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Reporting in on the effect of letting go and believing for the best. IT HELPED :O)
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 606750" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Janet, I know you have some physical problems...but I think you posted once that you are still able to drive. Would it be possible for you to volunteer somewhere for an hour or two every so often? We all need to see, to laugh with and touch others, and to be seen and touched, ourselves. Especially given the continuing stress at your house these past months, it sounds like that just isn't happening. </p><p></p><p>That happens at my house, too.</p><p></p><p>Everyone is too exhausted, has been living too close to the bone for too long. Volunteering gives me a change of scenery. People appreciate that I am there. They actually SMILE at me. I get to dress up. I get to have lunch in public with other people who got dressed up that day. Miracle of miracles, no one wants me to give them money. No one resents me. No one messes up my house or expects me to cook dinner. </p><p></p><p>I get away from husband for a little while, so when I get back? He can appreciate me the way he is supposed to.</p><p></p><p>:O) </p><p></p><p>It's very cool.</p><p></p><p>I have a friend who, like you, has some physical issues which make it impossible for her to volunteer often, or for a long time, or for her to do anything physically stressful. Know what she does? She reads the morning paper on a radio station for the blind twice a month. This keeps her life open, keeps her involved with something that has nothing to do with home or husband, something that is hers, alone.</p><p></p><p>When I was a Hospice volunteer, I would come in every week for a few hours to make phone calls to the families of those who had recently experienced a Hospice death. My job was to assess whether the family member seemed to be progressing through the stages of grief normally about three months after the death, or whether he or she should be referred to the Hospice chaplain. It was an interesting, worthwhile time commitment, Janet. Another responsibility I had as a Hospice volunteer was to write the condolence cards that would arrive, with a single rose, six weeks after a Hospice death.</p><p></p><p>Again, not so much of a time commitment, but a good and worthwhile thing to do.</p><p></p><p>It was more fun to make the phone calls. What we found is that, because their support systems are less cohesive than those of most women, men generally tend to have a more difficult time adjusting to the loss of a mate than women do. One time, there was this little man who was so happy to hear from someone, anyone at all, that he showed up at the hospital the next day to take me to lunch! I wasn't there, of course ~ but one of the other volunteers did take him to lunch, and convinced him to avail himself of the Grief Support program, too.</p><p></p><p>So...maybe you would really enjoy something like that, Janet. You are such a kind and funny person. You could make such a nice difference.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 606750, member: 1721"] Janet, I know you have some physical problems...but I think you posted once that you are still able to drive. Would it be possible for you to volunteer somewhere for an hour or two every so often? We all need to see, to laugh with and touch others, and to be seen and touched, ourselves. Especially given the continuing stress at your house these past months, it sounds like that just isn't happening. That happens at my house, too. Everyone is too exhausted, has been living too close to the bone for too long. Volunteering gives me a change of scenery. People appreciate that I am there. They actually SMILE at me. I get to dress up. I get to have lunch in public with other people who got dressed up that day. Miracle of miracles, no one wants me to give them money. No one resents me. No one messes up my house or expects me to cook dinner. I get away from husband for a little while, so when I get back? He can appreciate me the way he is supposed to. :O) It's very cool. I have a friend who, like you, has some physical issues which make it impossible for her to volunteer often, or for a long time, or for her to do anything physically stressful. Know what she does? She reads the morning paper on a radio station for the blind twice a month. This keeps her life open, keeps her involved with something that has nothing to do with home or husband, something that is hers, alone. When I was a Hospice volunteer, I would come in every week for a few hours to make phone calls to the families of those who had recently experienced a Hospice death. My job was to assess whether the family member seemed to be progressing through the stages of grief normally about three months after the death, or whether he or she should be referred to the Hospice chaplain. It was an interesting, worthwhile time commitment, Janet. Another responsibility I had as a Hospice volunteer was to write the condolence cards that would arrive, with a single rose, six weeks after a Hospice death. Again, not so much of a time commitment, but a good and worthwhile thing to do. It was more fun to make the phone calls. What we found is that, because their support systems are less cohesive than those of most women, men generally tend to have a more difficult time adjusting to the loss of a mate than women do. One time, there was this little man who was so happy to hear from someone, anyone at all, that he showed up at the hospital the next day to take me to lunch! I wasn't there, of course ~ but one of the other volunteers did take him to lunch, and convinced him to avail himself of the Grief Support program, too. So...maybe you would really enjoy something like that, Janet. You are such a kind and funny person. You could make such a nice difference. :O) [/QUOTE]
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Reporting in on the effect of letting go and believing for the best. IT HELPED :O)
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