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Refusal to see psychiatrist
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 490686" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>Poor kid. Poor mom! You are in that proverbial hard place. </p><p></p><p>I can say that we've been there done that with difficult child 1 -- the hostility, the oppositionality, refusal, etc. He was depressed and also had a health problem he was hiding. He's doing MUCH better now, but it was a hard hump to get over last year for all of us. During that time I took him back to see his old therapist because of all the issues going on. He went along for the first two appointments, but by the third one he refused to get out of the car to go in. He was really mad at the world that day. I went in without him and explained what was going on to the therapist. We sat and talked for about 10 minutes, then the therapist said if difficult child 1 wouldn't come to him, he would go to difficult child 1. So I led him out to the car, unlocked the door and he and I both got in the front seat. difficult child 1 refused to speak to him, so therapist just talked to me about difficult child 1 but his comments were carefully constructed as were my replies so that difficult child 1 would hear what he needed to hear and would have heard had he gone in to the appointment in the more traditional way.</p><p></p><p>It must have worked because the following week, difficult child 1 went in voluntarily. And throughout this I was in touch with the psychiatrist who was helping me figure out some medication adjustments that were clearly needed. We've been fortunate in that difficult child 1 has only refused medications a few times, but because of how he felt because of that decision, he hasn't done it again. I've agreed with his assertion that we can't force him to do anything. But I am also very quick to point out that he is the one who suffers the consequences, and I always ask does he really LIKE how he feels when he's off his medications? Does he like the drama that usually ensues? And since he doesn't like what happens, these reminders are usually enough to squelch the rebelliousness on this front.</p><p></p><p>I hope your difficult child 2's birthday today is as nice as possible, given the circumstances. Sometimes you have to let go of what you want for them and accept that you just can't make it all as special as you'd like because so many of the factors are out of your control. It IS sad and frustrating, but it WILL pass.</p><p></p><p>Hope your family has a peaceful holiday!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 490686, member: 3444"] Poor kid. Poor mom! You are in that proverbial hard place. I can say that we've been there done that with difficult child 1 -- the hostility, the oppositionality, refusal, etc. He was depressed and also had a health problem he was hiding. He's doing MUCH better now, but it was a hard hump to get over last year for all of us. During that time I took him back to see his old therapist because of all the issues going on. He went along for the first two appointments, but by the third one he refused to get out of the car to go in. He was really mad at the world that day. I went in without him and explained what was going on to the therapist. We sat and talked for about 10 minutes, then the therapist said if difficult child 1 wouldn't come to him, he would go to difficult child 1. So I led him out to the car, unlocked the door and he and I both got in the front seat. difficult child 1 refused to speak to him, so therapist just talked to me about difficult child 1 but his comments were carefully constructed as were my replies so that difficult child 1 would hear what he needed to hear and would have heard had he gone in to the appointment in the more traditional way. It must have worked because the following week, difficult child 1 went in voluntarily. And throughout this I was in touch with the psychiatrist who was helping me figure out some medication adjustments that were clearly needed. We've been fortunate in that difficult child 1 has only refused medications a few times, but because of how he felt because of that decision, he hasn't done it again. I've agreed with his assertion that we can't force him to do anything. But I am also very quick to point out that he is the one who suffers the consequences, and I always ask does he really LIKE how he feels when he's off his medications? Does he like the drama that usually ensues? And since he doesn't like what happens, these reminders are usually enough to squelch the rebelliousness on this front. I hope your difficult child 2's birthday today is as nice as possible, given the circumstances. Sometimes you have to let go of what you want for them and accept that you just can't make it all as special as you'd like because so many of the factors are out of your control. It IS sad and frustrating, but it WILL pass. Hope your family has a peaceful holiday! [/QUOTE]
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