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Ritalin and impulse control
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<blockquote data-quote="pepperidge" data-source="post: 540608" data-attributes="member: 2322"><p>Hi malika,</p><p></p><p>My son's best features are his sociability, his 'coachability" and his willingness to try new experiences. As for the sociabiilty, it is a bit of a mixed blessing because he wants to be around kids all the time but he doesn't really have good friends. He is not shunned, but it is like no one really wants him. He has general social skills but I think it is the impulsivity that gets in the way. When he was in first and second grade he would often get in trouble during unstructured time--couldn't keep his hands to himself when he was in line kind of things. Eventually other kids get tired of that sort of thing, and the ones who don't are not really the ones you want to have as friends. He was physcial during play--not mean or aggressive. But he had these show off kind of tendencies rather than cooperative play so I think he scared kids (and their mothers!). Ever since we moved (when he was in first grade) he lost his one friend that he played with alot and I think he has been lonely. As he has gotten to be a teenager, there is this competivitive boy culture (not very supportive) and I sense that he has not really been able to find his place socially in school. He has gotten more agumentative and irritable (maybe is typical teen, I wouldn't know lol) which doesn't help on the friend front. The downside of the sociability is that he will do just about anything to try to fit in with friends so he has become a bit of the class clown.</p><p></p><p>He is very coachable. He loves hanging around with male figures who encourage him and provide a little bit of the male rough and tumble type stuff. His coaches have all praised him as him wanting to listen and try to take on board advice. We have gone out of our way to surround him with good role models. he has had a twenty something really terrific athetic trainer, a counselor at schoo, a couple of sports coaches. Sometimes parents have trouble taking the really positive attitude. But my son just eats up that kind positive support--right now he is really into identifying with men so that's what we are going for.</p><p></p><p>He also has a kind of joie de vivre, willingness to try new things. My other son will say no to everything but my youngest is willing to try new things, go to camp where he doesn't know the kids etc..</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately the happy go lucky kind of kid he was when he was young is slowly being eroded by the constant negative messaging of some of the teachers he has had, his parents frustration when he was younger of the stupid things he would do etc. We are really trying to work on that.</p><p></p><p>As far as intellectually his neuropsychologist testing showed that he has a pretty average IQ. He did better in school when he was younger, as the material gets more complex and abstract it gets harder. He can focus on school work pretty well and wasn't off the charts in terms of hyperactivity. But he is a physical kid. A lot of whether he focuses depends on his mental state etc. I think one of the points about ADHD is that kids can focus but that it requires a whole lot of effort. We don't have much luck with getting him to do a lot of homework after school as he has used up his mental energy for the day. In general he wants to do well in school and will do his work, but as things get harder he seems to be having more trouble remaining on task.</p><p></p><p>We did see some results with Abilify. We tried a form of Ritalin when he was younger but it seemed to increase his tendency to perseverate which wasn't helpful. He tried Concerta when he was in 7th grade and getting into minor trouble all the time at school and it was helpful. We just discontinued it because we weren't really sure it was helping anymore. </p><p></p><p>WE are in the process of looking for other educational options for him--one that understands the needs of boys to really affiliate with good adult role models and with a substantial physical component to the schooling, and one that tries to focus on the positives of a kid like my son.</p><p></p><p>I would be a little leery of Waldorf, my impression of the one I knew something about was that it was more gentle arts type of kids. I just don't think it would have appealed to my son. He wants to be out in the woods learning survival skillls.</p><p></p><p>I feel for you dealing with the French system--my impression have worked with a number of French people is that they have very clear ideas of what is right and wrong and I don't know how they deal with kids that don't fit the mold.</p><p></p><p>I understand your frustration--it would be so useful to have a clear idea of what's wrong and how you can fix it. I am very glad that I took a lot of time to research different medications etc--it meant I could have intelligent talks with the psychiatrists and was better placed to recognize negative side effects (which docs tend to poo poo). As time as gone on, i spend less time loooking at dxes and more time trying to find people and educational options that will interact positively with my kids. That's where I think we will see the biggest returns.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pepperidge, post: 540608, member: 2322"] Hi malika, My son's best features are his sociability, his 'coachability" and his willingness to try new experiences. As for the sociabiilty, it is a bit of a mixed blessing because he wants to be around kids all the time but he doesn't really have good friends. He is not shunned, but it is like no one really wants him. He has general social skills but I think it is the impulsivity that gets in the way. When he was in first and second grade he would often get in trouble during unstructured time--couldn't keep his hands to himself when he was in line kind of things. Eventually other kids get tired of that sort of thing, and the ones who don't are not really the ones you want to have as friends. He was physcial during play--not mean or aggressive. But he had these show off kind of tendencies rather than cooperative play so I think he scared kids (and their mothers!). Ever since we moved (when he was in first grade) he lost his one friend that he played with alot and I think he has been lonely. As he has gotten to be a teenager, there is this competivitive boy culture (not very supportive) and I sense that he has not really been able to find his place socially in school. He has gotten more agumentative and irritable (maybe is typical teen, I wouldn't know lol) which doesn't help on the friend front. The downside of the sociability is that he will do just about anything to try to fit in with friends so he has become a bit of the class clown. He is very coachable. He loves hanging around with male figures who encourage him and provide a little bit of the male rough and tumble type stuff. His coaches have all praised him as him wanting to listen and try to take on board advice. We have gone out of our way to surround him with good role models. he has had a twenty something really terrific athetic trainer, a counselor at schoo, a couple of sports coaches. Sometimes parents have trouble taking the really positive attitude. But my son just eats up that kind positive support--right now he is really into identifying with men so that's what we are going for. He also has a kind of joie de vivre, willingness to try new things. My other son will say no to everything but my youngest is willing to try new things, go to camp where he doesn't know the kids etc.. Unfortunately the happy go lucky kind of kid he was when he was young is slowly being eroded by the constant negative messaging of some of the teachers he has had, his parents frustration when he was younger of the stupid things he would do etc. We are really trying to work on that. As far as intellectually his neuropsychologist testing showed that he has a pretty average IQ. He did better in school when he was younger, as the material gets more complex and abstract it gets harder. He can focus on school work pretty well and wasn't off the charts in terms of hyperactivity. But he is a physical kid. A lot of whether he focuses depends on his mental state etc. I think one of the points about ADHD is that kids can focus but that it requires a whole lot of effort. We don't have much luck with getting him to do a lot of homework after school as he has used up his mental energy for the day. In general he wants to do well in school and will do his work, but as things get harder he seems to be having more trouble remaining on task. We did see some results with Abilify. We tried a form of Ritalin when he was younger but it seemed to increase his tendency to perseverate which wasn't helpful. He tried Concerta when he was in 7th grade and getting into minor trouble all the time at school and it was helpful. We just discontinued it because we weren't really sure it was helping anymore. WE are in the process of looking for other educational options for him--one that understands the needs of boys to really affiliate with good adult role models and with a substantial physical component to the schooling, and one that tries to focus on the positives of a kid like my son. I would be a little leery of Waldorf, my impression of the one I knew something about was that it was more gentle arts type of kids. I just don't think it would have appealed to my son. He wants to be out in the woods learning survival skillls. I feel for you dealing with the French system--my impression have worked with a number of French people is that they have very clear ideas of what is right and wrong and I don't know how they deal with kids that don't fit the mold. I understand your frustration--it would be so useful to have a clear idea of what's wrong and how you can fix it. I am very glad that I took a lot of time to research different medications etc--it meant I could have intelligent talks with the psychiatrists and was better placed to recognize negative side effects (which docs tend to poo poo). As time as gone on, i spend less time loooking at dxes and more time trying to find people and educational options that will interact positively with my kids. That's where I think we will see the biggest returns. [/QUOTE]
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