This new therapist (has been coming to the house 4 times now) is really insisting on a reward system. Ponpons in a jar. Every time I (or therapist during the session) see the kids behave in a good manner, they get a ponpon. I told him that we went down this road before (with stickers) and it was a disaster! V was obsessing over the stickers and it created so much anxiety that we stopped. So dear therapist decides to try during the session tonight and see for himself. Guess what happened? V was all about getting those ponpons and it got worse by the minute. He could not even play anymore toward the end. therapist had to go behind the kids' backs and put more ponpons in the jar in order to reach the red line and give them a small prize. I was wondering how he was going to deal with this "minor" detail: the fact that there was not enough good behaviors to reach the line. Although I have to say that the boys were NOT misbehaving. V just has a hard time playing cooperatively... therapist saw that it was not a success but told me that, at first, kids are all about getting a ponpon. It is normal. I replied that the problem is that V is only going to obsess more over time. It is unlikely to get better... but what do I know? So after talking with husband over the phone, I thought well let's try and see what happens after a few days. Right? Let's be open minded or prove the therapist wrong. It's like I'm teaching the therapist instead of my son. But then... one never knows. I could be wrong, it could work. (don't really believe that. just keep reading). I find a jar in the kitchen and some flat marbles that we had for decoration purposes. Tell the kids that we'll use this as I don't really want to buy anything. As I draw the line on the small jar (so that few marbles are required to get a small prize), V gets VERY anxious about the whole thing. What if we lose the marbles before putting it in the jar? What if the prize is not what he wants? What if they don't make it to the line? etc... I tried to tell him not to worry and put them all to bed. Now, as I am typing, V came in the office saying he can't sleep. What if he is being good and I don't see him? What if he is being good at school, then I can't give him a marble? And on and on. I ended up telling him that if it worries him too much, we don't have to do the reward system. V break in tears and tells me he can't deal with this change. Now I want to cry! My poor little V tries so hard to behave and he does!! I am SO proud of him. At school he rarely pull a card for misbehaving. He gives his best and when he does not do the work it's because he's having an off day, not because he is not behaving. Same at home. I can't believe I let this therapist go this far and actually make V cry!!! I am pi$$ed. husband will be home next week and he wants to have a talk with therapist! That is a rare thing for husband to actually get involved with V's therapists. He listens to what I relay but let things up to me. He is gone too much so he simply trusts me. If I ask him to be there for certain appointments, he will be there. But we simply can't afford to stop the busisness too often. Either this therapist has to change his approach or he is out the door. I know he wants to help but the whole behavioral approach is not approriate for V.