sad kitty

busywend

Well-Known Member
BBK, I think it helps knowing it could be the chemicals in your body changing since there are no more cigs. Perhaps the cigs kept our anxieties and thoughts buried deep and without those chemicals from the cigs they rise up to torture us! LOL!

It is torture. If you are going through what I went through...I would not wish it on my worst enemy.

I did/do a ton of self talk. It does help. I talk my way out of the thoughts. I rationally know they are not thoughts I should have. It is not easy though.

I think the best thing for you to focus on until the new year is drinking more water. I believe it can cleanse the body and also it is healthy for you and can go a long way to helping to keep one full.
Change one thing....drink 2 more glasses of water a day. If you can do more than do it.

 

Steely

Active Member
I can tell all of the reasons from the books that make sense... but why do we do these things?
You have to find the strength from within, you have to believe that you are beautiful and that are the wonderful person we all see and love here. You have to expect more from life.


Ditto!!!

I can relate! I am in the same type of situation with my second ex (not dead beat dad - yea, great to be married two times and still single, and it makes no rational sense whatsoever!!! It is all rather masochistic in my opinion....but somehow we have to not beat ourselves up over our weaknesses.....but pull from within.......so we will have the strength to move on.

I agree that you should post it all away with us. There is nothing more cathartic than writing, and even more so when people are actually responding, understanding, and listening.

Have you ever read When Food is Love? It helped me understand the food cravings so much, and be more accepting of me, and the issues that surround over eating.

Sending major big hugs..........strength.........and peace your way.
 
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flutterbee

Guest
Several years ago, there was a blip of an article in Maxim magazine (of all things) about a study that linked smoking to a decrease in depression. I don't remember what it said exactly and I'll try to google and see what I can find, but it was along the lines of: for those who struggle with depression, smoking cessation increased it. Some chemical thing. I remember it because at the time I read it, I was heading into a deep, dark, scary depression and that was a really good excuse (ha!) for me to not quit smoking at that time.

CALL your psychiatrist. You have depression. Now is the time of year for the seasonal stuff, too. A medication tweak or change may really benefit you. At least get you to the point where what you're feeling isn't so all-consuming.

((((((((((((((((lots and lots of love and hugs)))))))))))))), hon.

Always remember that we love you and are here for you. I pm'd you when you first joined and told you what a great addition I thought you were to the board. The longer you've been here, the more I think that. You are truly a remarkable, lady. And those aren't just words. I mean it.
 

mrscatinthehat

Seussical
Hey Kitty -

I understand so much of what you are saying. Everyone has said a lot of useful things. Sorry I didn't get here sooner but wanted to let you know that I am sending some hugs.

And if need be I can always schedule a trip to chicago...it is closer than going to difficult child 1 and I would probably feel more useful coming your way.

Beth
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
BBK

I've tried several times now to reply to this post, if I get interrupted again someone's gonna get hurt. grrrr

I'm so sorry you're sad and grieving. It's a process, let yourself work thru the process, but don't let the process take over.

I know the could've/would've/should'ves all too well. been there done that I made it past and discovered myself along the way. (imagine that lol)

Gaining weight from quitting smoking is fairly common. I doubt anyone is going to look down their nose at you for that. I think they're gonna be more in awe that you set a goal and did it, especially one that's not so easy to do.

As for ex....well, idiot didn't know a d@mn good thing when he had it. His loss. I know hearing about how he played you all and all he did had to hurt. (it's one thing to suspect, another to have it confirmed) Grieve it and let it go. Ex made those choices, not you.

You are an amazing woman, one hellova warrior Mom. (shows how stupid ex is, huh?)

You are a force to be reckoned with.

Many (((hugs)))
 
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flutterbee

Guest
Ok, I found something.

Articles on smoking and depression:

http://psychcentral.com/library/depression_smoking.htm

New research has suggested that there may be something in cigarette smoke that has antidepressant properties, which explains why cigarette smoking is much more common among depressed patients. A survey of 3,000 individuals in the St. Louis area confirmed that lifetime frequency of major depression was more common among smokers than nonsmokers (6.6 vs. 2.9 percent) This study also demonstrated that smokers who reported at least one episode of major depression were less likely to succeed in smoking cessation programs than smokers without depression (14 vs. 28 percent). These findings have been confirmed many times over.

There are thousands of chemicals other than nicotine constituents in cigarette smoke, of which one, or several, may affect mood in much the same way as a group of antidepressant medications called monoamine oxidase inhibitors or (MAOIs). These MAOIs effectively increase levels of specific neurotransmitters involved in the regulation of mood. Smoking, therefore, may be a way for depressed individuals to self-medicate depressive symptoms. Consequently, healthcare professionals who offer smoking cessation programs should offer depression screening and be prepared to address underlying mood disorders as part of a comprehensive smoking cessation program.

Pomerleau says another category of people who are susceptible to taking up smoking include those with a tendency towards depression.

Scientists are still searching for a clear understanding of the link between depression and smoking. One explanation is the 'self-medication' idea, that nicotine has a short term benefit effect on the neurotransmitter systems involved in depression, so smoking a cigarette may provide some relief from the feelings of depression.

"Typically, the effect of the cigarette would be fairly short - certainly not the same as a prescribed antidepressant," Pomerleau says.

On the other hand, smoking may cause depression or make it worse. There is also some evidence suggesting the existence of a common variable affecting both smoking and depression - possibly at the genetic level - such that people who are susceptible to depression may also be more susceptible to smoking. If this theory is valid, Pomerleau says, a person with depression who tries to stop smoking would become more depressed.

"For a person with a history of depression, particularly of clinically diagnosed depression, giving up smoking may require some additional procedures and some precautions. They should certainly discuss smoking cessation with their health care provider and consider the pharmacological interventions that are available," says Pomerleau.

http://www.apa.org/monitor/jun01/smokedepress.html
"We know that smoking cessation is very difficult to attain, and that people often have relapses on multiple occasions," says Windle. "Treatment programs need to take into account the associated depressed effect that's likely to occur with smoking cessation and take steps to help people cope with it."
 
You guys,

I can't get over the love I get when I read your posts. I can actually feel the hugs.

I am grateful for every single one of you. You are going to help me get though this.

Now if you don't mind, I can't breathe through my nose, because I am still bawling. Haven't quite stopped that yet. I hope nobody ever has to feel this. This really hurts.

Hugs back to all of you.
 
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flutterbee

Guest
Another article. I'm trying to get the ones from the 'reputable' sites/organizations.
"People who have depression have a very difficult time quitting smoking," said Gregory Ordway, Ph.D., a professor of psychiatry and human behavior and director of the division of neurobiology and behavior research at the University of Mississippi Medical Center in Jackson. "And those people who have recovered from major depression and then stop smoking have a greater likelihood of having their depressive symptoms recur when they stop smoking," Ordway told Psychiatric News.

Ok. I'm done googling now.
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
Can we have a "Fried Green Tomatoes" moment here? To quote Ninny Threadgoode "You git yourself some hormones!"

I have got to tell you, I am right where you are at emotionally. I'm toying around with rekindling familial relationships that aren't worth having just so I can get the last word in and the argument was over and done with 9 years ago!

Smoking is not so much of a threat, but it's Christmas and I have a bag of butter mints in the car door pocket that is just right for munching. Who needs breakfast? I don't need no stinkin' breakfast! Or lunch! Heck no! Not when there's butter mints in my car door and toffee peanuts on the desk! That's all the major food groups, right? Fiber and dairy and... herbs? Starch and meat (and a glass of red wine) for dinner, and I'm good to go. Vegetables? I don't need no stinkin' vegetables! I've got red wine and that's as good as a fruit!

And, I got asked if I was pregnant at Thanksgiving. Again. How nice! My reply being "I'd better not be, my kids are grown and gone and I'm way too old for that! (Older than the asker, by the way.) "Oh no you're not! You're not old!" Just the wrong thing to say to "the baby of the family" when she's going through menopause. Now I have to tell people how old I am!

Consider yourself hugged. Get yourself to a meeting. Pop that old "Fried Green Tomatoes" video in and cuddle up with Tink for a good cry. No girl is ever too young for that movie, to my mind. And get your hormones checked for crying out loud!
 

nvts

Active Member
Now if you don't mind, I can't breathe through my nose, because I am still bawling.

Eeeeewwww! Make sure you clean up the keyboard! Last time you did this you sprayed Diet Coke all over the thing and tried to bill me for a new one!!

Relax and don't sweat the small stuff and remember, in the grand scheme of things, it's all small stuff!!!

Later tater!

Beth
 
Ladies and gent,

Thank you so much. I knew that pouring my heart out here was the right thing to do. I needed to get it out and see it so I could start to work through it.

I am much better today. My breath isn't doing that hitch thing anymore (like after you cry..."hnyuh hnyuh hnyuh HNKRHUH!")

I am going to my meeting Saturday, hellz or high water.

As far as Matt goes, next time I see him, I'm gonna hang a mistletoe between my shoulder blades and walk in backwards.

Think he'll get it?
 

Ephchap

Active Member
Aww, BBK, now you've gone and done it ... now we're both big blubbering messes from crying. Your post just tore at my heart.

There could be any number of things making you feel this way - Ex losing a family member, the Holidays, quitting smoking, your recent health problems, gaining weight, the moon is full, the moon isn't full. The point is - you are feeling this way, and I'm just thankful that you recognize it, and that you posted about it so we could at least support you cyberly. I know you know, however, that if you do feel more than just depressed, to call a place that can physically and mentally help you asap.

You've been through a lot lately - the health issue and the quitting smoking and now loss of a family member, so cut yourself some slack. Know that we're here for you.

Just saw that you posted that you're feeling a bit better. That's our BBK ! Glad to hear it.

Sending good thoughts and mega hugs your way,
Deb ... now pass the kleenex, please
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
LMAO...mistletoe between the shoulder blades!

Might wanna get some bright red lipstick and a sign that says Kiss This!

About the smoking thang. Ya know, I talked to my shrink about wanting to quit smoking at my last visit but he literally told me that I was under way too much stress and pressure to even consider it at this point. It would send me into either a major depression or manic episode. None of us want that!

Maybe when my life calms down we can think about quitting...lol. Wonder when that will be? When Im dead?
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Mistle toe and kiester? I think you better get Witz to send you some buttermints. I wouldn't want his lips on my butt.
 
Oh, yes I do.

He can to kiss my ENTIRE butt. I do not care if it is an all day job.

Each hemisphere, every quadrant, both sides of the prime meridian.


by the way, who are the buttermints for, him or me?
 
I too have dreams about my x. But most of mine involve finding his grave and walking away with toilet paper stuck to my sneaker.

Star, you are too funny!

I would like to know about the three me conversations. Is it when we imagine a negative and a positive self and a watcher self?

Barbara
 
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