Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
I agree with Janet. Except that I also happen to believe that a disabled child (like Travis) should be held to the same standard as much as possible. Discipline doesn't always mean time outs and spankings. As parents of difficult children a parent has to get creative, know their child, and figure out what works best for them in whatever situation it happens to be. This can be a process that takes a while. Or you may think you have it down, then suddenly it no longer works and so you have to change it up a bit.
We also have to remember praise. But praise should also be earned. Grandson Brandon is having quite a time with sibling rivalry right now. Baby Connor is now able to move and get to his toys. Now Brandon adored Connor before the whole moving thing started. So it's been one big fit after another with him trying to hurt the baby (because he doesn't know he really can hurt the baby) and take everything away from the baby. So....easy child started trying to make him share. That didn't go over well at all and he was being punished a lot. Then she and I both made sure that whatever nice thing he did for the baby.....we praised him for it and told him what a big boy he was. Reinforce the good, punish the bad. It's taken a few weeks but he's catching on to this whole sharing thing. He's still not sure he likes it, but he will at least do it now without a major tantrum.
I rarely spanked. It was reserved for serious offenses only. Time out was used as long as it was effective. But honestly, it wasn't effective for everything. Any punishment used too much loses it's impact, used without praise of good behavior..... well, my mom used the same punishment for everything, the woman didn't know what praise was, and I think most of us were about 7 when we stopped paying much attention to her.
Travis under age 5 was exhausting, to put it mildly. I actually had to watch him like a hawk for things I could praise him for or his days would've been filled with nothing but punishment. And it reminded me that not everything he did was bad, it just seemed like it sometimes, which let me be more affectionate with him. (cuz let's face it, it can be hard to feel like hugging someone you've done nothing but put in time out ect all day long for the same offenses over and over again)
But bottom line is cause and effect. It's how the whole world works. Sooner they learn that, the better off they are.
Malika, all the things you mentioned are forms of disciplining a child. I've used every one of them, along with many more I came up with myself that suited the situation.
It sort of worries me when a person says discipline / punishment these days and many young people automatically take it as spanking ect......so avoid any real discipline at all.
Bottom line is you have to strike a balance, consistency that rules ect are followed, consequences that fit the situation, and praise for good behavior.
We also have to remember praise. But praise should also be earned. Grandson Brandon is having quite a time with sibling rivalry right now. Baby Connor is now able to move and get to his toys. Now Brandon adored Connor before the whole moving thing started. So it's been one big fit after another with him trying to hurt the baby (because he doesn't know he really can hurt the baby) and take everything away from the baby. So....easy child started trying to make him share. That didn't go over well at all and he was being punished a lot. Then she and I both made sure that whatever nice thing he did for the baby.....we praised him for it and told him what a big boy he was. Reinforce the good, punish the bad. It's taken a few weeks but he's catching on to this whole sharing thing. He's still not sure he likes it, but he will at least do it now without a major tantrum.
I rarely spanked. It was reserved for serious offenses only. Time out was used as long as it was effective. But honestly, it wasn't effective for everything. Any punishment used too much loses it's impact, used without praise of good behavior..... well, my mom used the same punishment for everything, the woman didn't know what praise was, and I think most of us were about 7 when we stopped paying much attention to her.
Travis under age 5 was exhausting, to put it mildly. I actually had to watch him like a hawk for things I could praise him for or his days would've been filled with nothing but punishment. And it reminded me that not everything he did was bad, it just seemed like it sometimes, which let me be more affectionate with him. (cuz let's face it, it can be hard to feel like hugging someone you've done nothing but put in time out ect all day long for the same offenses over and over again)
But bottom line is cause and effect. It's how the whole world works. Sooner they learn that, the better off they are.
Malika, all the things you mentioned are forms of disciplining a child. I've used every one of them, along with many more I came up with myself that suited the situation.
It sort of worries me when a person says discipline / punishment these days and many young people automatically take it as spanking ect......so avoid any real discipline at all.
Bottom line is you have to strike a balance, consistency that rules ect are followed, consequences that fit the situation, and praise for good behavior.