Really Cruddy Day
- Thread starter Hound dog
- Start date
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
Liahona, no because I was injured before we got the house, that's how I paid the rather enormous down payment. Which is also why I know I got that policy. Money was no object at that point in time, we had plenty and then some. And I'd just knocked on death's door and wanted to be positive husband and the kids still at home would be secure should something happen to me.
And no, sadly no life insurance. husband always carried it on both of us when he worked, but he hadn't worked in 2 yrs.........an no, pretty sure none from the military, he left shortly before he could retire.
I wish they could set it up so a few months down the line spouses / family could deal with this stuff when their emotions are more stable and they've had time for the shock, then the realization to settle. Of course it can't be that way. Life marches forward no matter what happens. And people have got to live and pay bills ect.
Today after going to the major candle sale at a local candle factory (outrageous bargains, the one Nichole worked for) I'm going to clean and while I clean keep an eye out for that statement. Tomorrow is the patio, Rowdy's kennel, and the gutters. My trash men are already cursing me under their breaths, what's a huge bag of dog doo and gutter icky's to add to it. But I don't want full gutters once the nasty weather hits. And nov is getting away from me. (Nov?? wth did Oct go?) And I've got to add the furnace filter to the list. Travis will help me. I'll leave the rest until spring with the yard.
I'll have to try to keep focusing on the mini goals. The big ones tend to knock my feet out from under me.
And no, sadly no life insurance. husband always carried it on both of us when he worked, but he hadn't worked in 2 yrs.........an no, pretty sure none from the military, he left shortly before he could retire.
I wish they could set it up so a few months down the line spouses / family could deal with this stuff when their emotions are more stable and they've had time for the shock, then the realization to settle. Of course it can't be that way. Life marches forward no matter what happens. And people have got to live and pay bills ect.
Today after going to the major candle sale at a local candle factory (outrageous bargains, the one Nichole worked for) I'm going to clean and while I clean keep an eye out for that statement. Tomorrow is the patio, Rowdy's kennel, and the gutters. My trash men are already cursing me under their breaths, what's a huge bag of dog doo and gutter icky's to add to it. But I don't want full gutters once the nasty weather hits. And nov is getting away from me. (Nov?? wth did Oct go?) And I've got to add the furnace filter to the list. Travis will help me. I'll leave the rest until spring with the yard.
I'll have to try to keep focusing on the mini goals. The big ones tend to knock my feet out from under me.
L
Liahona
Guest
Sounds like a good plan. PCs 2 and 3 are usurping my plans for the day. Hope your plan goes well.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Lisa...you said he had life insurance at his old place of employment. CHECK THAT OUT! I had no clue that I still had a life insurance policy on me from when I was working years ago at Social Services. Back then it was whole life and when I had to leave they turned it over into a term life policy which ended...tada...in 2008! We had no clue about it and if I had died when I had the meningitis my kids would have actually received life insurance on me. Its entirely possible the same thing happened with your husband. From what Metlife told me and what I was told by State Farm who helped me figure out what that stupid little paper was that kept coming to the house once a year...lol, it is something that happens so often but people never know about and those policies end up never getting paid.
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
Hmmm. How do I check it out? Could the lawyer do it? He wasn't at his last place of employment that long before they had to let people go due to the economy. (sales had plummeted) But he had them at every company he worked with.........so omg, I'd have no idea where to start.
TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Lisa, I know what you mean by shutdown mode. It is scary and frustrating. It was bad enough when I was an introverted kid, but as an adult, it's embarrassing and frustrating. Especially when the info I need pops into my head when I least need it (doing 70 on the fwy). Yes, you are having a lot of anxiety. I wish I could send you on a Hawaiian vacation for a month.
It will all come together, eventually. Do not think that you have to do this all at once. Just remind yourself how to eat an elephant.
It will all come together, eventually. Do not think that you have to do this all at once. Just remind yourself how to eat an elephant.
S
Signorina
Guest
Hey Lisa- sending love and hugs too.
My only advice is to get a notebook or a legal pad and title it "things I need to talk to lawyer about" and when things pop into your mind-just write them down and let them go. It can really help keep your mind from racing.
Just put on foot in front of the other-baby steps are fine- and remember you ARE moving forward!
Xxoo
My only advice is to get a notebook or a legal pad and title it "things I need to talk to lawyer about" and when things pop into your mind-just write them down and let them go. It can really help keep your mind from racing.
Just put on foot in front of the other-baby steps are fine- and remember you ARE moving forward!
Xxoo
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Lisa...you know where he has worked right? Start with that. Call the HR depts at every place of business that he has worked and ask if he had any life insurance through them. Most businesses have life insurance if they have a benefit package. It normally isnt a lot. Like at my job I had a $25k life insurance policy that the company paid for. Also had my regular benefits like health insurance they paid for on me, family that I paid for, 401 K, retirement, etc. Now I could also take out extra life insurance if I wanted to but at that time I didnt because I knew that would mean a physical and I didnt want to make any alerts.
So just ask.
Also go all the way back to the army. My son has a small little account that he had started in the Marines with like 2 paychecks and he just forgot to stop it. He hasnt ever taken it out so it continues to accrue interest ever since he got out and the statement comes to my house. Once a year. LOL. I have told hm about it and asked him if he wants to close it but he just goes...ehhh. I just keep the statements because one day I guess he will want the account. You may have something sitting out there like that. You also never know what benefits you could be entitled to as the wife of a deceased veteran. Maybe being able to access medical care at a VA hospital? Never know.
So just ask.
Also go all the way back to the army. My son has a small little account that he had started in the Marines with like 2 paychecks and he just forgot to stop it. He hasnt ever taken it out so it continues to accrue interest ever since he got out and the statement comes to my house. Once a year. LOL. I have told hm about it and asked him if he wants to close it but he just goes...ehhh. I just keep the statements because one day I guess he will want the account. You may have something sitting out there like that. You also never know what benefits you could be entitled to as the wife of a deceased veteran. Maybe being able to access medical care at a VA hospital? Never know.
S
Signorina
Guest
Hi again! Just thought of this and nit sure if someone else posted it so forgive me if its a duplication...
Have you contacted the SSA? Here's a link if you need more info What To Do When A Beneficiary Dies
I believe Travis may be eligible to collect your h's social security benefits as a disabled adult child. You may also be able to collect add'l benefits because you are caring for your late h's disabled adult child. It's important to apply right away because I think it's based on the date of application-not on the date of the event-they don't back pay benefits.
You are definitely entitled to the immediate "death benefit" (what an awful term)
Put it on the list to ask the atty?
Hope you are feeling less overwhelmed. {hugs}
Have you contacted the SSA? Here's a link if you need more info What To Do When A Beneficiary Dies
I believe Travis may be eligible to collect your h's social security benefits as a disabled adult child. You may also be able to collect add'l benefits because you are caring for your late h's disabled adult child. It's important to apply right away because I think it's based on the date of application-not on the date of the event-they don't back pay benefits.
You are definitely entitled to the immediate "death benefit" (what an awful term)
Put it on the list to ask the atty?
Hope you are feeling less overwhelmed. {hugs}
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
Thanks Janet. I'll ask easy child to help me look into it.
Signorina, good thought. I've already received the death benefits, such as they are, which ain't much.......but it helps. We're working on Travis' disability. All he needs to do is make a phone call to re-apply as an adult. The trouble is getting him to make that phone call. Not pride or anything......just being autistic ect. He loathes to talk on the phone even to family, strangers put it into a whole different category. I'm going to be gently pushing him to do that this week.
Hugs
Signorina, good thought. I've already received the death benefits, such as they are, which ain't much.......but it helps. We're working on Travis' disability. All he needs to do is make a phone call to re-apply as an adult. The trouble is getting him to make that phone call. Not pride or anything......just being autistic ect. He loathes to talk on the phone even to family, strangers put it into a whole different category. I'm going to be gently pushing him to do that this week.
Hugs
S
Signorina
Guest
Forgive me if I am misunderstanding or being dense-but is T applying for his "own" disability benefits? Because he is also (perhaps) eligible to receive his dad's as survivor benefits since he is disabled. (see below)
"When you die, your family may be eligible for benefits based on your work.
Family members who can collect benefits include a widow or widower who is:
60 or older; or
50 or older and disabled; or
Any age if he or she is caring for your child who is younger than 16 or disabled and entitled to Social Security benefits on your record.
Your children can receive benefits, too, if they are unmarried and:
Younger than 18 years old; or
Between 18 and 19 years old, but in an elementary or secondary school as full-time students; or
Age 18 or older and severely disabled (the disability must have started before age 22)."
He may be eligible to apply for both his own disability benefit plus benefits as a survivor under his fathers record. I'm not sure if he can be paid 2 benefits-but if not- the SSA defaults to the higher $ amount. If he gets benefits under h's records - you may be eligible to receive add'l payment as his caregiver.
Again-sorry if I am stating something you all ready knew. I'd rather err on the safe side and be redundant!
"When you die, your family may be eligible for benefits based on your work.
Family members who can collect benefits include a widow or widower who is:
60 or older; or
50 or older and disabled; or
Any age if he or she is caring for your child who is younger than 16 or disabled and entitled to Social Security benefits on your record.
Your children can receive benefits, too, if they are unmarried and:
Younger than 18 years old; or
Between 18 and 19 years old, but in an elementary or secondary school as full-time students; or
Age 18 or older and severely disabled (the disability must have started before age 22)."
He may be eligible to apply for both his own disability benefit plus benefits as a survivor under his fathers record. I'm not sure if he can be paid 2 benefits-but if not- the SSA defaults to the higher $ amount. If he gets benefits under h's records - you may be eligible to receive add'l payment as his caregiver.
Again-sorry if I am stating something you all ready knew. I'd rather err on the safe side and be redundant!
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Oh gosh...Signorina just made my brain go 'ZING' that is what I have been trying to remember for you!
You have got to get Travis to get that disability application done no matter what. That is pretty much so important its not funny. I dont care if it means having Nichole or easy child help you, get it done asap. He will get benefits based on your husbands benefits dated back to the first time you applied and most likely they will back date it to a much earlier date. Plus...you will get the money to take care of him.
Another thing. Consider applying for yourself with the kidney issues.
You have got to get Travis to get that disability application done no matter what. That is pretty much so important its not funny. I dont care if it means having Nichole or easy child help you, get it done asap. He will get benefits based on your husbands benefits dated back to the first time you applied and most likely they will back date it to a much earlier date. Plus...you will get the money to take care of him.
Another thing. Consider applying for yourself with the kidney issues.
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
That's why we're working on it, got to get the boy to make the first phone call first according to SS, he gives his A ok and we can take over. However, according to them, he made enough working as to be ok without his dad's benefits, although I totally don't see how.........maybe I read it wrong.
It's on the to do list for this week.
It's on the to do list for this week.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
No...lisa...he was disabled BEFORE he was 22 which is what is going to be the important thing. That is the most important thing. He couldnt have made enough between now and when he was old enough to start working to get a whole lot in disability. It will be in both your interests for him to get it based on his/his fathers credits. Plus that means you get a check too. win win.
H
HaoZi
Guest
If the lawyer doesn't know, ask for a referral to a lawyer that specializes in it.
S
Signorina
Guest
Lisa, PLEASE do not let T apply for his own disability benefits until you investigate whether he can receive benefits under your husband's record. I have to imagine your h had greater earnings and therefore a greater benefit (PIA)amount. Plus if T qualifies to receives h's benefits, you will qualify as well.
"If a father dies (his) Disabled Adult Child can continue to receive dependent benefits for life if the child was disabled before age 22. A mother caring for a Disabled Adult Child remains entitled to a benefit as long as the child remains in her care".
That means T is eligible to receive 75% of h's benefit amount. As his mother who cares for him as h's widow, you are eligible to receive an add'l 75% of your h's benefit amount. Together, you & T will bring in 150% of your h's benefit.
X'ing my fingers toes & elbows for you
(not trying to be pushy)
"If a father dies (his) Disabled Adult Child can continue to receive dependent benefits for life if the child was disabled before age 22. A mother caring for a Disabled Adult Child remains entitled to a benefit as long as the child remains in her care".
That means T is eligible to receive 75% of h's benefit amount. As his mother who cares for him as h's widow, you are eligible to receive an add'l 75% of your h's benefit amount. Together, you & T will bring in 150% of your h's benefit.
X'ing my fingers toes & elbows for you
(not trying to be pushy)
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
Oh trust me, the boy is going for husband's first, no doubt about it. We first filed for him as a child, it was only turned down due to family income.
You're not being pushy. And I'm glad you guys lit a fire under my butt about the time line, that I didn't know. Thanks
You're not being pushy. And I'm glad you guys lit a fire under my butt about the time line, that I didn't know. Thanks
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
We just want the best for you and that money will come in darned handy for you because I really dont see you or travis as actually being able to work very much in the near future. You are ill even if you dont want to admit it. You arent getting any younger. I know that isnt easy to admit.
