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Running out of ideas for punishments that Work for 5 year old
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 467750" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>From tons of experience with kids...my own and fosters...some kids respond to kindness, some to discipline, some to nothing. And until they are older, you won't know if your method helped. Some kids are just going to be oppositional...it is their personality...and as they grow older, not everyone will cater to their unique needs. If they can't learn how to deal with other people's ways of handling them, that's where the trouble escalates, usually around middle school.</p><p></p><p>So you do the best, the very best that you can and hope it sinks in. You experiment. You go to therapy. No one method words for all children. Here are examples:</p><p></p><p>1/Oldest son, who had a tendency to hit or trip, especially if somebody was beating him in a game, reponded REALLY well when we finally enforced time outs. At first it was every time he offended and I felt like he was always in his chair. But as time wore on, he offended less and less and barely spent any time in his chair. And kids stopped getting hurt around him. Doesn't mean he was perfect, but he grew up to be ok, although he has a lot of mental health issues (see Sportsfan in my signature)</p><p></p><p>2/Pastry chef was a really well behaved child so we didn't really have to discipline her much, yet s he got involved in drugs at 12. We had just gone through a divorce and she had moved to another state. That triggered her insecurity, which she had always had, and caused dangerous behavior in order to fit in with peers. No discipline worked at her age. Nothing.</p><p></p><p>3/Sonic--Getting him into a quiet space would calm him down. Nothing else worked. It would take a while, but he would work it out and eventually be able to be calm. He has learned A LOT how to calm himself. At eighteen, he is a fairly calm, contended young man...and he did not start out that way. I have no idea how much our method of calming him in his early years helped...if at all...or if he just matured.</p><p></p><p>4/Jumper--Her way of expressing displeasure was to pout, sometimes without talking for an hour. She would turn her head when we tried to talk to her. Solution: We just let her be until the silent tantrum was over. Jumper is a super kid who is never a problem. I think it is more her mild temperament than anything we did right <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>The point is, there is no one way to deal with children. And there are no guarantees as to how they will turn out. So doing our best is always a great idea...and cutting ourselves some slack as well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 467750, member: 1550"] From tons of experience with kids...my own and fosters...some kids respond to kindness, some to discipline, some to nothing. And until they are older, you won't know if your method helped. Some kids are just going to be oppositional...it is their personality...and as they grow older, not everyone will cater to their unique needs. If they can't learn how to deal with other people's ways of handling them, that's where the trouble escalates, usually around middle school. So you do the best, the very best that you can and hope it sinks in. You experiment. You go to therapy. No one method words for all children. Here are examples: 1/Oldest son, who had a tendency to hit or trip, especially if somebody was beating him in a game, reponded REALLY well when we finally enforced time outs. At first it was every time he offended and I felt like he was always in his chair. But as time wore on, he offended less and less and barely spent any time in his chair. And kids stopped getting hurt around him. Doesn't mean he was perfect, but he grew up to be ok, although he has a lot of mental health issues (see Sportsfan in my signature) 2/Pastry chef was a really well behaved child so we didn't really have to discipline her much, yet s he got involved in drugs at 12. We had just gone through a divorce and she had moved to another state. That triggered her insecurity, which she had always had, and caused dangerous behavior in order to fit in with peers. No discipline worked at her age. Nothing. 3/Sonic--Getting him into a quiet space would calm him down. Nothing else worked. It would take a while, but he would work it out and eventually be able to be calm. He has learned A LOT how to calm himself. At eighteen, he is a fairly calm, contended young man...and he did not start out that way. I have no idea how much our method of calming him in his early years helped...if at all...or if he just matured. 4/Jumper--Her way of expressing displeasure was to pout, sometimes without talking for an hour. She would turn her head when we tried to talk to her. Solution: We just let her be until the silent tantrum was over. Jumper is a super kid who is never a problem. I think it is more her mild temperament than anything we did right :) The point is, there is no one way to deal with children. And there are no guarantees as to how they will turn out. So doing our best is always a great idea...and cutting ourselves some slack as well. [/QUOTE]
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