...discouraging rewards for behaviors.
Key word is
behaviors.
I don't reward my kids for saying please and thank you, or for doing chores or getting out of bed on time to get to school, and so on. Those are behaviors.
Rewards are the result of accomplishment. We need to define accomplishment according to the ability of the child, but accomplishment needs to be acknowledged and rewarded in some way. But for our family? We believe in logical consequences... for ANY outcome.
Doing extremely well in band class may result in the reward of an upgraded instrument.
Top of the class in English? Reward is the option to challenge the advanced class next year.
Good solid grades - as in, "meeting expectations according to ability" - means you get more options about what classes you take, etc.
Doing well in Home Easy Child. means you get to pursue sewing and/or cooking as an independent hobby.
Doling out money, or a trip, or other tangible bauble, for "getting good grades"? My parents did that. And it failed miserably. My bro got poor marks - because he had a bad run of teachers (yes, it's true), who couldn't stand that he was smarter than they were, and consistently created ways to trip him up so he couldn't get good grades. I put in little effort, picked classes that were easy for me (no challenges at ALL), and had good luck with teachers... and always got "rewarded". What was I really getting rewarded for? Knowing how to play the "game" of getting goodmarks at school. Not what was intended...
