Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Running on Empty
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 730512" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hello Nature, it is good to “see” you again, but I am so sorry for your need to be here. First of all, please do not chastise yourself for being in your situation. We are ordinary folks in not so ordinary circumstances. Don’t be hard on yourself.</p><p></p><p>Is it economics, or choice. That’s the big question. Ugh. My Rain has lived in parks for as long as I know, three years now. Her drug of choice is meth.I have not seen her for awhile, last time she came to the house and unceremoniously dumped two tires here, a cooler full of junk. Called and told her sister she was going to come get it, but never did. I took it to the dump yesterday, the man there wanted the tires for aluminum scrap. That is how they get by, recycling cans and bottles, dumpster diving and Lord only knows what else. I have had to work real hard to guard my heart. It is strange when I do see her. I am glad she is alive, but there is this invisible wall between us. </p><p> What is a mother to do? I don’t think it is weakness Nature, to be kind and check up, bring groceries. My son in law was reaching out to Rain and did the same. </p><p>That must have been hard and scary.</p><p></p><p>Oh my, that’s a heart breaking thing to see. I am sorry Nature.</p><p> I understand your fear and concern. Living in Hawaii, I wonder how my two are faring when the weather turns. It is not as drastic as your winters, I imagine I would probably feel the same in your shoes.</p><p></p><p>Ugh. I could write the book on this one. It is so frustrating Nature, to offer help and not see any movement on their part.</p><p>Well then. Sometimes we just fall into it, don’t we? I am certain you will find your way through this.Take it one day at a time and figure out a plan. </p><p>The pattern and consequences. Asking for money. There is always some “valid” reason to draw us in.</p><p>Sigh.</p><p>This is all so hard, Nature. We never in a million years expected our kids to be where they are at. Seeing them in the state they are in, is so very difficult on our hearts. I have not seen Tornado in quite some time. I have two of my three grands over for spring break. They are living with their paternal grandparents. Stability. </p><p>They have been abandoned by both parents for meth.</p><p>I used to feel so angry and sad. I have found that praying and trying to be steady state has helped to keep me more level headed. I didn’t think I would ever get there, and must work at it constantly, because I know at anytime things could change and I would be drawn right back to the swirly whirly of it all. I will be 59 this summer and know I cannot handle the stress of going down that rabbit hole. It is too much, mentally, physically and spiritually. I don’t want to take the consequences of their choices as my own. That’s what it eventually amounts to. I pray for them and hope one day they will find their light. I just know I am not the one to “guide” them there. I can’t fix them. They don’t want to be fixed. They just want a comfie place to be while they continue as is. I am just an opportunity for them. Someone to take advantage of. </p><p>I won’t be their rug. </p><p></p><p>You will get there, Nature. You have already taken the first step by recognizing that this is not a good situation for you, or for your son. Take a deep breath and be kind to yourself. Then get to work building up your strength and switching your focus. You got this Nature and we are circling the wagons for you.</p><p>Sending big, gentle, understanding hugs your way.</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 730512, member: 19522"] Hello Nature, it is good to “see” you again, but I am so sorry for your need to be here. First of all, please do not chastise yourself for being in your situation. We are ordinary folks in not so ordinary circumstances. Don’t be hard on yourself. Is it economics, or choice. That’s the big question. Ugh. My Rain has lived in parks for as long as I know, three years now. Her drug of choice is meth.I have not seen her for awhile, last time she came to the house and unceremoniously dumped two tires here, a cooler full of junk. Called and told her sister she was going to come get it, but never did. I took it to the dump yesterday, the man there wanted the tires for aluminum scrap. That is how they get by, recycling cans and bottles, dumpster diving and Lord only knows what else. I have had to work real hard to guard my heart. It is strange when I do see her. I am glad she is alive, but there is this invisible wall between us. What is a mother to do? I don’t think it is weakness Nature, to be kind and check up, bring groceries. My son in law was reaching out to Rain and did the same. That must have been hard and scary. Oh my, that’s a heart breaking thing to see. I am sorry Nature. I understand your fear and concern. Living in Hawaii, I wonder how my two are faring when the weather turns. It is not as drastic as your winters, I imagine I would probably feel the same in your shoes. Ugh. I could write the book on this one. It is so frustrating Nature, to offer help and not see any movement on their part. Well then. Sometimes we just fall into it, don’t we? I am certain you will find your way through this.Take it one day at a time and figure out a plan. The pattern and consequences. Asking for money. There is always some “valid” reason to draw us in. Sigh. This is all so hard, Nature. We never in a million years expected our kids to be where they are at. Seeing them in the state they are in, is so very difficult on our hearts. I have not seen Tornado in quite some time. I have two of my three grands over for spring break. They are living with their paternal grandparents. Stability. They have been abandoned by both parents for meth. I used to feel so angry and sad. I have found that praying and trying to be steady state has helped to keep me more level headed. I didn’t think I would ever get there, and must work at it constantly, because I know at anytime things could change and I would be drawn right back to the swirly whirly of it all. I will be 59 this summer and know I cannot handle the stress of going down that rabbit hole. It is too much, mentally, physically and spiritually. I don’t want to take the consequences of their choices as my own. That’s what it eventually amounts to. I pray for them and hope one day they will find their light. I just know I am not the one to “guide” them there. I can’t fix them. They don’t want to be fixed. They just want a comfie place to be while they continue as is. I am just an opportunity for them. Someone to take advantage of. I won’t be their rug. You will get there, Nature. You have already taken the first step by recognizing that this is not a good situation for you, or for your son. Take a deep breath and be kind to yourself. Then get to work building up your strength and switching your focus. You got this Nature and we are circling the wagons for you. Sending big, gentle, understanding hugs your way. Leafy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Running on Empty
Top