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Family of Origin
Relationship Patterns / Dysfunctional FOO Issues
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 671133" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Copa, I agree with the others of us that M should not behave in these ways, but I ask you to remember Copa that there was a time when you needed that <em>or you would not have chosen M.</em></p><p></p><p>As we change, as we come to trust ourselves Copa, the patterns we require, of our men <em>and of ourselves</em>, change. We don't know yet how this will all look. We don't even know how we want it to look. So, this is what I say about what happened last night: Hold faith with yourself Copa, and hold faith with M.</p><p></p><p>He loves you.</p><p></p><p>He will give you what you require to grow and thrive and come real. You will be coming in to a different level of caring and respect for M, for the man M is, as you both come through these changes, Copa. Maintain integrity. Stay Germany. Require of yourself the highest standards you can bear to. Kindness, compassion, honesty regarding your own motives. Trust in your decency, and in M's.</p><p></p><p>M will respond in kind.</p><p></p><p>You are changing, Copa. What you needed from M is changed. He is learning what you need, too. Only you don't know yet what that is, either.</p><p></p><p>Trust yourself and trust M.</p><p></p><p>You will come through this time, Copa. In a way, this is a blazing success story. The rules are changing. You and M are communicating.</p><p></p><p>You will come into new balance.</p><p></p><p>Remember when I posted about D H throwing our dinner over the railing, and how out of character that was? Or all the confrontations, all the anger, and the growing sense of this man's integrity and true cherishing of me?</p><p></p><p>That is where you are now I think, Copa.</p><p></p><p>It feels terrible, but it is a wonderful thing. Had it not been the printer, it would have been something else because it is time for this, Copa.</p><p></p><p>You are changing.</p><p></p><p>M loves you.</p><p></p><p>He will give you what you need Copa, just as he has, all along.</p><p></p><p>It's just that what you need from him now is changing.</p><p></p><p>No shame, Copa. Not for either of you. Real boats rock.</p><p></p><p>You are coming real.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 671133, member: 17461"] Copa, I agree with the others of us that M should not behave in these ways, but I ask you to remember Copa that there was a time when you needed that [I]or you would not have chosen M.[/I] As we change, as we come to trust ourselves Copa, the patterns we require, of our men [I]and of ourselves[/I], change. We don't know yet how this will all look. We don't even know how we want it to look. So, this is what I say about what happened last night: Hold faith with yourself Copa, and hold faith with M. He loves you. He will give you what you require to grow and thrive and come real. You will be coming in to a different level of caring and respect for M, for the man M is, as you both come through these changes, Copa. Maintain integrity. Stay Germany. Require of yourself the highest standards you can bear to. Kindness, compassion, honesty regarding your own motives. Trust in your decency, and in M's. M will respond in kind. You are changing, Copa. What you needed from M is changed. He is learning what you need, too. Only you don't know yet what that is, either. Trust yourself and trust M. You will come through this time, Copa. In a way, this is a blazing success story. The rules are changing. You and M are communicating. You will come into new balance. Remember when I posted about D H throwing our dinner over the railing, and how out of character that was? Or all the confrontations, all the anger, and the growing sense of this man's integrity and true cherishing of me? That is where you are now I think, Copa. It feels terrible, but it is a wonderful thing. Had it not been the printer, it would have been something else because it is time for this, Copa. You are changing. M loves you. He will give you what you need Copa, just as he has, all along. It's just that what you need from him now is changing. No shame, Copa. Not for either of you. Real boats rock. You are coming real. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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