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Really Struggling Today
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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 596713" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>Thank you so much everyone. It means a lot that you all understand the pain and grief that I am going through as I go through this journey. Some days I am really good and have found a place of acceptance and other days, like I said, things just seem to rain down on me and I fall apart. </p><p></p><p>Barbara - I love the idea of having an item that I can tuck away and pull out when I need to go through some grieving or anger process. I have just the thing. When I was cleaning out our camping trailer I found a set of nesting snowmen that belonged to difficult child. Something he'd always wanted and my mom found them for him. I will keep them safe for him but in the meantime it is something I can tuck away in the dining room cabinet and only pull out when I need to. </p><p></p><p>DSTC - I totally understand how hard that is to run in to people like that. A good friend's son is graduating in June and we have been invited to his party. I have not RSVP'd because I'm just not sure I can go.</p><p></p><p>RE - Thank you. I do feel better today. And on a positive note I got a lot of housework done yesterday - trying to keep myself busy. </p><p></p><p>Calamity - That is exactly is. Graduations, report cards, etc.. It's hard. Spring seems like a time for renewal and fresh starts and I feel like difficult child's life and my relationship with him is stuck in the mud. </p><p></p><p>I got my Mindfulness for Stress Reduction workbook out again yesterday. I had let it sit and ignored it for a while. I also looked up some additional support group information for family/friends of the mentally ill. </p><p></p><p>I did speak to difficult child yesterday via text. It was not good. He is so angry with me because he doesn't qualify for social assistance. He wants me to lie and tell them that I won't let him come back home. He doesn't realize that they can then come after me for the money. I wouldn't lie for him anyway. I love my son but he is able bodied and has a job. If he chooses to work hard he will get enough hours to pay his room and board ($25/week), have spending money and still go to school. When I was in high school I worked 30-35 hours every week. He makes a little more than $10/hour at his current job. 10 hours a week would give him his room and board plus $75 a week spending money. When he thought he was going to get social assistance he started giving his hours away at work and calling in sick. He just doesn't want to work - he wants to party with his friends. </p><p></p><p>I didn't get into all of that with him. Just told him I was sorry I couldn't help him but I wasn't going to commit fraud to get him on social assistance. told him I loved him and missed him, that I was confident he could succeed at whatever he chose to do and that I wanted a relationship with him. </p><p></p><p>He doesn't see that his side of the relationship hinges only on what I can/will do for him. If he doesn't get what he wants, I am dirt. Hopefully he'll mature out of that. </p><p></p><p>Again, thank you to everyone for your support yesterday. I came back several times during the day just to read your posts and it got me through a rough day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 596713, member: 14356"] Thank you so much everyone. It means a lot that you all understand the pain and grief that I am going through as I go through this journey. Some days I am really good and have found a place of acceptance and other days, like I said, things just seem to rain down on me and I fall apart. Barbara - I love the idea of having an item that I can tuck away and pull out when I need to go through some grieving or anger process. I have just the thing. When I was cleaning out our camping trailer I found a set of nesting snowmen that belonged to difficult child. Something he'd always wanted and my mom found them for him. I will keep them safe for him but in the meantime it is something I can tuck away in the dining room cabinet and only pull out when I need to. DSTC - I totally understand how hard that is to run in to people like that. A good friend's son is graduating in June and we have been invited to his party. I have not RSVP'd because I'm just not sure I can go. RE - Thank you. I do feel better today. And on a positive note I got a lot of housework done yesterday - trying to keep myself busy. Calamity - That is exactly is. Graduations, report cards, etc.. It's hard. Spring seems like a time for renewal and fresh starts and I feel like difficult child's life and my relationship with him is stuck in the mud. I got my Mindfulness for Stress Reduction workbook out again yesterday. I had let it sit and ignored it for a while. I also looked up some additional support group information for family/friends of the mentally ill. I did speak to difficult child yesterday via text. It was not good. He is so angry with me because he doesn't qualify for social assistance. He wants me to lie and tell them that I won't let him come back home. He doesn't realize that they can then come after me for the money. I wouldn't lie for him anyway. I love my son but he is able bodied and has a job. If he chooses to work hard he will get enough hours to pay his room and board ($25/week), have spending money and still go to school. When I was in high school I worked 30-35 hours every week. He makes a little more than $10/hour at his current job. 10 hours a week would give him his room and board plus $75 a week spending money. When he thought he was going to get social assistance he started giving his hours away at work and calling in sick. He just doesn't want to work - he wants to party with his friends. I didn't get into all of that with him. Just told him I was sorry I couldn't help him but I wasn't going to commit fraud to get him on social assistance. told him I loved him and missed him, that I was confident he could succeed at whatever he chose to do and that I wanted a relationship with him. He doesn't see that his side of the relationship hinges only on what I can/will do for him. If he doesn't get what he wants, I am dirt. Hopefully he'll mature out of that. Again, thank you to everyone for your support yesterday. I came back several times during the day just to read your posts and it got me through a rough day. [/QUOTE]
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