A
AmericanGirl
Guest
difficult child has been doing well according to the sober house owners. He has a job which he has kept for about a month, although he is only working 15-20 hours a week. He has paid the last two weeks rent but is a week behind. They told him they are willing to work with him on that. Of course, they know I have agreed to pay if difficult child doesn't.
He changed his sponsor two weeks ago. The old one has some issues so that's likely a good thing. He mentions a lot of hard times but won't ever go into detail. This only throws me back on the roller coaster. So, I've told him if he doesn't want to tell me why he is upset then, he doesn't need to mention it to me.
The sober house is 90 miles from me. I go near there once a week. The last two weeks, difficult child hasn't wanted to meet me. No reasons why. My al-anon sponsor (who has known difficult child since he was about 8) says he is likely dealing with guilt/shame.
difficult child decided to come see me yesterday. He stayed 45 minutes. Said he was leaving to visit a family who helped him after his relapse, to go to a meeting, and then to stay the night with a friend and her family. He has an overnight pass from the sober house.
Lies. I tracked his cell. He went to see his old playmate (the worst one) and stayed two hours. Then he drove around aimlessly, stopping to park in various gas station parking lots. Then he went to the old friend's house. At 10pm he went to another old playmates house and stayed until 1:30 when I went to sleep. He was back at the friend's house this morning.
Trouble is - I got caught up in his movements. I went to find a Celebrate Recovery meeting last night ( was trying not to stay home alone and go totally insane). Stopped to do an errand before and saw his phone was close to me. I saw him park in a gas station, sit there a few minutes, then move his car to another parking lot, sit there a bit and leave. I have no clue what he was doing....maybe killing time until he could go to the friends? He didn't get out or talk to anyone.
All this leaves me:
1. VERY fearful. It's just fear of what is coming next and of having to deal with it all by myself.
2. ANGRY. I'm so tried of the lies. He's 19 and should be working more than he is. I'm hurt than he won't stay here more than 45 minutes but will go see these idiots for hours and hours.
Finally, last week I went to see the DA with difficult child's blessing. difficult child was subpenaed to testify in two assault cases that happened when he relapsed. He went one but case was continued. Huge fight in parking lot outside courthouse. One defendant chased us to gas station, yelling, insults, etc.
Frankly, I thought difficult child didn't need near these fools. Also, I never believed difficult child (or any of them) were reliable as they were all likely high/drunk. The DA agreed and will not call him. difficult child was very happy. YET....the guy he was supposed to testify for is the fool he went to see when he left my house yesterday.
None of this makes any sense to me...then again, I'm not an addict.
I just have got to find a way off the roller coaster. Will feel better when difficult child gets back to the sober house this evening.
He changed his sponsor two weeks ago. The old one has some issues so that's likely a good thing. He mentions a lot of hard times but won't ever go into detail. This only throws me back on the roller coaster. So, I've told him if he doesn't want to tell me why he is upset then, he doesn't need to mention it to me.
The sober house is 90 miles from me. I go near there once a week. The last two weeks, difficult child hasn't wanted to meet me. No reasons why. My al-anon sponsor (who has known difficult child since he was about 8) says he is likely dealing with guilt/shame.
difficult child decided to come see me yesterday. He stayed 45 minutes. Said he was leaving to visit a family who helped him after his relapse, to go to a meeting, and then to stay the night with a friend and her family. He has an overnight pass from the sober house.
Lies. I tracked his cell. He went to see his old playmate (the worst one) and stayed two hours. Then he drove around aimlessly, stopping to park in various gas station parking lots. Then he went to the old friend's house. At 10pm he went to another old playmates house and stayed until 1:30 when I went to sleep. He was back at the friend's house this morning.
Trouble is - I got caught up in his movements. I went to find a Celebrate Recovery meeting last night ( was trying not to stay home alone and go totally insane). Stopped to do an errand before and saw his phone was close to me. I saw him park in a gas station, sit there a few minutes, then move his car to another parking lot, sit there a bit and leave. I have no clue what he was doing....maybe killing time until he could go to the friends? He didn't get out or talk to anyone.
All this leaves me:
1. VERY fearful. It's just fear of what is coming next and of having to deal with it all by myself.
2. ANGRY. I'm so tried of the lies. He's 19 and should be working more than he is. I'm hurt than he won't stay here more than 45 minutes but will go see these idiots for hours and hours.
Finally, last week I went to see the DA with difficult child's blessing. difficult child was subpenaed to testify in two assault cases that happened when he relapsed. He went one but case was continued. Huge fight in parking lot outside courthouse. One defendant chased us to gas station, yelling, insults, etc.
Frankly, I thought difficult child didn't need near these fools. Also, I never believed difficult child (or any of them) were reliable as they were all likely high/drunk. The DA agreed and will not call him. difficult child was very happy. YET....the guy he was supposed to testify for is the fool he went to see when he left my house yesterday.
None of this makes any sense to me...then again, I'm not an addict.
I just have got to find a way off the roller coaster. Will feel better when difficult child gets back to the sober house this evening.
