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Running out of ideas for punishments that Work for 5 year old
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 467334" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>My basic rule of thumb these days with child rearing (speaking just for myself, of course <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />) is: if it doesn't work, give it up. Punishment has no effect on my son. It makes him depressed (I think), low in self-esteem and doesn't change his behaviour. So I never punish him - not that I was particularly philosophically inclined that way anyway. Of course I do get cross with him, and I do tell him when his behaviour is inappropriate. He does take notice of this (the fifth time if not the first, lol). I also explain things to him. Ask him to do things respectfully. Oh - and the BIG thing I do with him, which has more effect than anything else, is that I give him LOTS of praise and encouragement (as Keista says below). I remind myself all the time that I just make just a big a deal out of something he does well or right as out of something he does wrong or badly. He loves getting gold stars and doesn't seem particularly bothered about the "prize" at the end of it - our last chart went on for literally months. I tell him whenever he is polite, or empathetic, or brave or funny... It makes him grow inside, he likes it, makes him feel good about himself. </p><p>I remember wanting to be respected as a child and feeling that adults did not "see" me and I try to respect and to see my son. Just because he is a child with a child's eye view of the world does not mean that he is not a person worthy of respect. </p><p>So... if punishment is not working for your 5 year old, maybe you should stop punishing her. What do you think?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 467334, member: 11227"] My basic rule of thumb these days with child rearing (speaking just for myself, of course :)) is: if it doesn't work, give it up. Punishment has no effect on my son. It makes him depressed (I think), low in self-esteem and doesn't change his behaviour. So I never punish him - not that I was particularly philosophically inclined that way anyway. Of course I do get cross with him, and I do tell him when his behaviour is inappropriate. He does take notice of this (the fifth time if not the first, lol). I also explain things to him. Ask him to do things respectfully. Oh - and the BIG thing I do with him, which has more effect than anything else, is that I give him LOTS of praise and encouragement (as Keista says below). I remind myself all the time that I just make just a big a deal out of something he does well or right as out of something he does wrong or badly. He loves getting gold stars and doesn't seem particularly bothered about the "prize" at the end of it - our last chart went on for literally months. I tell him whenever he is polite, or empathetic, or brave or funny... It makes him grow inside, he likes it, makes him feel good about himself. I remember wanting to be respected as a child and feeling that adults did not "see" me and I try to respect and to see my son. Just because he is a child with a child's eye view of the world does not mean that he is not a person worthy of respect. So... if punishment is not working for your 5 year old, maybe you should stop punishing her. What do you think? [/QUOTE]
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