Residential Treatment Center (RTC) down the road ...
- Thread starter TerryJ2
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smallworld
Moderator
Terry, I'm sorry.
My son is currently in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) after going to a wilderness program for 8 weeks over the summer. We didn't come to the decision lightly. He was not violent when he left home (although he had been at age 12 and later at age 14 from bad medication reactions). Although he was medically stable, he was academically underachieving, socially withdrawn and therapy resistant (and from extensive neuropsychological testing, he does not have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)). During the last school year, his IEP placed him in a self-contained program for socially and emotionally fragile high schoolers, and he made practically no progress. The SD refused to change his placement so we felt we had no choice but to place him privately. There were no viable alternatives locally, which is why we sought placement in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so far away from home.
The good news is that he is making very good progress, and we have hope for his future for the first time in years. What this experience has taught me is that it's very important to find programs that are the right fit for your child. The wrong programs (like the one his IEP placed my son in) can actually do damage. The right programs can make all the difference in the world.
We used an educational consultant to find the program my son attends. It absolutely meets his needs. We would not have known about it otherwise. I will not sugarcoat the facts -- it is not inexpensive. But again, we felt we had no choice so we took out a loan. Our kid was going down the tubes without this sort of intensive intervention.
I urge you to think hard about your options. Please don't put your son just anywhere to get him out of your house. It is important to locate a placement that will help him learn to function at home and in the world beyond, to grow comfortable with his strengths and his challenges.
I wish you luck in your search.
My son is currently in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) after going to a wilderness program for 8 weeks over the summer. We didn't come to the decision lightly. He was not violent when he left home (although he had been at age 12 and later at age 14 from bad medication reactions). Although he was medically stable, he was academically underachieving, socially withdrawn and therapy resistant (and from extensive neuropsychological testing, he does not have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)). During the last school year, his IEP placed him in a self-contained program for socially and emotionally fragile high schoolers, and he made practically no progress. The SD refused to change his placement so we felt we had no choice but to place him privately. There were no viable alternatives locally, which is why we sought placement in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so far away from home.
The good news is that he is making very good progress, and we have hope for his future for the first time in years. What this experience has taught me is that it's very important to find programs that are the right fit for your child. The wrong programs (like the one his IEP placed my son in) can actually do damage. The right programs can make all the difference in the world.
We used an educational consultant to find the program my son attends. It absolutely meets his needs. We would not have known about it otherwise. I will not sugarcoat the facts -- it is not inexpensive. But again, we felt we had no choice so we took out a loan. Our kid was going down the tubes without this sort of intensive intervention.
I urge you to think hard about your options. Please don't put your son just anywhere to get him out of your house. It is important to locate a placement that will help him learn to function at home and in the world beyond, to grow comfortable with his strengths and his challenges.
I wish you luck in your search.
N
Nomad
Guest
Our difficult child was also a private adoption. When we contacted the state, we were informed that we were not entitled to any aftercare funding because we adopted privately. When I contacted the private agency, they provided a grand total of zero help....no funding, no advice, no contacts, no information, no history, no nada.
Please let me know if you hear differently. I was shocked about this. When I inquired further, apparently it is a completely different story if you adopt from the state and later discover your adopted child has a significant disability. You can receive "after care" funding to help offset your expenses with a state adoption.
When I read the Primal Wound, it was interesting to discover that a disproportionate number of adopted children go to RTCs.
We sent our son to a TBS....it was debatable if he should go, 'cause his problems were not as severe as those typically attending. But he was clearly headed on the wrong path. Even with some problems there, it helped him a lot and today our son is ultra responsible.
husband and I were never sure what the right school would be for our difficult child and never felt comfortable about the costs and to be brutally honest, what the real chances of success would be with this type of school.
However, many years have gone by since then. A good educational consultatant might be your best bet...information is powerful.
IN the meantime, please enhance your self care routine and relationship with- your hubby. Find the best care possible for your son as well....get some help...don't do this yourself. (hugs)
Please let me know if you hear differently. I was shocked about this. When I inquired further, apparently it is a completely different story if you adopt from the state and later discover your adopted child has a significant disability. You can receive "after care" funding to help offset your expenses with a state adoption.
When I read the Primal Wound, it was interesting to discover that a disproportionate number of adopted children go to RTCs.
We sent our son to a TBS....it was debatable if he should go, 'cause his problems were not as severe as those typically attending. But he was clearly headed on the wrong path. Even with some problems there, it helped him a lot and today our son is ultra responsible.
husband and I were never sure what the right school would be for our difficult child and never felt comfortable about the costs and to be brutally honest, what the real chances of success would be with this type of school.
However, many years have gone by since then. A good educational consultatant might be your best bet...information is powerful.
IN the meantime, please enhance your self care routine and relationship with- your hubby. Find the best care possible for your son as well....get some help...don't do this yourself. (hugs)
Last edited:
pepperidge
New Member
You've gotten some good advice--we had no problem with public middle school agreeing to the no homework policy. It wasn't going to happen anyway so it was better to make that clear. Try to get the school to focus on what he needs to get done in class so that he can keep up in math. We gave up the homework battle in about 2nd grade because it was destroying the family. Now that we are in HS it is a different matter--he needs to do the work to graduate with a regular diploma. Sadly, that may not happen.
Good luck on finding a placement.
Good luck on finding a placement.
timer lady
Queen of Hearts
Terry, hon, the guilt will lessen. It really will. The anger will subside; you'll find the peace & calm you so crave.
AND you will find mtg after mtg ~ given the economy & the medical insurance's refusal to pay for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). SD's are doing anything possible not to use that route; if it isn't happening at school it's not a concern to them.
Saying all that, if/when difficult child lays one hand on you again call 911 & ask for transport of a mentally ill child to ER. This is serious stuff & you need to get him admitted to a psychiatric ward to get the ball rolling. You can't walk into any Residential Treatment Center (RTC) & just say I want my child placed - doesn't work that way. There are waiting lists a mile long.
Again, saying the above, you have been assaulted. You can choose to press charges & go that route. See what the courts might do. You can check into voluntary foster placement (wm is in voluntary). In the meantime, difficult child needs to know the boundaries; your personal space is not to be infringed upon unless he asks - you have to give permission. This is for your safety & in some ways a consequence for difficult child. He needs to know he hurt you; needs to start learning that concept now.
Sending you ((((hugs)))) & prayers for wisdom on your next step. This isn't for the faint of heart. We all get to our breaking point - we all learn to forgive our difficult children (tho we won't forget) & move on with our lives. Hopefully your difficult child will be able to keep up - learn the skills he needs so badly to survive in this world of ours.
AND you will find mtg after mtg ~ given the economy & the medical insurance's refusal to pay for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). SD's are doing anything possible not to use that route; if it isn't happening at school it's not a concern to them.
Saying all that, if/when difficult child lays one hand on you again call 911 & ask for transport of a mentally ill child to ER. This is serious stuff & you need to get him admitted to a psychiatric ward to get the ball rolling. You can't walk into any Residential Treatment Center (RTC) & just say I want my child placed - doesn't work that way. There are waiting lists a mile long.
Again, saying the above, you have been assaulted. You can choose to press charges & go that route. See what the courts might do. You can check into voluntary foster placement (wm is in voluntary). In the meantime, difficult child needs to know the boundaries; your personal space is not to be infringed upon unless he asks - you have to give permission. This is for your safety & in some ways a consequence for difficult child. He needs to know he hurt you; needs to start learning that concept now.
Sending you ((((hugs)))) & prayers for wisdom on your next step. This isn't for the faint of heart. We all get to our breaking point - we all learn to forgive our difficult children (tho we won't forget) & move on with our lives. Hopefully your difficult child will be able to keep up - learn the skills he needs so badly to survive in this world of ours.
AnnieO
Shooting from the Hip
Terry, I know exactly how you feel here. I'm sending you LOTS of hugs. You're right, it IS your house. And I understand the need - the deep down NEED - for you to have a respite of some sort. I am lucky in a way, I can go to my friends' homes to escape. But then I worry about Onyxx alone with cats/dog. She's not tried to hurt them but...
Take care of you and your family. And remember the fear is telling you something, if the thought of him in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) eases the fear & stress, you are making the right decision.
TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Thank you Smallworld, Nomad, Pepperidge and Stepto2.
I checked online and all of our svs are for state adoptions and income below the poverty level.
I found some awesome programs across the country ... don't know if we can afford them but it was good therapy just browsing ...
I placed an ad with-a local univ. for afternoon care. Don't know if they will accept it ... the only ads on their website are from corporations so I emailed the head of the psychiatric dept.
Meanwhile, I did get a nibble on after school care. I will post a separate note. One bright spot!
I checked online and all of our svs are for state adoptions and income below the poverty level.
I found some awesome programs across the country ... don't know if we can afford them but it was good therapy just browsing ...
I placed an ad with-a local univ. for afternoon care. Don't know if they will accept it ... the only ads on their website are from corporations so I emailed the head of the psychiatric dept.
Meanwhile, I did get a nibble on after school care. I will post a separate note. One bright spot!
AnnieO
Shooting from the Hip
Terry, you're welcome.
We found out that the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) with the highest recommendation, the one we liked, was $135 a day after insurance.
Can't do it.
husband is hoping when Onyxx goes to court, that he can get her ordered into treatment instead of juvenile detention. She'll become a ward of the state, and he will have to pay them child support, but you know what? It will be less expensive - and if it helps her - it is worth it. If it does not help her - it's worth it to have our peace back.
Maybe my absence will prove to husband that I'm not just complaining now, I'm taking action.
Or maybe not. If so... I will have gotten out.
We found out that the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) with the highest recommendation, the one we liked, was $135 a day after insurance.
Can't do it.
husband is hoping when Onyxx goes to court, that he can get her ordered into treatment instead of juvenile detention. She'll become a ward of the state, and he will have to pay them child support, but you know what? It will be less expensive - and if it helps her - it is worth it. If it does not help her - it's worth it to have our peace back.
Maybe my absence will prove to husband that I'm not just complaining now, I'm taking action.
Or maybe not. If so... I will have gotten out.
(((hugs)))Terry,
I'm sorry things have gotten out of hand.
I agree with Linda that hospitalization is the way to go. His illness needs to addressed and medication changes can yield remarkable results. My son had a very difficult/violent spring and was hospitalized (3rd psychiatric hospital stay), I began making plans to do a voluntary placement and see that he would not be returning to our home. The next few weeks at psychiatric hospital were rough, he had some bad reactions to medications and we had to watched him suffer with his illness and a horrible ER experience. I think this is the first time my husband developed compassion for difficult child and saw his behavior as a symptom of an illness rather than willful. He made our lives h*LL and it was hard to see past that. But underneath all that anger and rage, there was a little boy whose world was out of control and he had no idea how to stop it. The psychiatrist started him on a new medication combo (he's been on too many to count) and finally hit on one that worked! The results are dramatic. He is so much better and we actually enjoy being parents again. I can no longer imagine having him live away from us. It is like he is a completely different person.
I am wondering if there is any possibility that your difficult child could be bipolar. If so, the adderall may be causing the violence. Risperdal is often used with autistic spectrum kids and may be a good medication to consider as it is very helpful at controlling rage. Attentional issues and school work should take a backseat to safety and mood stability. Maybe more focus on medications to help in this area would be helpful.
I wish the very best for your family and hope you find help for difficult child.
Christy
I'm sorry things have gotten out of hand.
I agree with Linda that hospitalization is the way to go. His illness needs to addressed and medication changes can yield remarkable results. My son had a very difficult/violent spring and was hospitalized (3rd psychiatric hospital stay), I began making plans to do a voluntary placement and see that he would not be returning to our home. The next few weeks at psychiatric hospital were rough, he had some bad reactions to medications and we had to watched him suffer with his illness and a horrible ER experience. I think this is the first time my husband developed compassion for difficult child and saw his behavior as a symptom of an illness rather than willful. He made our lives h*LL and it was hard to see past that. But underneath all that anger and rage, there was a little boy whose world was out of control and he had no idea how to stop it. The psychiatrist started him on a new medication combo (he's been on too many to count) and finally hit on one that worked! The results are dramatic. He is so much better and we actually enjoy being parents again. I can no longer imagine having him live away from us. It is like he is a completely different person.
I am wondering if there is any possibility that your difficult child could be bipolar. If so, the adderall may be causing the violence. Risperdal is often used with autistic spectrum kids and may be a good medication to consider as it is very helpful at controlling rage. Attentional issues and school work should take a backseat to safety and mood stability. Maybe more focus on medications to help in this area would be helpful.
I wish the very best for your family and hope you find help for difficult child.
Christy
TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Christy,
considering that difficult child was staying up half the night on the computer, we figured out what the problem was. I should have been more clear on that. Aspies do not do well on very little sleep.
He is doing much better now.
So a trip to the psychiatric hospital is not necessary at this point.
I do have an appointment with-the psychiatrist for a medication tweak in 2 wks. We are going to review the blood draw for his Imiprimene.
In regard to bipolar, yes, there is always that possibility. I am going to grill his bmom and grandmother when I see them next wk, for his birthday get-together. I just have to figure out how to do it subtly, because I don't want to tell them all about him. They don't need the worries, and I don't need the inevitable recommendations for things we've already done, not to mention every magazine article they see.
If he were to have a reaction to the Imiprimene, I think he would have had an out-of-control meltdown long ago. But you never know.
I wish we could give him Clonidine every day but I'm not sure of the side effects, or if you can build up a tolerance to it. I will ask the psychiatric. (Plus, it makes him sleepy.)
I think anxiety is his main issue. The teachers and school advisors all think so, too. Again, I will address it with-the psychiatric.
Meanwhile, I'm running an ad at the local univ for an after-school helper.
considering that difficult child was staying up half the night on the computer, we figured out what the problem was. I should have been more clear on that. Aspies do not do well on very little sleep.
He is doing much better now.
So a trip to the psychiatric hospital is not necessary at this point.
I do have an appointment with-the psychiatrist for a medication tweak in 2 wks. We are going to review the blood draw for his Imiprimene.
In regard to bipolar, yes, there is always that possibility. I am going to grill his bmom and grandmother when I see them next wk, for his birthday get-together. I just have to figure out how to do it subtly, because I don't want to tell them all about him. They don't need the worries, and I don't need the inevitable recommendations for things we've already done, not to mention every magazine article they see.
If he were to have a reaction to the Imiprimene, I think he would have had an out-of-control meltdown long ago. But you never know.
I wish we could give him Clonidine every day but I'm not sure of the side effects, or if you can build up a tolerance to it. I will ask the psychiatric. (Plus, it makes him sleepy.)
I think anxiety is his main issue. The teachers and school advisors all think so, too. Again, I will address it with-the psychiatric.
Meanwhile, I'm running an ad at the local univ for an after-school helper.
TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Christy, I looked up his medication and found this, FYI:
Tofranil / Imipramine Side Effects Bipolar Medications Library
Tofranil - generic Imipramine - a tryciclic antidepressant sometimes prescribed in the treatment of bipolar disorder and other mood disorders.
Common Side Effects:
Check with your doctor if any of the following side effects continue or are bothersome: Dizziness; drowsiness; dryness of mouth; headache; increased appetite (may include craving for sweets); nausea; tiredness or weakness (mild); unpleasant taste; weight gain
Tofranil / Imipramine Side Effects Bipolar Medications Library
Tofranil - generic Imipramine - a tryciclic antidepressant sometimes prescribed in the treatment of bipolar disorder and other mood disorders.
Common Side Effects:
Check with your doctor if any of the following side effects continue or are bothersome: Dizziness; drowsiness; dryness of mouth; headache; increased appetite (may include craving for sweets); nausea; tiredness or weakness (mild); unpleasant taste; weight gain
