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reattachment disorder?
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 133604" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>My daughter has Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). To put it mildly, it is ugly. She is manipulative, unable to take responsibility, accepts anyone into her life no matter how inappropriate at least for a time, uses people for her own gains. When she was younger, lying, stealing, violence were everyday occurrences. </p><p> </p><p>As Nancy said, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) can and does occur with children adopted at birth. Sometimes even when the child is the biological child (sometimes due to being a preemie, being very colicky, just problems where they couldn't be held as newborns and infants can be enough).</p><p> </p><p>Honestly, if I had a choice, I'd rather my daughter be diagnosed BiPolar (BP), Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), almost anything but Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). There are no medications for it. Behavorial therapy can only do so much. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) therapy is questionable and has some high risks.</p><p> </p><p>I was lucky and did some things right without even knowing they were the right thing for my little one. I carried her pretty much non-stop for her first two years with me. Not because she needed it but because I needed to feel her, to convince myself this little girl was really my daughter and was real. She wanted to play "baby" and I happily did (I did draw the line at changing diapers, though). She had a bottle, her special blankie, a binkie and pillows surrounding her to make her bed. I'd feed her, burp her, etc. It was a game to us but it turns out that it helped her gain some attachment to me. Even so, the years 3-9 were hard. The years 10-16 were sheer hell. 17-21 has been interesting so far. More ups than downs but the downs have been very sad and very ugly.</p><p> </p><p>Even with all I've said, I've been lucky and I know it. She's working, she has a shot at a future (not the one I wanted for her but an acceptable one at least). She does love me as best she can. She loves her pets. She shows some loyalty to her friends. This is far more than many Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids can ever accomplish. Her love will always be tinged with doubts and fear. No one will ever be able to love her enough and she will always perceive the slightest slight as a lack of love. She will manipulate people to get what she wants (and she wants everything). It will always be someone else's fault. These are Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) things. There is nothing she can do about it, they are a part of her.</p><p> </p><p>For your sake, I hope the diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is wrong. If it's not, good luck. Even mild Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is hard going. It can be overcome, at least to some extent but the battles will be long and hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 133604, member: 3626"] My daughter has Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). To put it mildly, it is ugly. She is manipulative, unable to take responsibility, accepts anyone into her life no matter how inappropriate at least for a time, uses people for her own gains. When she was younger, lying, stealing, violence were everyday occurrences. As Nancy said, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) can and does occur with children adopted at birth. Sometimes even when the child is the biological child (sometimes due to being a preemie, being very colicky, just problems where they couldn't be held as newborns and infants can be enough). Honestly, if I had a choice, I'd rather my daughter be diagnosed BiPolar (BP), Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), almost anything but Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). There are no medications for it. Behavorial therapy can only do so much. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) therapy is questionable and has some high risks. I was lucky and did some things right without even knowing they were the right thing for my little one. I carried her pretty much non-stop for her first two years with me. Not because she needed it but because I needed to feel her, to convince myself this little girl was really my daughter and was real. She wanted to play "baby" and I happily did (I did draw the line at changing diapers, though). She had a bottle, her special blankie, a binkie and pillows surrounding her to make her bed. I'd feed her, burp her, etc. It was a game to us but it turns out that it helped her gain some attachment to me. Even so, the years 3-9 were hard. The years 10-16 were sheer hell. 17-21 has been interesting so far. More ups than downs but the downs have been very sad and very ugly. Even with all I've said, I've been lucky and I know it. She's working, she has a shot at a future (not the one I wanted for her but an acceptable one at least). She does love me as best she can. She loves her pets. She shows some loyalty to her friends. This is far more than many Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids can ever accomplish. Her love will always be tinged with doubts and fear. No one will ever be able to love her enough and she will always perceive the slightest slight as a lack of love. She will manipulate people to get what she wants (and she wants everything). It will always be someone else's fault. These are Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) things. There is nothing she can do about it, they are a part of her. For your sake, I hope the diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is wrong. If it's not, good luck. Even mild Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is hard going. It can be overcome, at least to some extent but the battles will be long and hard. [/QUOTE]
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