Hi LS, and welcome, though sorry you had to find us.
There are all kinds of RTFs out there, great, good, bad, and ugly. I think it's really important to visit as many as possible to get a feel for what is available.
Here's a list of questions to ask - just a starting point, definitely add more questions as they apply to your situation. One of my very best resources when we first started considering Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) for our son was the hospital social worker, who knew thank you extremely well due to his very frequent hospitalizations. She was able to steer me away from the ones with- bad reps or that catered more toward kids with- different kinds of issues.
You say "they" are talking about Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) - who are "they"? And how are you feeling about it - aside from devastated, which in my humble opinion is a totally reasonable way to feel - but what I mean is, do *you* feel that things have reached a point where Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) needs to be considered?
Again, welcome.