Marguerite
Active Member
I have perhaps an even more effective scenario for idiot caseworker. Describe a scenario where difficult child is seeing her for a session. Outside in the waiting room is another, younger child waiting to see caseworker. Something happens as difficult child leaves; she physically attacks the younger child. What does caseworker suggest happens here? or what if the child being attacked is caseworker's own child? Or family member? How would she feel about the behaviour chart's implementation then?
The problem here, is that "no man is an island". No difficult child, either. This is someone who HAS to learn that physical attack is a serious matter, actionable by law. An entire family, an entire social group, is affected he. You cannot just try to deal with one facet of it, and then say it's now all OK.
The trouble is, you have to "play willing" to a certain extent, make it clear you are bending over backwards here in trying to meet the caseworker. But as soon as the caseworker began to have a problem with the non-violence at any times clause, it shows she has lost perspective. Sorry. No go. Nobody should ask anyone to allow violence one day out of 7. Not even one day out of 365. Or 3560 days.
BUT - you can define what violence is, what is totally unacceptable. What is generally unacceptable in the long term but can be worked on for now.
In other words - physical violence is Basket A. Never, ever. But violence, non-physical, can be Basket B.
Many years ago in my amateur dramatics days, I read a marvellous book called "The Art of Coarse Acting". It was a comedy book, but also had some brilliant wisdom in it. In this book it warned about the sort of director who wants you to do something dangerous; who is asking you to do something you do not feel is a good idea. The author suggested the actor play dub; ask the director, "I'm sorry, Joe, I don't understand exactly how you want me to ride the blow from the broken bottle when Fred shoves it into my face. Could you please demonstrate it for me so I can see how you want it done?"
I would really push the scenario angle with this woman, including the CPS angle. You have to keep your family safe. Allowing any violence, even rewarding "only one day out of 7 of beating up your brother - good girl!" would have your family torn apart by CPS.
Rightly so.
Ask idiot therapist what she advises you tell CPS when the school calls them in to investigate the bruises and injuries on your other child - a child who already is suffering from a serious health problem and who should be cared for, not allowed to be used as a punching bag (one day out of 7, so it's somehow okay?).
Marg
The problem here, is that "no man is an island". No difficult child, either. This is someone who HAS to learn that physical attack is a serious matter, actionable by law. An entire family, an entire social group, is affected he. You cannot just try to deal with one facet of it, and then say it's now all OK.
The trouble is, you have to "play willing" to a certain extent, make it clear you are bending over backwards here in trying to meet the caseworker. But as soon as the caseworker began to have a problem with the non-violence at any times clause, it shows she has lost perspective. Sorry. No go. Nobody should ask anyone to allow violence one day out of 7. Not even one day out of 365. Or 3560 days.
BUT - you can define what violence is, what is totally unacceptable. What is generally unacceptable in the long term but can be worked on for now.
In other words - physical violence is Basket A. Never, ever. But violence, non-physical, can be Basket B.
Many years ago in my amateur dramatics days, I read a marvellous book called "The Art of Coarse Acting". It was a comedy book, but also had some brilliant wisdom in it. In this book it warned about the sort of director who wants you to do something dangerous; who is asking you to do something you do not feel is a good idea. The author suggested the actor play dub; ask the director, "I'm sorry, Joe, I don't understand exactly how you want me to ride the blow from the broken bottle when Fred shoves it into my face. Could you please demonstrate it for me so I can see how you want it done?"
I would really push the scenario angle with this woman, including the CPS angle. You have to keep your family safe. Allowing any violence, even rewarding "only one day out of 7 of beating up your brother - good girl!" would have your family torn apart by CPS.
Rightly so.
Ask idiot therapist what she advises you tell CPS when the school calls them in to investigate the bruises and injuries on your other child - a child who already is suffering from a serious health problem and who should be cared for, not allowed to be used as a punching bag (one day out of 7, so it's somehow okay?).
Marg