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Rest easy........Christmas IS coming.
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 106873" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>I think honesty is the best policy. If your children believe in Santa (and I think they are both young enough to still believe), what would you have said to them Christmas morning when there were no gifts?</p><p></p><p>Now that you have removed all the decorations and told them you were "cancelling" Christmas, you are right; you do have to find a way to put it back and save face.</p><p></p><p>I think, as a parent, it is important to admit when we are wrong in front of our children. I also believe in telling my children I'm sorry, should that be justified.</p><p></p><p>So, perhaps you sit the boys down before anything gets out of hand this afternoon or first thing in the morning. Let the boys know that you are at your wit's end. The constant bickering and disrespect hurts you to the core. Ask them to remember back to when they fell and skinned their knee or, if it has happend, fallen and broken a bone. Ask them to remember the worst physical pain they can remember. Then tell them that that is what your heart feels like everytime they yell at you and yell at each other. Tell them that you were so fed up last night, that the worst thing you could think of was cancelling Christmas.</p><p></p><p>Let them know that you were thinking that perhaps you made a mistake. That Christmas is more than Christmas trees, wreaths on the door, parties and gifts. </p><p></p><p>Tell them that Christmas is a time of sharing love with family and friends and all three of you need that love. And one thing, more important than anything, is finding the giving within yourself. </p><p></p><p>So you have looked within your heart and realized you made a mistake. You are not cancelling Christmas and you are asking for a gift. The gift you want is a little understanding. Now the youngest is not going to get all this, but your oldest will.</p><p></p><p>As you go through the motions of reinstating Christmas, keep the emphasis on giving and loving. Even if you pull a quarter out of your wallet and give it to the homeless guy at the stoplight, do it in front of the boys. Give your friend a call (the Catholic one you mentioned) and find out what their church is doing for the needy this Christmas. Many churches adopt a family (out little church adopted four) in need. Perhaps you could participate with them. </p><p></p><p>If it's not in your budget to buy new, make an event after having the boys go with you to take their old winter coats to the Salvation Army or Goodwill. Ask the boys to search through their toys to find some they can take along with the coats so some other children can enjoy them. Perhaps the boys can make cards with construction paper for an elderly or lonely neighbor.</p><p></p><p>Come Christmas morning, take a molment as a family to reflect upon what Christmas means to you as a family. When my children were really young, they always sang Happy Birthday to Jesus before opening their gifts. Begin some new traditions as a family that you can look forward to next year. </p><p></p><p>Have an old fashioned taffy pull together on Christmas Eve. Watch "The Christmas Story" together on Christmas afternoon. Something that will bond and make Christmas special for you and your boys.</p><p></p><p>I think if you are honest with the boys about why you did what you did, you teach them a lesson. You teach them that we all so or do things when we are angry and mad. Sometimes those things don't look as good the next the day. It can be fixed. It teaches the boys honesty.</p><p></p><p>But it also gives you a little joy back and it gives them a little bit of their childhood back.</p><p></p><p>Good luck to you and, Merry Christmas!</p><p></p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 106873, member: 805"] I think honesty is the best policy. If your children believe in Santa (and I think they are both young enough to still believe), what would you have said to them Christmas morning when there were no gifts? Now that you have removed all the decorations and told them you were "cancelling" Christmas, you are right; you do have to find a way to put it back and save face. I think, as a parent, it is important to admit when we are wrong in front of our children. I also believe in telling my children I'm sorry, should that be justified. So, perhaps you sit the boys down before anything gets out of hand this afternoon or first thing in the morning. Let the boys know that you are at your wit's end. The constant bickering and disrespect hurts you to the core. Ask them to remember back to when they fell and skinned their knee or, if it has happend, fallen and broken a bone. Ask them to remember the worst physical pain they can remember. Then tell them that that is what your heart feels like everytime they yell at you and yell at each other. Tell them that you were so fed up last night, that the worst thing you could think of was cancelling Christmas. Let them know that you were thinking that perhaps you made a mistake. That Christmas is more than Christmas trees, wreaths on the door, parties and gifts. Tell them that Christmas is a time of sharing love with family and friends and all three of you need that love. And one thing, more important than anything, is finding the giving within yourself. So you have looked within your heart and realized you made a mistake. You are not cancelling Christmas and you are asking for a gift. The gift you want is a little understanding. Now the youngest is not going to get all this, but your oldest will. As you go through the motions of reinstating Christmas, keep the emphasis on giving and loving. Even if you pull a quarter out of your wallet and give it to the homeless guy at the stoplight, do it in front of the boys. Give your friend a call (the Catholic one you mentioned) and find out what their church is doing for the needy this Christmas. Many churches adopt a family (out little church adopted four) in need. Perhaps you could participate with them. If it's not in your budget to buy new, make an event after having the boys go with you to take their old winter coats to the Salvation Army or Goodwill. Ask the boys to search through their toys to find some they can take along with the coats so some other children can enjoy them. Perhaps the boys can make cards with construction paper for an elderly or lonely neighbor. Come Christmas morning, take a molment as a family to reflect upon what Christmas means to you as a family. When my children were really young, they always sang Happy Birthday to Jesus before opening their gifts. Begin some new traditions as a family that you can look forward to next year. Have an old fashioned taffy pull together on Christmas Eve. Watch "The Christmas Story" together on Christmas afternoon. Something that will bond and make Christmas special for you and your boys. I think if you are honest with the boys about why you did what you did, you teach them a lesson. You teach them that we all so or do things when we are angry and mad. Sometimes those things don't look as good the next the day. It can be fixed. It teaches the boys honesty. But it also gives you a little joy back and it gives them a little bit of their childhood back. Good luck to you and, Merry Christmas! Sharon [/QUOTE]
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