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General Parenting
rough evening...
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 540954" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>ksm</p><p></p><p>Reminds me of classic borderline behavior, and that is saying something as I don't know the back story..........I just recognize the arguments and such to some degree, especially the raging and then not remembering what she did/said. My Nichole did that. For a longish time I thought the not remembering was an act......I can't recall now what convinced me she really couldn't remember on her own.......but I finally would wait until she was calm and then I'd walk her through the "conversation" again...when she'd say she didn't remember......I'd ask her what she remembered happening at that moment. It was interesting to get her version, as with bordline they tend to have a warped sense of reality going on. Doing this let me go over it again with what really happened.......and over time, she slowly began to see that when she was angry and raged her perceptions of what was going on often had nothing to do with what was really being said and done. </p><p></p><p>I also made a deal with her therapist (actually it was the only way I'd let her see one, and you DO have this right although they'll try to tell you that you don't) that I sat in on sessions. Now I knew if I sat in on the whole thing we'd get nowhere fast (cuz who is honest with mom around) so therapist and I agreed that she got Nichole alone for the first half hour, I was not privy to what went on during that time unless therapist thought it important I know. The last half hour I sat in on and filled the therapist in on what had happened since the last appointment......which let me fill her in on things Nichole didn't think to tell her or she wanted to leave out. It gave the therapist a much more realistic view of what was really going on in much more depth than she would've had otherwise. And it worked wonderfully for Nichole, she progressed very well that way. </p><p></p><p>Like I said, I don't know the background, but if you haven't read up on borderline......you might want to see if it rings familiar with difficult child's behavior.</p><p></p><p>And for the record........I love Parmesan cheese, but think it smells like someone tossed their cookies. LOL </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 540954, member: 84"] ksm Reminds me of classic borderline behavior, and that is saying something as I don't know the back story..........I just recognize the arguments and such to some degree, especially the raging and then not remembering what she did/said. My Nichole did that. For a longish time I thought the not remembering was an act......I can't recall now what convinced me she really couldn't remember on her own.......but I finally would wait until she was calm and then I'd walk her through the "conversation" again...when she'd say she didn't remember......I'd ask her what she remembered happening at that moment. It was interesting to get her version, as with bordline they tend to have a warped sense of reality going on. Doing this let me go over it again with what really happened.......and over time, she slowly began to see that when she was angry and raged her perceptions of what was going on often had nothing to do with what was really being said and done. I also made a deal with her therapist (actually it was the only way I'd let her see one, and you DO have this right although they'll try to tell you that you don't) that I sat in on sessions. Now I knew if I sat in on the whole thing we'd get nowhere fast (cuz who is honest with mom around) so therapist and I agreed that she got Nichole alone for the first half hour, I was not privy to what went on during that time unless therapist thought it important I know. The last half hour I sat in on and filled the therapist in on what had happened since the last appointment......which let me fill her in on things Nichole didn't think to tell her or she wanted to leave out. It gave the therapist a much more realistic view of what was really going on in much more depth than she would've had otherwise. And it worked wonderfully for Nichole, she progressed very well that way. Like I said, I don't know the background, but if you haven't read up on borderline......you might want to see if it rings familiar with difficult child's behavior. And for the record........I love Parmesan cheese, but think it smells like someone tossed their cookies. LOL Hugs [/QUOTE]
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