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Rough night
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 630550" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Ya know, if (when?) my difficult child told me she was moving out, I wouldn't take it as a threat.. I'd take it as a victory <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> But I know you're hurting - I don't mean to make light of that part.</p><p></p><p>As I read your post, and the parts about all the prodding you give her about jobs, how/where to apply, asking people if they're hiring and letting her know, following up with asking her about them, my own therapist's advice came to mind: "You're working harder than she is." I've been there, and it's exhausting, I know. And logically, it makes no sense. All this work we do trying to "help" them is not appreciated, not wanted, not even acted upon. It's such wasted energy when a difficult child isn't invested in the process themselves. So when we get to that point, it's time to take a giant step back.</p><p></p><p>I have to agree that it sounds like it's time for her too move.. an ultimatum with a firm deadline. But you have to be ready to live with that ultimatum, and follow through on it. </p><p></p><p>It's not easy, I know. Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 630550, member: 1157"] Ya know, if (when?) my difficult child told me she was moving out, I wouldn't take it as a threat.. I'd take it as a victory :) But I know you're hurting - I don't mean to make light of that part. As I read your post, and the parts about all the prodding you give her about jobs, how/where to apply, asking people if they're hiring and letting her know, following up with asking her about them, my own therapist's advice came to mind: "You're working harder than she is." I've been there, and it's exhausting, I know. And logically, it makes no sense. All this work we do trying to "help" them is not appreciated, not wanted, not even acted upon. It's such wasted energy when a difficult child isn't invested in the process themselves. So when we get to that point, it's time to take a giant step back. I have to agree that it sounds like it's time for her too move.. an ultimatum with a firm deadline. But you have to be ready to live with that ultimatum, and follow through on it. It's not easy, I know. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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