect on David.

    David is also 10 but just turned 10 in May. He was born preemie at 33 wks by emergency c-sec. Bio mom had attempted suicide when she was at 26 wks gestation. Part of David's brain had not developed and he was diagnosis'd with hydrocephalus while an infant but did not need shunts. He has had to have surgery on his spine. He is developmentally delayed, has ADHD and is an Aspie (Aspergers). By the time he was 8 he knew all the countries in the world and their capitols. He draws maps of the world and the US with all in place including capitols. He has also taught himself all about the planets and their moons. He has picked up some of Daniel's bad habits with losing control with his temper and making threats of killing himself or hurting others. Thing is...he really does not do this purposely, he is mimicking.

    Daniel is currently on Depakote 500mg at night with 0.1mg clonidine and Wellbutrin 100mg in the am and at 3 pm.
    David is on 2mg of Abilify at night, 50mg of Celexa in the am as well as Focalin XR 150mg.

    Me, I am on Lexapro, Cymbalta, Vytorin, Lyrica, Prilosec and Cardizem.

    Would love to hear any input. I don't think they can force me to give up my son. I think they are thinking it would be cheaper for them to get him on medicaid and the only way they can is for him to lose me. I have been the only steady person in these boys' lives.
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Welcome to the board.

    I think you are correct that her 'suggestion' is because they want to shift the responsibility for the $$$ to the state. Don't let her bully you. If your insurance covers long term care, then have the psychiatrist jump through the hoops to get it paid. Depening on which state you are in, there are some programs that can help. Also, if he is having significant issues in school as well, you MAY be able to get them to fund a stay at an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) as an educational placement (your insurance would still have to cover the medical stuff, but IF the school puts him there, they pick up the bulk of the funding).

    When is the last time that the doctor has reviewed the boys medications? I am not a doctor but those dosages seem way out of whack to me. I can't find anything supporting that high of a dose of Focalin XR (I can't find anything that supports a dose higher than 40mg/day), the Celexa dose is at the high end of the recommended range yet the Abilify is barely there. Both Focalin and Celexa can cause increase in temper outbursts. Have you seen improvement or more outbursts on the medications? I would ask the psychiatrist to review the medications or go for a second opinion, especially if you haven't seen improvement on the medications or if the psychiatrist just keeps upping the dose or adding something to treat the side-effects when you tell him there are still issues.
  3. mazdamama

    mazdamama New Member

    Thanks so much for your input. So much has been going on here and so many medications coming into this house I had not really checked the indications and counter indications. David had gone from seeing a developmental/behavioral specialist out of town to seeing a psychiatrist and therapist in town. The specialist was great but was monitoring the medications and could only see David every 6 mos or more and no blood work was being ordered. This went on for over 3 yrs and I finally got tired of him not being monitored.
    Reading up on the focalin XR I realize that David should have never been put on it. He has high anxiety and the medication may be causing the outbursts.
    The older of the two boys has a significat cough right now, a temp and the runs. Called his pedi who will not be in the local office till tomorrow and made an appointment. She specializes in ADHD and has known the boys all their lives. I want to go over both the boys medications with her. I know that she will contact the prescribers if she feels that they are either overmedicated or on the wrong medications.
    Right now the older of the two is watching some Bigfoot program and continually interupts me to "LOOK" so I am going to get off here.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Welcome to the board.

    I'm pretty sure they can't bully you into giving up your son. That doesn't mean they won't try and make you think they can.

    There are other parents here who have had to face such issues. I'm sure they'll be along. I just wanted to offer my welcome.

  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Hello and welcome--

    First of all, Medicaid is not eager to pay for long-term care at a residential facility regardless of what the insurance rep may tell you, Medicaid is not going to be the "magic solution" to get the child into long-term care.

    I think your idea to do a complete medication-wash is a good one. How to get this accomplished....I'm not sure.

    Can his doctors have him admitted to the psychiatric hospital for a medication-wash? That should not be technically a "long term" the insurance should cover that.
  6. mazdamama

    mazdamama New Member

    That is what I am trying to have done right now. The program he is right now is through a hospital's behavioral unit and they will pay for 30 days residential. The insurance company will pay for 30 days residential so that would be a combined 60 days. I think that is more then enough time to clean his system of these drugs and try something else.

    We have an appointment with his therapist and his caseworker on Tues and I am really going to push them. My sister told me to "just take him off them" but as I told her....I am a licensed nurse and cannot do that legally AND if I withhold his medications DCF may be called and I do not need them in my life. I know this because before the boys needed so much of me I was helping grandparents raising grandchildren with the needs and info they needed.