Shari
IsItFridayYet?
Actually, it wasn't a waste. I'm anxious to find out if the para with difficult child felt he was behaving normally or not, but he pretty much ignored me for the hour or so I was in the classroom with him.
And I saw the meltdown coming from a mile away.
He was in art with the "middle" para. One he gets along with really well, one sort of, and one not so much. He was with "sort of". There was no praise. I realize at first grade that's pretyt infantile, but we're talking about a kid who needs a 1:1 in the first place. He offered his crayon to another student who couldn't find hers, he helped pick up crayons when the box got dumped, several piddly things like that, he did the right thing and para said not a word.
He was struggling with his project and she jumped in to help him. Instead of asking, she took the pencil from him. He liked what she did, so it turned out ok, but I could see the initial frustration with that.
Then came the end of art. He was just finishing up his project. In art, if you finish early, you can do free drawing or "stations", and when the teacher gave the 5 minutes warning, and he started picking up the pace in orer to do free drawing. That was the first warning bell for me. He finished his project with 2 minutes of art left. Obviously not enough time to do much of a free drawing. Para let him start free drawing. He came to me and asked me to draw him a horse. That was the only time he acknowledged my presence. I drew the horse and he went back to his seat with less than a minute left, and it was clean up time. Para told him to clean up, and it started. He refused, went to get another pencil from the pencil box, she grabbed him and took the pencil from his hand and put it back, then physically walked him from the pencils back to his seat. Back at his seat, he refused to sit down, walked on past his table, threw the picture on the floor, and went to the corner behind the teacher's desk and sat down behind a planter thing with his knees to his chest and hands around his knees. Para followed and grabbed his hands and pulled him up and then it was over. The fight was on. She pulled him into the hall and was heading for the office with him, he was fighting and it was starting to get physical and I finally stepped in.
They still made him go to the office to his "safe spot" and he threw a big fit in there, but SpEd teacher and principal were also there by then and I was able to point out a few things to them that they thought made it not last as long.
But I think I coul dhave prevented the entire thing to begin with.
After that, SpEd teacher asked me to stay behind in the conference room until they were back in her room after recess. Back in her room, he was working with "sort of" para again. They had a math worksheet to do. He was not interacting with me, but wanted to sit on the floor near where I was sitting to do his paper, and "sort of" didn't think that was appropriate, so she made him move to a table, and it brought another mini-meltdown. This time, he dove under the table, and they left him alone. After a few minutes, he started singing, so the SpEd teacher set a timer and told him she thought since he was singing a nice song, he was probably ready to come work, so when the timer went off, he needed to come out and work. He came out in 15 seconds. Personally, when he started singing, I'd have jumped in and sang with him...got him engaged with me again, then brought him out to work, but either way, it worked without a complete meltdown.
So based on what I saw today, he doesn't like "sort of". He treats her like he treats my mother in law, who he doesn't like. And she doesn't work with him the best. At no point did she ever get on his level, give him positive feedback, make sure she had eye contact...heck, in the art room, he was sitting behind the teacher's desk...so what? Leave him.
I don't know if we are doing this again tomorrow or not, but I'd like to. I'd like to see if I'm jumping to conclusions or that's really it, but I think I could have avoided any meltdown today whatsoever.
It was interesting.
And I saw the meltdown coming from a mile away.
He was in art with the "middle" para. One he gets along with really well, one sort of, and one not so much. He was with "sort of". There was no praise. I realize at first grade that's pretyt infantile, but we're talking about a kid who needs a 1:1 in the first place. He offered his crayon to another student who couldn't find hers, he helped pick up crayons when the box got dumped, several piddly things like that, he did the right thing and para said not a word.
He was struggling with his project and she jumped in to help him. Instead of asking, she took the pencil from him. He liked what she did, so it turned out ok, but I could see the initial frustration with that.
Then came the end of art. He was just finishing up his project. In art, if you finish early, you can do free drawing or "stations", and when the teacher gave the 5 minutes warning, and he started picking up the pace in orer to do free drawing. That was the first warning bell for me. He finished his project with 2 minutes of art left. Obviously not enough time to do much of a free drawing. Para let him start free drawing. He came to me and asked me to draw him a horse. That was the only time he acknowledged my presence. I drew the horse and he went back to his seat with less than a minute left, and it was clean up time. Para told him to clean up, and it started. He refused, went to get another pencil from the pencil box, she grabbed him and took the pencil from his hand and put it back, then physically walked him from the pencils back to his seat. Back at his seat, he refused to sit down, walked on past his table, threw the picture on the floor, and went to the corner behind the teacher's desk and sat down behind a planter thing with his knees to his chest and hands around his knees. Para followed and grabbed his hands and pulled him up and then it was over. The fight was on. She pulled him into the hall and was heading for the office with him, he was fighting and it was starting to get physical and I finally stepped in.
They still made him go to the office to his "safe spot" and he threw a big fit in there, but SpEd teacher and principal were also there by then and I was able to point out a few things to them that they thought made it not last as long.
But I think I coul dhave prevented the entire thing to begin with.
After that, SpEd teacher asked me to stay behind in the conference room until they were back in her room after recess. Back in her room, he was working with "sort of" para again. They had a math worksheet to do. He was not interacting with me, but wanted to sit on the floor near where I was sitting to do his paper, and "sort of" didn't think that was appropriate, so she made him move to a table, and it brought another mini-meltdown. This time, he dove under the table, and they left him alone. After a few minutes, he started singing, so the SpEd teacher set a timer and told him she thought since he was singing a nice song, he was probably ready to come work, so when the timer went off, he needed to come out and work. He came out in 15 seconds. Personally, when he started singing, I'd have jumped in and sang with him...got him engaged with me again, then brought him out to work, but either way, it worked without a complete meltdown.
So based on what I saw today, he doesn't like "sort of". He treats her like he treats my mother in law, who he doesn't like. And she doesn't work with him the best. At no point did she ever get on his level, give him positive feedback, make sure she had eye contact...heck, in the art room, he was sitting behind the teacher's desk...so what? Leave him.
I don't know if we are doing this again tomorrow or not, but I'd like to. I'd like to see if I'm jumping to conclusions or that's really it, but I think I could have avoided any meltdown today whatsoever.
It was interesting.
