Been off the board for a long time but back for advice.
DS 15 is finally having serious issues with school after years of "he's fine when he's here" behavior that has made it tough to get him services at school.
At home it's another story of course. He's sunk deeply into believing he's powerless to change anything about his life, that only bad things happen to him and that it's OK to unleash his anger and disappointment on his family. That's on top of the mood swing and anxiety issues.
He's been hospitalized 3 times in the past 9 months with medication changes each time. These have been helpful and he's better in terms of mood swings. His migraines are gone thanks to Topomax.
But he's now sleeping 11-12 hours a day and refusing to go to school for more than 2 periods a day (out of 6). That's been going on since November. The past 2 weeks he has refused to even go for that shortened day 2 or 3 days. So I don't think it's very long before he's refusing to go at all.
We have an IEP as OHI because of his multiple disabling conditions. So far the school district has completely refused to do anything more than refer him for 26.5 services because his behavior at school is acceptable. He doesn't yell at anyone, doesn't throw things or act aggressively, he is polite as a general rule, and, up until now, has been making reasonable academic progress.
His behavior at home is confrontational and sometimes aggressive. If he decides we are depriving him of something he wants or should have he is more likely to get in our faces and get threatening than not. He has started breaking stuff like trash cans and throwing stuff around that's not really valuable but makes a big mess. Lots of drama.
He's clearly becoming more willing to get physical with us. His psychiatrist and my therapist (he won't see one) both recommend residential treatment and both say they think he would do well in RT.
We took his Xbox away 2 weeks ago after he went on a rampage, breaking stuff, throwing my art supplies on the floor, taking some of them, taking the modem so no one could use the computer, threatening to break the computer, and shoving me around. All because I had set the family timer on the Xbox to 2 hours.
We have no way to pay for RT without bankrupting our family and our health insurance doesn't cover it. We live in California and are under the impression that there is no money from school district/county mental health for RT as there has been in the past.
Because he has been "normal" at school, the school district has been completely unwilling to consider NPS or even an ED classroom or category for him - despite multiple letters from 2 different psychiatrists recommending it.
Well now he is still fine when he's at school - but he's not there.
At first this was blamed on a possible sleep disorder but that has now been ruled out. Same with medication side effects.
If you have any advice for me on how to find RT, how to pay for it (we are already mortgaged to the hilt to pay for his physical health care) and anything else you think would be useful - please share.
I am so sad and it has been a struggle to come to grips with the need for this but it is also very clear to me that, for this kind of intervention to be successful, it needs to happen now - not 2 years from now. And I don't want anyone to have to live with the consequences if he actually really hurts one of us, his twin sister or himself.
Thanks so much,
Patricia
DS 15 is finally having serious issues with school after years of "he's fine when he's here" behavior that has made it tough to get him services at school.
At home it's another story of course. He's sunk deeply into believing he's powerless to change anything about his life, that only bad things happen to him and that it's OK to unleash his anger and disappointment on his family. That's on top of the mood swing and anxiety issues.
He's been hospitalized 3 times in the past 9 months with medication changes each time. These have been helpful and he's better in terms of mood swings. His migraines are gone thanks to Topomax.
But he's now sleeping 11-12 hours a day and refusing to go to school for more than 2 periods a day (out of 6). That's been going on since November. The past 2 weeks he has refused to even go for that shortened day 2 or 3 days. So I don't think it's very long before he's refusing to go at all.
We have an IEP as OHI because of his multiple disabling conditions. So far the school district has completely refused to do anything more than refer him for 26.5 services because his behavior at school is acceptable. He doesn't yell at anyone, doesn't throw things or act aggressively, he is polite as a general rule, and, up until now, has been making reasonable academic progress.
His behavior at home is confrontational and sometimes aggressive. If he decides we are depriving him of something he wants or should have he is more likely to get in our faces and get threatening than not. He has started breaking stuff like trash cans and throwing stuff around that's not really valuable but makes a big mess. Lots of drama.
He's clearly becoming more willing to get physical with us. His psychiatrist and my therapist (he won't see one) both recommend residential treatment and both say they think he would do well in RT.
We took his Xbox away 2 weeks ago after he went on a rampage, breaking stuff, throwing my art supplies on the floor, taking some of them, taking the modem so no one could use the computer, threatening to break the computer, and shoving me around. All because I had set the family timer on the Xbox to 2 hours.
We have no way to pay for RT without bankrupting our family and our health insurance doesn't cover it. We live in California and are under the impression that there is no money from school district/county mental health for RT as there has been in the past.
Because he has been "normal" at school, the school district has been completely unwilling to consider NPS or even an ED classroom or category for him - despite multiple letters from 2 different psychiatrists recommending it.
Well now he is still fine when he's at school - but he's not there.
At first this was blamed on a possible sleep disorder but that has now been ruled out. Same with medication side effects.
If you have any advice for me on how to find RT, how to pay for it (we are already mortgaged to the hilt to pay for his physical health care) and anything else you think would be useful - please share.
I am so sad and it has been a struggle to come to grips with the need for this but it is also very clear to me that, for this kind of intervention to be successful, it needs to happen now - not 2 years from now. And I don't want anyone to have to live with the consequences if he actually really hurts one of us, his twin sister or himself.
Thanks so much,
Patricia
