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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 486320"><p>Nancy, I keep being struck by how alike our difficult children are... and we seem to keep revolving between each one of them being in treatment and then relapsing. I so get where you are because I have been there and will probably be there again unfortunately. I think you have been doing a great job of setting limits and letting go... it is a process that is for sure. And when they are doing well it is so easy to get our hopes up and then that dread and then that kick in the stomach like you said.</p><p></p><p>I know for me I am starting to lose faith...and although i will love him and support his recovery, I think I am hoping less.... too many disappointments so far to have a lot of faith.</p><p></p><p>I don't think you have been snowed..... you have been hopeful but you knew last night she wasn't telling the truth, and you knew that her stories were bogus but it is such a disappointment.</p><p></p><p>One thing with my difficult child is that he is out of state.... I know from too much experience that if he is in this area he can't stay away from his comfort friends, especially the girlfriend. And the relationship with the girlfriend is so volatile that when it is going badly it sends him to the drug use, and his male friends are all users. So yeah bad news. My hope right now is that the contacts he is makingn where he is are all in recovery and so will help him get a new start.... and the risk is definitely there that he will just find other people to relapse with and it will get worse. His being out of state helps me detach a little.... and we basically only communicate when he texts me for money. I do however check his phone records, mostly to see if he is in constant with the girlfriend because that is always a bad sign... I am getting better though and not doing it as much. I also check his fb page as that gives me a hint into what is going on.</p><p></p><p>Anyway hugs and sympathy to you.... I hope someday both of our difficult children will be in recovery and stay there and we can each get off this roller coaster.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 486320"] Nancy, I keep being struck by how alike our difficult children are... and we seem to keep revolving between each one of them being in treatment and then relapsing. I so get where you are because I have been there and will probably be there again unfortunately. I think you have been doing a great job of setting limits and letting go... it is a process that is for sure. And when they are doing well it is so easy to get our hopes up and then that dread and then that kick in the stomach like you said. I know for me I am starting to lose faith...and although i will love him and support his recovery, I think I am hoping less.... too many disappointments so far to have a lot of faith. I don't think you have been snowed..... you have been hopeful but you knew last night she wasn't telling the truth, and you knew that her stories were bogus but it is such a disappointment. One thing with my difficult child is that he is out of state.... I know from too much experience that if he is in this area he can't stay away from his comfort friends, especially the girlfriend. And the relationship with the girlfriend is so volatile that when it is going badly it sends him to the drug use, and his male friends are all users. So yeah bad news. My hope right now is that the contacts he is makingn where he is are all in recovery and so will help him get a new start.... and the risk is definitely there that he will just find other people to relapse with and it will get worse. His being out of state helps me detach a little.... and we basically only communicate when he texts me for money. I do however check his phone records, mostly to see if he is in constant with the girlfriend because that is always a bad sign... I am getting better though and not doing it as much. I also check his fb page as that gives me a hint into what is going on. Anyway hugs and sympathy to you.... I hope someday both of our difficult children will be in recovery and stay there and we can each get off this roller coaster. TL [/QUOTE]
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