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General Parenting
Revisiting my thoughts on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 569057" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I understand how hard it is. I had to stop my job to care for my son....huge lifestyle change but we have one chance to be the parents we are meant to be right? When you say you didn't put it together or maybe didn't mention something to someone at certain times, I hope you know that I would think most of us would be the same way. Who would ever think that such a difficult kind of situation would happen? And yes, you have to prioritize and try to keep easy child safe etc. But not every child with these symptoms ends up doing terrible things. If his dad can get him into a supervised situation, which indeed he may need for life, at least he can have a life that allows him to reach his personal potential. It was hard for me to learn as I was meeting people and other parents with kids who had issues like mine, that not all kids do best in home situations where they are expected to function appropriately in a bonded family. Some kids actually thrive in a residential or school like situation because that bonding part is gone and the structure and behavioral safeguards are there....that is what the staff does 24/7. I'm not saying your step son will end up in a residential setting...just saying that is something that was really interesting to me. There is a well known woman here who has advocated for years for a home for children through 21 where they can just live, not move from foster home to foster home, not go to some temporary short or long term treatment center, but where they can live and receive therapy and supervision and reach their potential. She does this with a few kids herself, actually feels a calling for kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), (I wish I could remember her name...JO something....) and when I was new to this I thought, no way...try at least to get them a home. Now I think it is more loving to stay in contact, let them know you are still there, but give them the environment where they and others are safe. Of course I am not taking about some horrible institution, but a residence. </p><p>I really admire how you are facing this. I am sure you really care and so that makes things so very hard. Yes, poor difficult child probably had no chance once his first few years were so disrupted. I sure hope husband gets a clue that this is very very serious and he needs to get him intensive help very very quickly. And you are so right, resources are very limited. Sometimes nationally known Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) treatment centers can refer you to lesser known private therapists or doctors.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 569057, member: 12886"] I understand how hard it is. I had to stop my job to care for my son....huge lifestyle change but we have one chance to be the parents we are meant to be right? When you say you didn't put it together or maybe didn't mention something to someone at certain times, I hope you know that I would think most of us would be the same way. Who would ever think that such a difficult kind of situation would happen? And yes, you have to prioritize and try to keep easy child safe etc. But not every child with these symptoms ends up doing terrible things. If his dad can get him into a supervised situation, which indeed he may need for life, at least he can have a life that allows him to reach his personal potential. It was hard for me to learn as I was meeting people and other parents with kids who had issues like mine, that not all kids do best in home situations where they are expected to function appropriately in a bonded family. Some kids actually thrive in a residential or school like situation because that bonding part is gone and the structure and behavioral safeguards are there....that is what the staff does 24/7. I'm not saying your step son will end up in a residential setting...just saying that is something that was really interesting to me. There is a well known woman here who has advocated for years for a home for children through 21 where they can just live, not move from foster home to foster home, not go to some temporary short or long term treatment center, but where they can live and receive therapy and supervision and reach their potential. She does this with a few kids herself, actually feels a calling for kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), (I wish I could remember her name...JO something....) and when I was new to this I thought, no way...try at least to get them a home. Now I think it is more loving to stay in contact, let them know you are still there, but give them the environment where they and others are safe. Of course I am not taking about some horrible institution, but a residence. I really admire how you are facing this. I am sure you really care and so that makes things so very hard. Yes, poor difficult child probably had no chance once his first few years were so disrupted. I sure hope husband gets a clue that this is very very serious and he needs to get him intensive help very very quickly. And you are so right, resources are very limited. Sometimes nationally known Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) treatment centers can refer you to lesser known private therapists or doctors. [/QUOTE]
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