Remembering there was a place to come....

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by saving grace, Mar 25, 2013.

  1. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    Hello friends
    Just like my thread topic states. When i remembered there was a place to come i felt a small weight lift. I had been feeling like i was drowning and i couldn't breathe i needed to talk i needed to vent and there wasn't anyone i could talk to.
    The past couple of years has been horrible some small bumps some frustrating bad decisions but manageable. He treated successfully for Hepatitis C. But since then it has gone down hill with no brakes.
    His girlfriend who 6 years ago was a life saver to him turned to drugs and he thought he could save her. He thought himself a hypocrite if he left her because she was using.
    What has come next is almost impossible to write. She did very bad things to attain her drugs. He had been abusing klonopin for his anxiety an ex friend of the girlfriend contacted my boy and told him all of the gory details of gfs activities he is of course crushed somehow ends up shacking up with the whistle blower. Revenge? Probably. That he cant spend one minute alone probably.
    Jump forward 2 months he has now completely relapsed, using cocaine lying and stealing he has been suspended twice from work for not showing up. I could go on and on.
    My heart is torn open. I am finding it very hard to remember how to separate myself from this. His problems are consuming me morning noon and night. My family is suffering from my distractions. Its not fair to them. Its not fair to me. I supported him when he relapsed with the assumption that he would get back on track using the knowledge that he has acquired over the last 6 years of sobriety. But he hasn't. He lies and apologizes in the same day. I am nack to square one and i need guidance.

  2. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    Grace, I'm glad you remembered us. I feel the same way ~ so grateful to know the site is still here.

    We will both learn how to survive this, Grace.

  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Grace I am so very sorry. I'm glad you came back here, it is a lifesaver to so many. It will not happen overnight but stay with us and keep your feet firmly planted on the ground and you will get through this. Your difficult child knows how to get back on the right path, he has the tools to do this, he does not need you to rescue him which only prolongs it. I do not believe he is back to square one, with each relapse comes with the wisdom and tools he has learned while being sober.

    Sending caring hugs to you,
  4. ILMS

    ILMS Guest

    I'm going through something similar though my son only had about 1 month of sobriety after getting out of a 6-month drug rehab. I also am finding it hard to separate myself from this. I also have a daughter that went back to an abusive relationship after getting away. I was so happy for both of them a few months ago, feeling like they were on the right track, and it is such a let-down to see them go right back to what they were doing before. My son also lies and apologizes in the same day. He is also stealing, lying, doing drugs, etc. Wish I could give you words of advise, but I think one of the best things about this forum is just knowing you are not alone.
  5. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Sorry to hear what has happened. He got himself straightened out before and hopefully he will use those same tools to get off the drugs again. Stay strong.
  6. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    Thank you! Barbara so nice to hear from an old friend! And to make some new ones. Such a conflicting feeling. I havent stopped crying all day. I will bounce back i always do. I am going to make an appointment to meet with his phychiatrist i know that sounds weird but she has been with him since the begining and shes probably the only other person in the world that cares about him. I need to talk to someone about my issues but i also need to talk to someone that knows him and not someone that will just see him as a drug addict. Does that make sense???
  7. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    So sorry to hear about your son's relapse. It is heartbreaking. We invest our lives into these kids and want them to succeed.

  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    It makes TOTAL sense. Reach out asap for your benefit because you have to be as healthy as possible to face this unexpected turn of events. I remember you and although I hoped your life was turning into a happily ever after life...I KNOW you can pull yourself together. Hugs and caring thoughts coming your way. DDD