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sad kitty
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 105223" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>PINING for HIM? Are you SURE you didn't mean Pinning for him, as in voodoo doll? Honest to Pete kid - grab a sewing kit and head South. I'll splurge for the voodoo lawn darts. </p><p></p><p>All fun and games aside:</p><p></p><p>I think you're heart has taken inventory and forgotten to invite your brain on purpose. Your heart is missing and longing for all the things it thinks are missing. It will trick you by forgetting all the mean, rotten and horrible things that your brain would go "NO WAY SISTER GIRL uh uh, not putting up with that no more." and thus the brain looses to your heart, we're caught up in being in love with the feeling of love and adoration, all the while the brain sits upstairs tapping it's fingers and preparing the entire body for the windfall that it KNOWS will happen eventually. Because - it's happened before and history shows MORE than likely to repeat. Keep in mind - you've grown up, YOU have done things to better yourself, YOU are courageous and considerate - HE let's a 7 year old sit wondering on her birthday to go to a wedding. I'd have to ask WHY was the wedding more important? What was 'there' that was so much more important than his daughter?? Nothing I can think of.</p><p></p><p>Our own hearts can be the most selfish thing to ourselves. The heart can't see what it wants it can only feel what it thinks YOU need. Like the missing person who warms us at night, holds us in the kitchen and kisses our necks and can be a parking lot away and smile warming our whole world. </p><p></p><p>Mean time the brain is going (tap tap tap HELLO?) Isn't this the same man that snores, steals covers, farts, forgets your birthday and gives you a Billy Bass as your best gift on Christmas? Isnt' he the one that only hugs you in the kitchen when he wants romance in the bedroom or for you to stand on your already swollen feet after working 2 shifts while he sat home and did NOTHING = then says "Whats for dinner? Honey?" Isn't this the same man that shows up in the parking lot with a huge grin on his face making you think "He wants me" when what he's thinking about is "I want money because I have to take out my girlfriend". </p><p></p><p>Did you consider that while Tinks birthday is a milestone in HER life - it means something totally opposite in yours? It means O</p><p>DEAR LORD my heart took inventory = my baby is now 7 and I'm overweight, and I don't have a husband, I don't have my family around me for this occasion, I can't even say I'd like to have a drink because I've already been down that lonesome road - and if I smoke and die from cancer who will take care of Tink? It's like ALL your avenues of outlet that you used to have - are gone and your body is waging war on your heart, which is upsetting your brain and ultimately upsetting the bowels - which by the way really do control your entire body. </p><p></p><p>You ask What the #### is wrong with you? Simple - YOU are whats wrong with you. You have never GIVEN YOURSELF an atta girl. You have never told yourself "I AM REALLY WORTH MORE THAN THAT." You have probably never sat and had the three of yous conversation. It's really interesting. On top of that when have you given yourself time to mourn the losses of your dreams? You never took that time - You had to quit drinking, quit smoking, move, pack, take care of Copper, Tink - You know that the death of a dream can almost be more overwhelming that death of a person? Mostly because once that particular dream is over - we're stuck there going "OKAY NO ONE SHOWED ME HOW TO MOVE ON FROM HERE AND LOVE MYSELF." You had a good idea HOW to get to the dream - but once that dream was gone - you forgot to give yourself permission to have a new dream. And because you haven't ever given yourself permission to be okay, go forward, appreciate the you we know - your dreams will keep replaying and make you sad. </p><p></p><p>If I were there - we'd be at a coffee shop and getting looks for snarfing, and snorting I'm sure. If you want to know about the conversations with the three you's let me know. It's a really odd, little mental exercise and not as hokey pokey as you think.</p><p></p><p>I too have dreams about my x. But most of mine involve finding his grave and walking away with toilet paper stuck to my sneaker.</p><p>The day I dream about that mustard is the day I WILL commit myself to complete treatment with shock wands and a rubber mouth piece. </p><p></p><p>I'm glad we're friends - my world would be a darker place without your shining face and get me in trouble kind of humor. </p><p></p><p>Much love to you today</p><p>Big Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 105223, member: 4964"] PINING for HIM? Are you SURE you didn't mean Pinning for him, as in voodoo doll? Honest to Pete kid - grab a sewing kit and head South. I'll splurge for the voodoo lawn darts. All fun and games aside: I think you're heart has taken inventory and forgotten to invite your brain on purpose. Your heart is missing and longing for all the things it thinks are missing. It will trick you by forgetting all the mean, rotten and horrible things that your brain would go "NO WAY SISTER GIRL uh uh, not putting up with that no more." and thus the brain looses to your heart, we're caught up in being in love with the feeling of love and adoration, all the while the brain sits upstairs tapping it's fingers and preparing the entire body for the windfall that it KNOWS will happen eventually. Because - it's happened before and history shows MORE than likely to repeat. Keep in mind - you've grown up, YOU have done things to better yourself, YOU are courageous and considerate - HE let's a 7 year old sit wondering on her birthday to go to a wedding. I'd have to ask WHY was the wedding more important? What was 'there' that was so much more important than his daughter?? Nothing I can think of. Our own hearts can be the most selfish thing to ourselves. The heart can't see what it wants it can only feel what it thinks YOU need. Like the missing person who warms us at night, holds us in the kitchen and kisses our necks and can be a parking lot away and smile warming our whole world. Mean time the brain is going (tap tap tap HELLO?) Isn't this the same man that snores, steals covers, farts, forgets your birthday and gives you a Billy Bass as your best gift on Christmas? Isnt' he the one that only hugs you in the kitchen when he wants romance in the bedroom or for you to stand on your already swollen feet after working 2 shifts while he sat home and did NOTHING = then says "Whats for dinner? Honey?" Isn't this the same man that shows up in the parking lot with a huge grin on his face making you think "He wants me" when what he's thinking about is "I want money because I have to take out my girlfriend". Did you consider that while Tinks birthday is a milestone in HER life - it means something totally opposite in yours? It means O DEAR LORD my heart took inventory = my baby is now 7 and I'm overweight, and I don't have a husband, I don't have my family around me for this occasion, I can't even say I'd like to have a drink because I've already been down that lonesome road - and if I smoke and die from cancer who will take care of Tink? It's like ALL your avenues of outlet that you used to have - are gone and your body is waging war on your heart, which is upsetting your brain and ultimately upsetting the bowels - which by the way really do control your entire body. You ask What the #### is wrong with you? Simple - YOU are whats wrong with you. You have never GIVEN YOURSELF an atta girl. You have never told yourself "I AM REALLY WORTH MORE THAN THAT." You have probably never sat and had the three of yous conversation. It's really interesting. On top of that when have you given yourself time to mourn the losses of your dreams? You never took that time - You had to quit drinking, quit smoking, move, pack, take care of Copper, Tink - You know that the death of a dream can almost be more overwhelming that death of a person? Mostly because once that particular dream is over - we're stuck there going "OKAY NO ONE SHOWED ME HOW TO MOVE ON FROM HERE AND LOVE MYSELF." You had a good idea HOW to get to the dream - but once that dream was gone - you forgot to give yourself permission to have a new dream. And because you haven't ever given yourself permission to be okay, go forward, appreciate the you we know - your dreams will keep replaying and make you sad. If I were there - we'd be at a coffee shop and getting looks for snarfing, and snorting I'm sure. If you want to know about the conversations with the three you's let me know. It's a really odd, little mental exercise and not as hokey pokey as you think. I too have dreams about my x. But most of mine involve finding his grave and walking away with toilet paper stuck to my sneaker. The day I dream about that mustard is the day I WILL commit myself to complete treatment with shock wands and a rubber mouth piece. I'm glad we're friends - my world would be a darker place without your shining face and get me in trouble kind of humor. Much love to you today Big Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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