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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 751543" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hi. I am sorry. So sorry. You can read more about me all over the forum!</p><p></p><p>Kay is adopted. Perhaps she has fetal alcohol affects my Kay because she can not behave well or thrive. Fetal Alcohol Spectrum causes organic brain damage. The kids may look normal, but they can't be and there isn't much help. Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) is a spectrum disorder. It is an explanation at the very least.</p><p></p><p>I am not not not saying that your daughter is alcohol affected. She has symptoms of this and it is a well known problem of kids born in Eastern Europe. You would need a very specialized neuropsychiatrist to diagnose. If she has it, her behavior is really due to brain damage. Moving on to other things..</p><p></p><p>Attachment disorder is very common in our out of control adopted kids who were unloved in the early years. I believe Kay has this. Yet we adopted her at four months, but that is not always soon enough. She was tossed around her first four months in her country of birth. I have two birthchildren and I do believe adopted kids are much more prone to attachment disorder. My other two are so different, brought up the same.</p><p></p><p>Things happened to your beloved child before you met her. None of this is your fault. Nor that uncommon in adopted children. I learned that nature way trumps nurture. Kay is nothing like the rest of us in any way. Her personality is in my opinion her own, formed by her own DNA. We never wanted to admit this for years.</p><p></p><p>I hope you are feeling better and can take solace from this understanding group. Maybe it is time to put yourself first. You can not help your daughter or anyone if you lack personal self care.</p><p></p><p>It helps to have a support system. Do you have a SO, other loving children, a nice family and friend group? Don't let your troubled daughter suck all the oxygen out of your world. Others need you too. You need you! If God is in your life, perhaps join a loving church family, if yours does not feel loving. We quit a large one and joined a tiny church with the heart of a lion. They have been another rock for us. in my opinion people NEED others to heal and thrive ourselves. In real time.</p><p></p><p>Share more, if you are comfortable doing so.</p><p></p><p>Be well. This is soooo important. YOU be well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 751543, member: 23706"] Hi. I am sorry. So sorry. You can read more about me all over the forum! Kay is adopted. Perhaps she has fetal alcohol affects my Kay because she can not behave well or thrive. Fetal Alcohol Spectrum causes organic brain damage. The kids may look normal, but they can't be and there isn't much help. Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) is a spectrum disorder. It is an explanation at the very least. I am not not not saying that your daughter is alcohol affected. She has symptoms of this and it is a well known problem of kids born in Eastern Europe. You would need a very specialized neuropsychiatrist to diagnose. If she has it, her behavior is really due to brain damage. Moving on to other things.. Attachment disorder is very common in our out of control adopted kids who were unloved in the early years. I believe Kay has this. Yet we adopted her at four months, but that is not always soon enough. She was tossed around her first four months in her country of birth. I have two birthchildren and I do believe adopted kids are much more prone to attachment disorder. My other two are so different, brought up the same. Things happened to your beloved child before you met her. None of this is your fault. Nor that uncommon in adopted children. I learned that nature way trumps nurture. Kay is nothing like the rest of us in any way. Her personality is in my opinion her own, formed by her own DNA. We never wanted to admit this for years. I hope you are feeling better and can take solace from this understanding group. Maybe it is time to put yourself first. You can not help your daughter or anyone if you lack personal self care. It helps to have a support system. Do you have a SO, other loving children, a nice family and friend group? Don't let your troubled daughter suck all the oxygen out of your world. Others need you too. You need you! If God is in your life, perhaps join a loving church family, if yours does not feel loving. We quit a large one and joined a tiny church with the heart of a lion. They have been another rock for us. in my opinion people NEED others to heal and thrive ourselves. In real time. Share more, if you are comfortable doing so. Be well. This is soooo important. YOU be well. [/QUOTE]
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