I wouldn't fight this battle. We haven't had a set bed time in a couple of years here. We have quiet time when no one can disturb anyone else. While there is an occasional late night, for the most part, they go to bed when they are tired.
I do this too, but in your case because it has been a HUGE part of the problem, I would not go there for a second, (lol sorry JJJ) It just seems so early and she is completely thrown off by sleep. She seems like a kid who in every way is not able to handle choices at this time and until she has months of stability she is not going to be able to make choices. She can't handle class choices, bed time, home work, electronics, etc. She knew you would respond and so told the truth. I think she is telling you she needs more structure. It is too soon to stop that. give other rewards for her progress that dont affect her if she makes a mistake, like tickets to a movie, one on one time horse back riding, or whatever it is she likes.
Only you know which of our ideas will work, I am still shocked that this IOP is so short. Do they really think a couple of weeks will make a difference? Doesn't she have to meet more goals and maintain them for it to end? I hate insurance and time limits. Sorry she has been rushed thru but you dont need to rush thru it. Maybe you can take what they are doing and what you are doing and maintain it in the school setting for a long time. Keep the same time schedules, have husband do the mornings, etc.. like you say is working now. Just make the time limits permanent. Then it is off the table stress wise (you can know you might change it in the very far off future but just dont tell her, just make it the new order of things for the sake of her health). LOL so easy to say on a computer screen...I do know this is not easy in real life... It is why I post here too... You guys can tell me things that seem so obvious once I read it but I get too close to it and at times frustrated.
She simply showed you where she is really functioning and you can be thankful that she did. I hope this next week brings some better communication with the program and they meet with you about your concerns for her in school etc. SInce she needs help NOW I would go for a 504 to make them come to the table. but still work on an IEP. This disability totally derailed her academically so they can't say she is not affected.