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Regret vs Guilt
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 761781" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>Laura, I know you are hurting, but I agree you did the right thing by not going to Chicago. I admire your strength in refusing to tolerate your son's abuse. I know how how hard it must have been to set so firm a boundary. </p><p></p><p>I have little contact with my adult son who is 36, an addict with a very difficult personality (narcissistic, grandiose, gaslighting, etc.). He was very sick about 6 months ago and begged me to take care of him. I would not bring him to my house, but I got a hotel room and took care of him and he recovered. He seemed to be changing for the better to the point that I co-signed a 9 month lease because he was being evicted from is apartment. We enjoyed a few peaceful weeks of contact.</p><p></p><p>Within a few months he began being verbally abusive again, and I began to suspect he was doing/dealing drugs. Fast forward. He is being evicted from the apartment I am a co-signer on because of suspected drugs/dealing. As we say, no good deed goes unpunished. </p><p></p><p>It's 2 in the morning as I write this. I will do anything this time to rescue him, I will not store his belongings, I will not give him money. I don't even want contact. I am done. Thank you for sharing your story and showing that even though it breaks our hearts, we can can stand up for ourselves. The waves of sorrow come, but so does the relief of letting go, letting God.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 761781, member: 19832"] Laura, I know you are hurting, but I agree you did the right thing by not going to Chicago. I admire your strength in refusing to tolerate your son's abuse. I know how how hard it must have been to set so firm a boundary. I have little contact with my adult son who is 36, an addict with a very difficult personality (narcissistic, grandiose, gaslighting, etc.). He was very sick about 6 months ago and begged me to take care of him. I would not bring him to my house, but I got a hotel room and took care of him and he recovered. He seemed to be changing for the better to the point that I co-signed a 9 month lease because he was being evicted from is apartment. We enjoyed a few peaceful weeks of contact. Within a few months he began being verbally abusive again, and I began to suspect he was doing/dealing drugs. Fast forward. He is being evicted from the apartment I am a co-signer on because of suspected drugs/dealing. As we say, no good deed goes unpunished. It's 2 in the morning as I write this. I will do anything this time to rescue him, I will not store his belongings, I will not give him money. I don't even want contact. I am done. Thank you for sharing your story and showing that even though it breaks our hearts, we can can stand up for ourselves. The waves of sorrow come, but so does the relief of letting go, letting God. [/QUOTE]
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