I don't even want to post this. I am just so flustered. I don't think husband and I have ever sat up at night and talked so much than in the last couple of months. K started Lithium almost 3 months ago. Her levels are good. She is at 600mg. There are new studies showing great results with lower blood levels. She wasn't doing that great so we upped it. Still nothing. She is actually doing the same if not worse. I am not really into upping it if I am not seeing any improvement. If I had seen some improvement then sure, let's inch it up a bit. I am not adding thing on top of it either if I am not seeing anything with it. Basically this kid has never been stable. She has cycled into calm. Her AP has curbed the Psychotic Tendencies and the Hallucinations somewhat. But even with the AP, we don't know how much it is helping now. We had the emergency trip home from Chicago, where she went manic and tried to hurt herself and lost touch with reality. She is cycling very fast. Just this weekend- "I'm tired of being the only 8yo who never knows what to do everyday" crying and shaking in my arms Repeating over and over in her bed- "I don't know, I don't know" hitting herself in the head, pounding her head into the pillow. Locking herself in her room. Confused Pacing "Feels her white medicine is messing her up" (Lithium) Up racing on Sunday about saving and animal on WWF (world wildlife fed) started night before. Hasn't stopped yet, looks like we will have to do this. Had to drag her out of car Sunday after taking her to the Desert Museum which is something she loves, she did pretty well there. Then fell apart once home, because she started thinking about the next thing to do, and couldn't stop. Locked herself in her room again, eventually passed out. Tried to do some of her Kumon work, this is a new experiment through her therapist, she was shaking and staring into space. Stabbing the paper. We stopped early. Couldn't do her Oro-Motor Therapy. Then she ran around the room for the rest of the night, from 4 until bath, 7. Then we got her into bed around 7:30 to read. Depressed this morning.... This is how things have been for SO long. This is with 2 people at home taking care of here full time. We work on her independence, her control... all of it. I don't know where to go or what to do with her medications. This is going to come up at the next meeting with psychiatrist in the beginning of SEPT. We talk with therapist who is a Doctor, about this. I am so sad and lost right now... K hates this and has hated it for so long. Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is not an option. psychiatrist thinks because husband and I are both home that we can help her better than a hospital could at her age. Anyone have any suggestions. I don't even know where to go medication wise. I am willing to revisit medications. psychiatrist is willing to do what we want, but I am just tired of having to help make these decisions, even though i want to have the input. Know what I mean?. husband and I are seriously thinking about pulling her off of all medications and starting over. After giving Lithium a bit longer, if it shows no better results. How worse can she get? We have seen it all at this point. I know I am so long winded... thanks if you made it through this.