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<blockquote data-quote="Ktllc" data-source="post: 519871" data-attributes="member: 11847"><p>Ok, just to add to the debate about the teacher's comment: I would most definitly say some like that to my child. "if Dad (or whoever) let's you do that, fine. But don't you think you'll do it with me". In my (French) mind, it basically means I don't care whatever rule others use, mine is what it is and you will respect it".</p><p>Those sorts of comments are actually pretty typical in FFrance: I have heard it MANY times as a kid. </p><p>I realy think that there is a BIG cultural gap between Malika's ways and the village's ways. Add to that a non-typical child, aand you've got you hands full.</p><p>I would say, for me, the cultural gap is easier because I'm French in the US (not the other way around). A lot of things husband finds acceptable, I don't. If he is in charge at that point, I try to bite my tongue. But if I am in charge, the kids will go by my rules. I don't know if it is making any sense for you guys... </p><p>Which method is better or worse will be for debate for many years to come yet!</p><p>But just to be honest, I do have adapt my "french" expectations with V. If I had my ways all the time, I say things once and it happens or else big consequence. With V, I have to patiently repeat things over and over, but he is still expected to follow through with my help. He will do his chores, but with my constant reminders. On the other hand, Partner is expected to do them promptly, the right way and with no fuss. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>If it makes it any easier Malika, remember that J is raised the French way by the whole village. What shocks you might not be all that shocking for him. Just like it is not shocking for me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ktllc, post: 519871, member: 11847"] Ok, just to add to the debate about the teacher's comment: I would most definitly say some like that to my child. "if Dad (or whoever) let's you do that, fine. But don't you think you'll do it with me". In my (French) mind, it basically means I don't care whatever rule others use, mine is what it is and you will respect it". Those sorts of comments are actually pretty typical in FFrance: I have heard it MANY times as a kid. I realy think that there is a BIG cultural gap between Malika's ways and the village's ways. Add to that a non-typical child, aand you've got you hands full. I would say, for me, the cultural gap is easier because I'm French in the US (not the other way around). A lot of things husband finds acceptable, I don't. If he is in charge at that point, I try to bite my tongue. But if I am in charge, the kids will go by my rules. I don't know if it is making any sense for you guys... Which method is better or worse will be for debate for many years to come yet! But just to be honest, I do have adapt my "french" expectations with V. If I had my ways all the time, I say things once and it happens or else big consequence. With V, I have to patiently repeat things over and over, but he is still expected to follow through with my help. He will do his chores, but with my constant reminders. On the other hand, Partner is expected to do them promptly, the right way and with no fuss. :) If it makes it any easier Malika, remember that J is raised the French way by the whole village. What shocks you might not be all that shocking for him. Just like it is not shocking for me. [/QUOTE]
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