Remember me???? Long overdue update

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Sue C, Jul 27, 2010.

  1. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Hello to my dear old friends! Even though I haven't been here in a long long time, I still think of all of you.

    Angela is now 30 yrs old and has been married 9 yrs. She is doing awesome!! She's a fashion designer and loves it. No kids yet.

    Melissa is now 24 and still lives at home. She was recently diagnosed as Bi-Polar, but husband and I think she has Borderline Personality Disorder from all our reading. Anyway, she only saw the psychiatric once and was prescribed Depakote ER. It made her throw up. She refuses to go back to the psychiatric to ask about a different medication. (huge sigh)

    Her behavior varies from pretty good to angry. She still gets angry if everything doesn't go her way.

    She was in an emotional abusive relationship for two years and then went out west to live with the guy. After a month, she called up hysterical that he was beating on her, so we told her she could come home. This was in January or February. She met a very nice man the end of May and everything was all lovey dovey the first month. Now he won't do everything she wants, and she's back into her anger moods at the flip of a switch.

    She's signed up at a technical college to go for Photography this Fall, but she doesn't follow through or quits things, so we'll see.

    PonyGirl--we'll be at Sara Park this year up at Tomahawk instead of downtown. Please come visit me!
     
  2. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome back Sue! Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is pretty tough to deal with, my oldest is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It's a real rollercoaster ride, I know. I'm glad Angela is doing so well :)
     
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Good to hear from you Sue. I have thought of you and the girls a few times and hoped things were better. Sounds
    a little bit better. Here's hoping the new course will help
    ground your daughter. Hugs. DDD
     
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey Sue C, nice to hear from you again!
     
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    It's great to see you, Sue. I'm delighted to hear such a wonderful update about Angela. It seems that taking a hard line on her behavior many years ago has helped force her to grow up and become a loving and productive citizen. I am very, very proud of her.

    I'm sorry to read that Melissa doesn't seem to have changed at all. She's 24 now- in theory, a grown woman. Have you tried making psychiatrist appts, medication, work/school and human decency a condition of living at home? You and husband never would have put up with Angela behaving like this for so many years.


    Suz
     
  6. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Hi everyone! Thanks for welcoming me back. :)

    Hi Suz--Thanks for being proud of Angela. We're proud, also. I know we never would have put up with Angela behaving like Melissa. When Melissa moved Out West to live with no-good-rotten-lying boyfriend, we told her if she went, she couldn't move back in with us. We said it to deter her from going, but off she went anyway. But when she called hysterical one month later that he had beat her up and threw her things out on the lawn and locked her out of the house, we said she could come home. It was my "baby" in trouble. When she signed up for school, we told her she can live here while she goes for the 2-yr degree. She's been working for the past 1-1/2 yrs at the same place. However, they are laying off plus she'll be going to school. We told her she needs to find something part-time. I like your suggestion of making the psychiatrist and medications conditions of living at home.

    Tonight I overheard her boyfriend say to her that if she can control her anger until December, she can move in with him. But yesterday she was fighting with him in the street, and I saw her throw her phone. husband and I told him we would run the other way if we were him, but he said he loves her. He's a really nice guy, and we like him a lot, but I don't see it lasting.
     
  7. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Sue, are you going leave "behavior" off of the list of conditions?

    Consequences should be outlined and all of this should be written down and signed like a contract by all 3 of you. I would not recommend having a contract unless you and husband are prepared to follow through on the consequences if she doesn't do her end.

    Remember- Melissa might be the younger of your two children but she is not a baby. Living at home at age 24 is a privilege, not a right.

    Suz
     
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