SO and I are going out of town this afternoon for one night, we'll be about 3 hours away. This will be the first time we are leaving our 17 year old granddaughter, a "usual" easy child, with a car without us being in town. She is staying with the Mom of her boyfriend of 2 years who she is very bonded with. We know this woman well, she is a great Mom and loves my granddaughter so no worries there. GD will be monitored by boyfriend's Mom until we return, with the exception of the last 2-3 hours where GD will have no one in town monitoring her movements. MOST of the time GD is trustworthy, but there have been times she has made some bad choices, but I realize that comes with being a teen.
I made ground rules of no access to our home while we're away. No driving outside the perimeter of the town we live in. (we checked mileage and she knows that) boyfriend's Mom always knows where she is, she texts us whenever she moves from one location to another. I could take all the keys to the house so she has no access and I could certainly take the car keys, however, I'm trying to be reasonable and also give her some independence. Having raised 2 teenage girls before, I realize that there are rather thin lines drawn here, but to err on one side can have pretty disastrous results, but on the other hand, they have to be able to earn trust too. I've actually drawn up a contract stating all of the parameters which is something I often do.........she can act as brilliant as a good attorney when it comes to finding any loopholes. ("You didn't actually say I couldn't FLY anywhere, you only said I couldn't DRIVE." Stuff like that!)
I am a little anxious, but I think I've covered all the bases. I would appreciate any feedback, support, ideas, advice and good vibes. Your opinions about whether to allow her to have the car and access to the house are appreciated. Thanks.
I made ground rules of no access to our home while we're away. No driving outside the perimeter of the town we live in. (we checked mileage and she knows that) boyfriend's Mom always knows where she is, she texts us whenever she moves from one location to another. I could take all the keys to the house so she has no access and I could certainly take the car keys, however, I'm trying to be reasonable and also give her some independence. Having raised 2 teenage girls before, I realize that there are rather thin lines drawn here, but to err on one side can have pretty disastrous results, but on the other hand, they have to be able to earn trust too. I've actually drawn up a contract stating all of the parameters which is something I often do.........she can act as brilliant as a good attorney when it comes to finding any loopholes. ("You didn't actually say I couldn't FLY anywhere, you only said I couldn't DRIVE." Stuff like that!)
I am a little anxious, but I think I've covered all the bases. I would appreciate any feedback, support, ideas, advice and good vibes. Your opinions about whether to allow her to have the car and access to the house are appreciated. Thanks.