Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Relapsed
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="barneysmom" data-source="post: 390511" data-attributes="member: 1872"><p>nancy, I'm holding you and your family close close close in my heart.</p><p></p><p>Midwest Mom made a great point about relapse being a part of the illness, and that it is part of the healing. I too think your daughter may benefit from hearing from others who have relapsed and gotten past it. For myself, I am grateful for the relapse I had -- it taught me a lot and it keeps me alive. I couldn't have internalized the fact that the first drink would get me, if I didn't have the experience of drinking it and finding out for myself.</p><p></p><p>I had 3 mos. sober and then "one drink" with an ensuing two-week blackout, at the end of which I graduated from college (June 1989) with a 3.8 average and a huge bruise on my chin in the graduation procession in full regalia -- from falling on my face the night before. I'll never forget the look my English professor gave me when he saw that bruise -- so surprised and concerned (I had gotten a BA in English and he was my favorite teacher).</p><p></p><p>Your courage in dealing with your daughter is ASTOUNDING -- keep it up. Believe me that's what I needed -- knowing people were done with my #### because if there <u>was</u> <u>any</u> <u>slack</u> <u>at</u> <u>all</u>, I would have taken that route. The only way I could proceed with recovery was if there <u>was</u> <u>no</u> <u>slack</u>. A lot of times the only thing that kept me from the first drink was the <u>sure</u> <u>knowledge</u> that no one would rescue me. Boy that was tiring when I realized it was going to be true for the rest of my life, at least regarding those who knew and cared for me.</p><p></p><p>You did good in not letting yourself be distracted by the friends that are dragging her down, even though your rage at them is righteous. As you already know, your daughter will see that her association with them is upsetting to you -- a good enough reason for associating with them again if she needs to create a little chaos to avoid her own pain.</p><p></p><p>I noticed that your daughter said "you deserve better." I was thinking that is not borderline talk, which I think is very encouraging. A person with active Borderline (BPD) would never say that -- would not have the insight to put herself in another's shoes in any capacity. "You deserve better" may be drunk talk, I don't know, but I've always thought your daughter's greatest risk for sobriety was Borderline (BPD) (and almost certainly genetics) but "you deserve better" wasn't coming from a Borderline (BPD) point of view.</p><p></p><p>I have to say that reading about your courage, Nancy, along with the courage of your husband and especially your daughter, is an immense encouragement to me. Thank you.</p><p></p><p>I think your daughter has a ton of potential. It's very very risky I know. Keep it up Nancy, don't waver. You can do it -- you ARE doing it. Eyes on the prize. Whatever happens, you will have done your job and will have been the mom she needs. </p><p></p><p>Jo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="barneysmom, post: 390511, member: 1872"] nancy, I'm holding you and your family close close close in my heart. Midwest Mom made a great point about relapse being a part of the illness, and that it is part of the healing. I too think your daughter may benefit from hearing from others who have relapsed and gotten past it. For myself, I am grateful for the relapse I had -- it taught me a lot and it keeps me alive. I couldn't have internalized the fact that the first drink would get me, if I didn't have the experience of drinking it and finding out for myself. I had 3 mos. sober and then "one drink" with an ensuing two-week blackout, at the end of which I graduated from college (June 1989) with a 3.8 average and a huge bruise on my chin in the graduation procession in full regalia -- from falling on my face the night before. I'll never forget the look my English professor gave me when he saw that bruise -- so surprised and concerned (I had gotten a BA in English and he was my favorite teacher). Your courage in dealing with your daughter is ASTOUNDING -- keep it up. Believe me that's what I needed -- knowing people were done with my #### because if there [U]was[/U] [U]any[/U] [U]slack[/U] [U]at[/U] [U]all[/U], I would have taken that route. The only way I could proceed with recovery was if there [U]was[/U] [U]no[/U] [U]slack[/U]. A lot of times the only thing that kept me from the first drink was the [U]sure[/U] [U]knowledge[/U] that no one would rescue me. Boy that was tiring when I realized it was going to be true for the rest of my life, at least regarding those who knew and cared for me. You did good in not letting yourself be distracted by the friends that are dragging her down, even though your rage at them is righteous. As you already know, your daughter will see that her association with them is upsetting to you -- a good enough reason for associating with them again if she needs to create a little chaos to avoid her own pain. I noticed that your daughter said "you deserve better." I was thinking that is not borderline talk, which I think is very encouraging. A person with active Borderline (BPD) would never say that -- would not have the insight to put herself in another's shoes in any capacity. "You deserve better" may be drunk talk, I don't know, but I've always thought your daughter's greatest risk for sobriety was Borderline (BPD) (and almost certainly genetics) but "you deserve better" wasn't coming from a Borderline (BPD) point of view. I have to say that reading about your courage, Nancy, along with the courage of your husband and especially your daughter, is an immense encouragement to me. Thank you. I think your daughter has a ton of potential. It's very very risky I know. Keep it up Nancy, don't waver. You can do it -- you ARE doing it. Eyes on the prize. Whatever happens, you will have done your job and will have been the mom she needs. Jo [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Relapsed
Top