OK - so last week around here was H*ll... But now, things have changed and I don't really understand it. difficult child shuts me out all the time, and then talks to her Dad about everything. I get grunts and one-word answers - but husband gets told all about difficult child's day. I was always sooo envious. I wanted that kind of relationship with my daughter soooo badly! But it seemed that no matter what I did, difficult child was angry with me...and felt great about her Dad. Eventually, I became resigned and just accepted that difficult child was "Daddy's girl" and resented her Mom and that was it. Since the events of last week - difficult child has switched this around. She is now shutting her Dad out. HE is now the "bad guy". husband is completely thrown by this. She's not talking to me - what should I do? I asked her to do something, she completely ignored me - what do I do??? What should you do? Get used to it! Welcome to my world! And now - FINALLY - I am the "good guy". difficult child came home from school yesterday eager for my attention. She wanted to tell me all about her day...she wanted desparately to get my feedback and approval. I cannot even explain how I felt in this moment - I've been hoping for this from my daughter for longer than I can remember - it was just wonderful! And then, as I listened to my daughter speak, I realized I was STUNNED at the things she wanted to tell me. First, there was a long racist rant about the blacks at school and her ideas about what she was gonna do to them to tick them off. Then, she told me about how she had been right all along that so-and-so was a psycho... There was another person should have known better than to mess with her! Ha! She got what was coming to her! And that boy should have KNOWN not to go out with that girl - so she wrote him a note telling him that he'd better break up... And all of these things were said in an eager, kind of breathless excitement - the way one might speak about hearing that the cutest guy in school is going to ask you to the dance - and she was really proud of herself and wanted to get my approval. (I swear I could hear the angels on my shoulders arguing about how to handle this - certainly we don't want to actually APPROVE of these behaviors - but what happens if we say something negative? Do I want a relationship? or do I want to offer some guidance here? What is the proper response to this???) Then difficult child began to give me her opinions on ME. How it's silly for me to brush dog hair off my clothes before leaving the house, and how it's ridiculous for me to open doors for other people, and why would I be nice to other people, etc... I really had no idea what to say to half of this! In the end, I only responded with "Oh?" and "Mmpf"... This was crazy! This was sooo not what I expected. So at the end of the night, I went to husband and told him all about it. I told him how I had never had these kinds of conversations with difficult child before - is this how she normally talks? husband laughed at me and said "Yep. That's your REAL daughter." So - okay then. Good. and scary.