really up and down intense day, nervous about new medication but hope I am over-reacting

buddy

New Member
Mixed up day....kind of off in the morning, well turned out he took medications late (I usually watch but he seemed so cooperative and I had to run to the little girls room) then was awesome at his big 1.5 hrs of school, then AWFUL...total meltdown at home, he tripped (and same symptoms as always, that panic hits him and he loses all control) ON THE WAY down he is yelling "say are you ok? YOU NEVER SAY ARE YOU OK TO ME..." UM yes I do but when I do you still get mad, it is just that he can't handle being scared/upset. And it went into a full rage, no hitting but screams and stomping and pounding the walls so again I went to the car and he followed...but woudl not get in...stood on the stairs BAWLING. So then the panic in ME starts.. this is how bad medication reactions start.

This kid just does not actually CRY, sobbing kind of crying.so, I started to worry about the medication...this happened on the Seroquel...just lost it totally, rage, crying, so depressed, not himself even beyond the explosive times. I finally got him in, he continued to rage for a while but finally got it all out and we went to a lake had a wonderful time and I asked him to think of a goal for today. OF course it was something he wanted me to buy but I said ok because this was totally weird and I am scared the medication is not working again.... need to see how much control he has and if it is just that he has this cold and routine/school woes are back. So, he asks for a Selina Gomez CD. He asked me to stay quiet for a while so he could work on being calm. (I'm ok with that) Then after a long walk at the lake, we went to the nature center and colored together and made small talk, etc.... he did great at Occupational Therapist (OT) and great in counseling, she said the best ever. We went and got the cd. He has had blurt moments still of not really great words but not terrible. I have had to work to keep him busy though all the way till 8:30 pm. Just could not risk him going off again, mostly for my sake.

THEN just now, he is listening to the CD and there is a song called "MY DILEMMA" or something. He just called up and I think I get what he is trying to say but he has such a hard time. He said the song makes him think about the problems and frustrations he has with me today and maybe he can just tell God that he is going to use this song and play it whenever he is mad at me for a sorry, "do you think that is a good idea mom?" I said sure, but also said, NOW we are getting somewhere. I said Q THIS is what yoru counselor and I are saying. You need to tell me which problems (dilemmas) you are feeling frustrated about. Can you write them down for me? HE said YES.... we will see if he does (usually it is just a string of swear words about me).... I told him that was a great way to problem solve (even though I have no clue what things he is specifically talking about... I am SURE it is that he does not get all he wants every second and still doesn't put together that his OWN behavior has resulted in the limits, but that is Q.....
I'm exhausted.
Hoping the medication is working but it was just a bad time. He did punch me in the stomach yesterday during a transition I messed up...I went in fifteen minutes early so he thought he had to leave and miss his "reward" even when we todl him NO he was stuck in that black and white mode..... it was not a real punch...just went for me. Today he flicked me with a finger and grabbed my arm, oh yeah, he did throw an empty cereal box at me....during that morning rage. So, it is not great but still way better than the actual bruise making kicks and hits. PLEASE LORD, let this medication work .... dont cause a dam of emotions to burst..... it is just not fair to him.
 
T

TeDo

Guest
Good thing you can remain cautiously optimistic. Pretzeling and praying it was just the cold/anxiety and not a medication reaction. Overall, sounds like a pretty good day. Progress in any size or shape is still progress. Any news fromt he school yet? Whatever happened to "he can start the new school on the 2nd"???? Who's wishful thinking was that again???
 

buddy

New Member
NO news from the district, I sent another email this morning to EVERYONE and called and left voice mails too.... I just think it is so rude to not respond in any way. To not say at least, yes we are working on it... just week after week goes by.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
{{hugs}}

Music is powerful. Maybe you need an ipod or something with a selection of message songs... that you can play when he needs them, wherever you are?
 

Malika

Well-Known Member
Sorry the honeymoon sounds like it is coming to an end, Buddy. Are you going to speak to the doctor about his behaviour on this new medication? Sorry, too, you haven't heard back re the school - this is more than frustrating. I get this often from publishers I am waiting to hear back from about a sample I've done, for example - at least you can ring and persist (I can't because looks like I am desperate for work :)) But, for goodness sake, someone somewhere must have info? Bises.
 

buddy

New Member
{{hugs}}

Music is powerful. Maybe you need an ipod or something with a selection of message songs... that you can play when he needs them, wherever you are?


you know what is interesting about that.... he is picking out the words and she sings pretty fast. I used to buy those slowed down cd's that we can use for therapy... think row row row your boat 8 times slower than it is normally... and then use a tape player that slowed it down further.... and THEN he woudl catch some of the words. So, maybe a sign of progress that he is hearing some of the words in the music now.

And if it is someone he LIKES then that clearly is making a big difference. I may find a cd of some cute young Christian singer and tell him his cousins love this girl (because if I like her it would be a no go) and then he can hear more of those kinds of messages.
 

Ktllc

New Member
Sometimes the brain has some "HaHa" moments. Go with the flow on that. I see first hand with V how therapeutic Music can be. Even his music teacher saw it in action and was amazed by it (full blown tantrum with lots of scream and kicks. V managed to calmed down a bit after a while and went to play his ukulele with his teacher. It was like almost all his rage was lifted off his shoulders).
The school part: just plain rude but unfortunately very believable. I keep hoping and crossing fingers for them to give you a date asap.
 
Keeping my fingers crossed it's not a medication reaction... Love the idea about using music to help Q!

Sounds like the district is using that tried and true method of saving money, procrastination... Keep sending those emails and voice mails. It's going to get harder and harder for them to ignore them:warriorsmiley: SFR
 

StressedM0mma

Active Member
Buddy, I will bet that it is not a medication reaction. I would say it is the cold and not having school settled yet. Q is so very routine regulated that he is probably so overwhelmed right now. I think it is great that he is just blurting, and not hitting. (hard anyway). I am just trying to see the positive in this. My difficult child is not a crier at all, and she has had those same sobbing outbursts. And they totally freak me out too. For her it happens when everything just becomes too much. Tht could be what Q was feeling. I will keep everything pretzeled that it is not a reaction and his behavior continues to improve. And that you get a school answer soon.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
I have no idea what it is. But I do like the idea of having him write down things for you. Fingers crossed!
 

buddy

New Member
Thanks, today is much much better. He has had some pushy moments trying to force what he wants, acting demanding etc....but he followed thru with what I said and listened to the limits (even if he said he would not, he DID it). Talked to the case manager/phn today and she is all for the social skills group and thinks she, the in home psychiatric and I should meet to discuss any emergency respite options etc.

So, seems the medication is still taking the edge off of it, we have some really good moments which was not happening, and I will try to focus on that too. I like it when he will write things out too. I think it does help. Keep the positive thoughts...we can use it!
 
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