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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 386304" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I don't print them, I copy them to a text file and keep it, backed up on our main computer.</p><p></p><p>As for what SpEd reveals - if it's not for public consumption, then cross-reference it to your computer using your own code that doesn't reveal your sources.</p><p></p><p>For a lot of difficult child 3's mainstream schooling, I had my 'spies' in the form of kids from church. They would talk to either me, or my daughters who they saw at dance class (the dance school used the school hall in the evenings). After learning my lesson the hard way, when I quoted a friend of difficult child 3's who had witnessed a gang beating difficult child 3 up in the playground (only to have the class teacher 'out' the source to the bullies and then refuse to believe him or difficult child 3) I learned to not divulge my sources. I found it worked better to be able to say, "I know this happens." It did mean that if/when the school denied it, I could do nothing because it became "he said, she said", but it did mean they lifted their game and started worrying that I had eyes in the back of my head. They never did work out where I was getting my info from.</p><p></p><p>I've kept all reports etc. including the ones I felt were way out of line. I feel the kids know themselves and also are more likely to follow how they feel inside, than follow an ancient, yellowed assessment from someone who didn't necessarily get it right. However, even the wrong stuff can be useful in what it tells years later. For example, an early report on difficult child 3 says that he will never be able to attend a normal school and never be able to live independently; will always need a high level of support. etc. Pessimistic. But I have no problem with difficult child 3 seeing it, even now, because he knows he has surpassed its expectations.</p><p></p><p>When difficult child 3 was in Grade 4, a kid called him (among other names) a "retard". difficult child 3 didn't know what it meant but did work out from the way the word was delivered, that it was meant to be an insult. So when he wanted to say something bad back to that kid, he called HIM a retard. I got a note home from the teacher telling me I needed to teach difficult child 3 some manners, teach him that calling kids names like that was not the way to win friends. I sent a somewhat angry note back, that the only place difficult child 3 had learned such words, as she well knew, was in her classroom under her supervision and if difficult child 3 was using bad words at kids, to look to those kids as the ones who had almost certainly used them first, to difficult child 3. (her own son was one of those kids!)</p><p></p><p>But the most important thing I did, that helped difficult child 3 cope - I told him what the word meant. I also told him why that word did not apply to anybody and especially not to him. I then explained (carefully, because it was a complicated concept for an autistic kid) that the person who uses words like that to wound someone, is actually revealing his own secret fears about himself. In other words, the kid who calls another "stupid" is himself secretly afraid he's not as smart as others. So insults actually reveal that the person trying to wound with words is really the one who fears he most deserves his own label. </p><p></p><p>So being called 'retard" was actually an indication that the kid was jealous of difficult child 3's abilities and feeling very insecure by contrast.</p><p></p><p>This worked. difficult child 3 was never upset by that insult again.</p><p></p><p>Reports scanned onto the computer can be hidden deep, if necessary. or put into a password-locked file. But I am never in favour of destroying evidence. Never. That's why I keep everything. It gives me a sense of security, that whatever comes up, however unexpected, I am prepared for as best as possible. Call me an electronic hoarder...</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 386304, member: 1991"] I don't print them, I copy them to a text file and keep it, backed up on our main computer. As for what SpEd reveals - if it's not for public consumption, then cross-reference it to your computer using your own code that doesn't reveal your sources. For a lot of difficult child 3's mainstream schooling, I had my 'spies' in the form of kids from church. They would talk to either me, or my daughters who they saw at dance class (the dance school used the school hall in the evenings). After learning my lesson the hard way, when I quoted a friend of difficult child 3's who had witnessed a gang beating difficult child 3 up in the playground (only to have the class teacher 'out' the source to the bullies and then refuse to believe him or difficult child 3) I learned to not divulge my sources. I found it worked better to be able to say, "I know this happens." It did mean that if/when the school denied it, I could do nothing because it became "he said, she said", but it did mean they lifted their game and started worrying that I had eyes in the back of my head. They never did work out where I was getting my info from. I've kept all reports etc. including the ones I felt were way out of line. I feel the kids know themselves and also are more likely to follow how they feel inside, than follow an ancient, yellowed assessment from someone who didn't necessarily get it right. However, even the wrong stuff can be useful in what it tells years later. For example, an early report on difficult child 3 says that he will never be able to attend a normal school and never be able to live independently; will always need a high level of support. etc. Pessimistic. But I have no problem with difficult child 3 seeing it, even now, because he knows he has surpassed its expectations. When difficult child 3 was in Grade 4, a kid called him (among other names) a "retard". difficult child 3 didn't know what it meant but did work out from the way the word was delivered, that it was meant to be an insult. So when he wanted to say something bad back to that kid, he called HIM a retard. I got a note home from the teacher telling me I needed to teach difficult child 3 some manners, teach him that calling kids names like that was not the way to win friends. I sent a somewhat angry note back, that the only place difficult child 3 had learned such words, as she well knew, was in her classroom under her supervision and if difficult child 3 was using bad words at kids, to look to those kids as the ones who had almost certainly used them first, to difficult child 3. (her own son was one of those kids!) But the most important thing I did, that helped difficult child 3 cope - I told him what the word meant. I also told him why that word did not apply to anybody and especially not to him. I then explained (carefully, because it was a complicated concept for an autistic kid) that the person who uses words like that to wound someone, is actually revealing his own secret fears about himself. In other words, the kid who calls another "stupid" is himself secretly afraid he's not as smart as others. So insults actually reveal that the person trying to wound with words is really the one who fears he most deserves his own label. So being called 'retard" was actually an indication that the kid was jealous of difficult child 3's abilities and feeling very insecure by contrast. This worked. difficult child 3 was never upset by that insult again. Reports scanned onto the computer can be hidden deep, if necessary. or put into a password-locked file. But I am never in favour of destroying evidence. Never. That's why I keep everything. It gives me a sense of security, that whatever comes up, however unexpected, I am prepared for as best as possible. Call me an electronic hoarder... Marg [/QUOTE]
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