Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Running out of ideas for punishments that Work for 5 year old
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 468356" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Words, words: slippery and unreliable and yet, as Samuel Beckett said they are "all we have to go on." Particularly in an internet forum... Possibly we do mean the same thing by different words but for me punishment is an essentially vindictive act that seeks to exact some kind of revenge or penalty after the event. I can feel that kind of instinct rising up in me when (hypothetically), J has just smashed a vase I like by roller skating in the house when I have told him not to. But, for me, the difference between punishment and the sort of thing I am talking about is that I see the latter as educational, as trying to teach or show something - that there are boundaries in our lives and that it is better for all concerned, including the child, if those boundaries are respected. And also that other people matter and that their concerns are as valid as those of the child. Teaching that is, to me, the inalienable duty of the parent. </p><p>A lot of things that parents punish their children for are, to me, not important. I would ALWAYS address the matter if I saw J being mean, unkind, hurtful or selfish with another child, an adult or a living being. This to me is a very important boundary. If he talks to me or to other disrespectfully or hurtfully, that is important. If he hits or hurts... of course. If he steals something.... of course. If he lies... of course. We are talking about educating people of the future. Of course it is important that certain social rules are integrated and practised - not because the law says it is wrong but because they are wrong in themselves. Punishment is to do with the law but I am interested in something beyond that. </p><p>Okay, sermon over <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 468356, member: 11227"] Words, words: slippery and unreliable and yet, as Samuel Beckett said they are "all we have to go on." Particularly in an internet forum... Possibly we do mean the same thing by different words but for me punishment is an essentially vindictive act that seeks to exact some kind of revenge or penalty after the event. I can feel that kind of instinct rising up in me when (hypothetically), J has just smashed a vase I like by roller skating in the house when I have told him not to. But, for me, the difference between punishment and the sort of thing I am talking about is that I see the latter as educational, as trying to teach or show something - that there are boundaries in our lives and that it is better for all concerned, including the child, if those boundaries are respected. And also that other people matter and that their concerns are as valid as those of the child. Teaching that is, to me, the inalienable duty of the parent. A lot of things that parents punish their children for are, to me, not important. I would ALWAYS address the matter if I saw J being mean, unkind, hurtful or selfish with another child, an adult or a living being. This to me is a very important boundary. If he talks to me or to other disrespectfully or hurtfully, that is important. If he hits or hurts... of course. If he steals something.... of course. If he lies... of course. We are talking about educating people of the future. Of course it is important that certain social rules are integrated and practised - not because the law says it is wrong but because they are wrong in themselves. Punishment is to do with the law but I am interested in something beyond that. Okay, sermon over :) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Running out of ideas for punishments that Work for 5 year old
Top