Sad mother, bipolar daughter

[Snow White]

Tandemdame, would it actually be helpful to tell your daughter that her room is packed up and she is not going to be allowed home while she is still in hospital? Hospital staff will be able see the interaction/impact and then be able to work with her to make plans for her discharge? I'm just forward thinking to her discharge day, telling her then and having all of this blow up right outside the hospital. I'm sure you don't want to start back at square one. We had a similar situation on one of Difficult Child's hospital discharges and we didn't get out the door before a new rage started up and she ended up being readmitted.

Thinking of you!

 

[AppleCori]

It is possible that, if your daughter is diagnosed as mentally ill, the hospital would help to get her int an appropriate placement.

This happened with someone I know. The family refused to allow him back into their homes because of his behaviors, and the hospital was forced to find him placement, and they had to keep him in the hospital until the placement was available. This ended up being several months.

Of course, the hospital personnel called constantly, trying to get someone in the family to take responsibility for him, but the family members held strong and put it back on the system to deal with it. They said that they did not have the training to deal with it or the resources. The mental health placement helped him to get on SSDI and get stabilized on medications.

It was the best thing that could have happened, though the family was shamed and harassed before the hospital finally gave in and did what was necessary.

 

[JaneBetty]

Jetsam, McDonna, and AppleCori, thank you for your replies. I am feeling pretty agitated about her impending release.

My husband told me that he did mention the temporary restraining order to the dr on the conference call last night, and my husband gave the staff a letter from the judge about her hearing which is 10/19 and mentioned it again, so I have to hope that our daughter is aware that she must find living arrangements between her release and her hearing.

I opted out of the hearing, but my husband is going out of love and duty to/for her.

I made an appointment to talk to a counselor the week after next as I am having problems controlling my fearful feelings towards her everytime there is even the slightest new development, or contact from her. This is an unhealthy way to live.

One good thing about all this is that I no longer feel like I must keep her behavior secret. I think I kept it all under wraps because for the longest time, I had the hope that her early 20's struggles would be a passing phase and that we would all look back on it as youthful folly.

But she is almost 27 now, which is close to 30, and enough is enough.

 

[Nomad]

I'm sorry I didn't read other posts so I might repeat something already said.

She might qualify for disability. Our adult daughter with bipolar disorder got disability. My husband is her payee.it is used for rent. I could never have her in my home. She does take her medications though. If your daughter sees a psychiatrist at least fairly regularly and gets on at least one medication and if the doctor agrees to support her she might qualify.

Please consider some therapy sessions for yourself if you haven't done so already. The stress is over the top. Take extreme care of yourself and your marriage.

 

[JaneBetty]

I thought I would post an update, even though there hasn't been much in the way of developments. My daughter was released Friday night and has spent the weekend somewhere, we are not sure. I looked at her call record on our Verizon account and noticed that on Saturday she made several calls to various social service agencies and to the state university department of psychology, as well as to a workplace rehabilitation program. Yippee!

I sat for a minute and wondered why she so reluctantly sought help while in this household, and is all of a sudden pursuing help in earnest, and I remembered reading many people's accounts here and reassuances that once your adult child is out of the house, it is amazing how resourceful they become!

Anyway, I also remembered a podcast that my youngest daughter recommended to us and that I think would be useful to people here.

Here's the description:

"NPR
Invisibilia Podcast July 1, 2016
The Problem with the Solution
We are naturally drawn to finding solutions. But are there ever problems we shouldn't try to solve? Lulu Miller visits a town in Belgium with a completely different approach to dealing with mental illness. Families in the town board people – strangers - with severe mental illnesses in their homes, sometimes for decades. And it works, because they are not looking to cure them."


The part in the podcast that really stuck with me is that the people in this study actually did better when released to a living situation that was not their family of origin. And I wondered whether my daughter suffered from thinking we were perpetually disappointed in her and that she was just stuck in a downward spiral of defeat, even though my husband and I tried our best to encourage her and grasped at even the most minute evidence that she was trying to address her behavior.

I think she hated thinking that we were trying to "fix" her, and that any deviation from acceptable behavior reinforced our opinion that she needed help. I think we were all boxed in. I'm not saying that she didn't need help, she certainly did, it's just that one's parents usually have the most complete idea of a child, and I think that our daughter was trying to escape this but didn't know how.

 

[recoveringenabler]

I think she hated thinking that we were trying to "fix" her, and that any deviation from acceptable behavior reinforced our opinion that she needed help. I think we were all boxed in. I'm not saying that she didn't need help, she certainly did, it's just that one's parents usually have the most complete idea of a child, and I think that our daughter was trying to escape this but didn't know how.

I struggle with this too. Even without words, we can convey our disappointments, angers, resentments, fears and sadness that our adult kids aren't behaving in typical, normal, 'acceptable' ways and that they are not doing life the way we believe life should be done. It's difficult not to judge them when they act badly, often in ways that harm us too. I try hard not to fix or define or judge my daughter, but my own desires for her safety, happiness and well being often override that......it's such a razor's edge to walk on.....to make boundaries around their behaviors and choices so they are responsible for themselves and at the same time accept them for who they are.....I am always self correcting as I walk on that razors edge......as long as I am not harmed or responsible, it's the true acceptance of my daughter and they way she lives that can be challenging for me.......

 

[JaneBetty]

Well, yesterday our daughter sent a msg thru a mutual family friend that she was trying to make arrangements with the police dept to have an escort come with her to pick up some of her things this morning (a restraining order is in effect, so she must be accompanied). She made certain to instruct our friend that we (her parents) were to stay out of her room, and she would prefer we were not in the house while she got her things, LOL!

We have already packed and labeled all her things and they are sitting in the basement, and I asked our friend to relay this message to our daughter so there are no surprises.

Our mutual friend asked her if she was able to take the kitty that she left as well. This must have triggered something in her (she was forced out of our house almost a month ago due to my confronting her over bringing in two more stray kittens into the house that we were able to give back to the original owner, but we still had one kitty left in the house), because the next thing we knew, she had backed up our driveway in defiance of the restraining order. I am upset she did this, we didn't call the police since she left immediately after getting the kitty, and nothing happened after she left, but she ignored the boundary.

So, if she somehow gets an officer to escort her here to pick up her things today, I am wondering what personal documents should go with her. She has a passport, as well as a few savings bonds that her grandparents and we bought when she was a child, and bank statements and health records that I gathered to apply for social security disability.

Do we just pack it all in a box and send it away?

PS, after reading accounts about adult children reading parents' posts on this site, I have changed my avatar photo again out of excessive caution.

 

[ksm]

I wouldn't give her important papers or savings bonds, unless she specifically asks for them...

KSM

 

[JaneBetty]

Thanks, KSM, I thought as much too. Someone could steal them from her during this chaotic time.
My name is on these old bonds too, so I am able to redeem them for her.
I could cash them into her bank account as she runs out of money, but I dread the confrontation that would inevitably come about. In better days, she told me she didn't want to cash them, when she would want to buy something and I would point out that she had no money unless she redeemed some.
My husband says we should deposit them into her account and weather the storm as it happens.

 

[JaneBetty]

Daughter showed up again unannounced yesterday morning. She wanted to look through her things in the basement. I didn't want to let her in, but gave in to my husband and sat nervously in the house while she got some things under my husband's supervision.

I did overhear some of what she was saying to him, and later, after she had left, I pointed out to him that she is continuing to step over boundaries : the restraining order is still in effect, most importantly!

What did she want from her things in the basement? Winter clothing, kitchen supplies, etc is what I would have gathered, but instead, she took her sister's large TV and game boy set, along with lots of games. I want to add that her sister gave permission, mostly because she didn't want us to have to deal with any conflict.

Daughter also sorted through her mail and left garbage on the floor despite my husband offering a garbage can.

I convinced my husband that we cannot give into her visits. If she cannot honor a restraining order, what can she honor? Even though she has been mostly respectful during the two visits, she still has boundary problems. He agreed that he will not let her in again.

This morning, I looked at her cell calls, and noticed that she made one to a local homeless shelter. I ran this piece of info by my husband to digest and he indicated that he wasn't surprised, so I'm glad he is not unhappy about it, but I feel sad and ashamed that she is having to look into this.

 

[New Leaf]

Tandemdame, I am so sorry for your troubles with your daughter, I have been away for awhile and am just catching up.
This is a difficult journey you are on. Warm hugs for your hurting heart.
Reading your thread, I see that you and husband have done so much for your daughter. Unfortunately, (but characteristically for many of our d c's), she has shown complete disrespect for you both and your home.
You are not alone in this.

A restraining order is just that, no contact, no showing up at your house to collect things.
It seems that she is testing the waters, first to get her cat, now to come into your home. I understand how hard it is to turn our own away, but really, a restraining order is an obligation on both parties involved. Be very careful about allowing her to cross this line because it nullifies the order in her mind, and may be a legal issue for you as well. This varies by State.
I have also read about folks having to go through eviction process with adult children who have lived at home. There are also tenants rights to possessions. Try to contact your local authorities for more information on this.
As far as being sad and ashamed for her looking into a homeless shelter, I understand. It is a hard thing to see an adult child at this juncture.
From my viewpoint, she is taking a good step to find a solution. I write this, as my daughter lives in a park a few miles away from my home. It is actually my hope that one day she would go to a shelter and avail herself of the help offered there. But, alas, it is not the case as yet.
There are services for our wayward adult children beyond what we could ever offer them. When they lean on us for their needs, it comes with this feeling of entitlement, in many posts here, when in our homes, they seem to regress and drag us into this downward spiral of desperation. It is akin to a double drowning.
I have had to tell my two that I would not allow them to live with me. It was hard, but necessary. This is after years of trying to "help", taking them into my home, only to have to give them the boot because of the shades of crazy we went through.

I have no problem with multi generational living arrangements, (especially with high cost of living) as long as there is mutual respect and contribution to household upkeep and expense. Unfortunately, that was not the case when we opened our doors to try to help.
It quickly became a deplorable living situation.
Unacceptable.
My two have never been diagnosed with mental illness, but have been involved with drugs, lead very unstable lives and have had scary acquaintances come in to our home. We have been stolen from many times. And on and on.
The worst theft is time, our broken hearts and dreams.

It is hard to see our adult children down and out, but, I continue to tell myself that they have got to learn how to find their way in this world. I will not be around forever to "rescue" them.
We recently suffered the loss of their father, so this they know firsthand. One would think that would be a time for an epiphany and lifestyle changes, but I am not holding my breath for that to happen.

My hubs passing taught me that life is very, very short. We worked so hard to give our children the best we could. Of course we made mistakes, had tough times, but that is life. Spent his last few years struggling with our twos choices and trying to help them to no avail, at the expense of finding joy and really and truthfully well deserved time for ourselves. Hubs struggle with illness did not prevent the path our two chose.

This is a very selfish beast to deal with.

You and your husband have your lives to live. You have raised your daughter. She has made choices and will have to learn from the consequences, even with her mental illness.
Her illness does not mandate an obligation of lifetime care for her.
Letting her go and grow and face the consequences of her choices, does not mean you do not love her, rather your great love for her should help you to see beyond her situation now, to the reality that she has to learn how to care for herself. Sometimes, our adult children take the hard road, and we as parents struggle with the idea of our d c's suffering.
How else will they learn?
If we continue to take on the burden of their consequences, how will they learn to choose better?
Hang in there dear and keep posting. There are so many kind folks here who have been through the heartache of this journey, and offer wise advice. None of us are experts, just people who have been through much of what you are dealing with.
I hope you find some respite this weekend and take some time for yourself to gain strength.
You have value and worth, YOU matter.
Be very kind to yourself.
Many, many
(((HUGS)))
Leafy

 

[JaneBetty]

New Leaf, my condolences on the passing of your husband. It must be hard not to have the one person in your life who raised your children with you gone. Thank you for taking the time to respond. There are many things in your post that are helpful.

From what I can tell about the tenancy laws in my state, if she tries to live here again, arguing that she has possessions here and a long term tenancy, we can either go through a formal eviction process or simply have her removed as a trespasser, since there has never been a written lease agreement. The disorderly conduct and domestic abuse charge would argue in our favor as well. I hope none of this comes to pass, but I definitely see your point about allowing her back in (I even went upstairs and talked to my husband about it again!).

Thank you for pointing out that she is taking a good step towards finding a solution. It was just something about seeing that shelter phone number that bothered me. I used to volunteer there, and I know it is a good place, I just felt bad for her.

Your comment that "the worst theft is time" rang true to me. I used to spend a lot of time thinking about what my husband and I would do once he retired. Well, he retired three years ago, and he is nine years older than I am, and I see us both getting older, and I think about all the effort we spent trying to help her, and how we have been frozen in this drama. It makes me feel mad and guilty at the same time.

Our children are our tie to the future, maybe that's why we all hold on to the difficult ones for longer than we should. I would love to feel like a hero and solve all her problems, but she needs to be her own hero.

Leafy, you're very kind. Thank you again for posting, and I wish you peace and happiness too.

 

[JaneBetty]

I just want to say how very thankful I am for this forum!

I get quite a bit of benefit reading everyone's posts, and especially appreciate how closely people follow the details of each problem posted.

I have no update on our situation. We haven't had any more contact with our daughter, though I do know she is in town, and she continues to contact local shelters for help. Through a family friend, I learned she was hoping to get a job at the Walmart bakery in town. She was always interested in cooking, so there's that. But the friend also told us that she wasn't really tracking the conversation very well, and I wondered whether she was taking her prescribed medications.

Her court hearing is next week.

Now I am wondering about the upcoming holidays. We have always traveled out of state to celebrate Thanksgiving with extended family.

My husband wants to include her. I'm not opposed, but I start thinking about the logistics of an invitation....fly her down? drive her down? for how long? where will she stay? is she stable enough?

In many ways, it would be easier to stay here and have some kind of Thanksgiving with her if at all possible. But I can't help thinking I am over thinking this. Afterall, she has not asked to come back home.

 

[New Leaf]

I don't think you are over thinking dear. We all have very different situations with our d cs and it is tough to navigate these waters.
I reread your initial post to ponder a reply. I must say , I am a bit puzzled, but then again not, because this was me awhile back. It's just all so darn topsy turvy dealing with d cs.
Upcoming holidays certainly pose a dilemma. The Norman Rockwell family dinner painting takes on a whole new definition in most of our cases. That is what we all strive for, peace, decent conversation, etc. Oft times that is not the case.
You wrote of your daughters domineering behavior towards you which culminated in you actually leaving your home for a bit and then the assault. Pulling your hair, punching and biting you. I am sorry to bring this up, but feel it is well worth revisiting. In my own sad story of dealing with my two, as they cycled between crazy moods and that sort of stuff, I found myself on my own journey of being sick and tired of the disruption and unacceptable behavior, and feeling obligated to "help". Home just wasn't home anymore, it was like an invasion had occurred and I was not able to find balance, knocked off my foundation. I think the thing that happens is we lose sense of ourselves in the maelstrom. It is akin to being a victim of domestic violence with all of the stages.
Forgive me, but right now you are in the "honeymoon" stage.
Daughter is making her own way.
Your home is a bit more peaceful.
So the lure of the holidays and the Norman Rockwell painting sets in.
It is a good time, while she is finding her way, for you to focus on healing, seek counseling (if you haven't already), and really examine all you have been through.
I know the "shellshocked" feeling, just being numb and trying to put back the pieces, heck, I'm still working on it.
Then holidays come round and we just want family to be together.
I am not suggesting you don't have your daughter for the holidays.....just that you take some time to work on you and recovering. By your post, your daughter is doing okay. But, how are you? It is so hard when our own kids are malicious, abusive. It is not right. Somehow, they dish this ugliness out on us, I think they feel that we will take it and continue as is.
There is a lot written about unconditional love, but there are boundaries. Your daughter crossed a big one, attacking you. Sorry if I sound harsh, but I feel this needs to be addressed. Even though she has issues, it is unacceptable.
You have value, you matter. Your safety and well being is important. Above and beyond everything. Holidays included.
Just my thoughts this morning.
(((Hugs)))
Leafy

 

[JaneBetty]

Leafy, you are so very kind. I know these things you are trying to relate to me. I know them. I want everyone at the table. I want the idealized version. I want everyone to give it up and say it's okay, mom, we are here.

It is the holiday season, there is some ideal we are trying to achieve, but true progress takes time and the holidays don't insure that it is all going to be fine.

I'm thankful she is trying to do something to get back on her feet. I should just leave her be and move on, love her from afar. Like many here, I imagine she is suffering without any direct knowledge of it.

And I have to keep reminding myself that she hasn't asked to come back home, which really, is my worst fear, because I don't want her back. And I keep imagining that conversation with her, which probably looms larger in my head than it needs to.

Yes, she did knock me about and hurt me, and it is astounding how blase I felt about it at the time, because all signs pointed to a show down for a long time. And we are in a honeymoon here now, you're right.

I keep reminding myself how I viewed my parents when I was her age. They were like one dimensional anchors who I loved but didn't really consult as I went about making decisions and mistakes.

There is some part of her that is doing the same and views us the same.

Thank you again, Leafy.

 

[New Leaf]

Tandem, detaching doesn't mean coldly cutting our loved ones off. To me, it means trying to find that balance again in taking care of ourselves, loving ourselves as God, or any higher power you may believe in, intended.
Believe me, I still cycle through many emotions, but just not so intensely as before. I try to catch myself before entering that realm again, it is a hard place to come back from.
What helped me greatly, besides this site and posting, was reconnecting with my well children. I hadn't realized that we were so in the thick of rescue mode that my other adult children were just kind of waiting in the wings.
I had a no contact period, pretty much instigated by my daughters horrific exodus with children in tow from my home. It was a wake up call of the shades of crazy we had endured for years. Birthdays and holidays came and went. My eldest, caught up in meth, abusive boyfriend and homelessness would come and go, and triangulated her dad and I.
I became the "bad" guy, as I began to examine all that had gone on and said "no more". Hubs reluctantly agreed we could no longer house our two troubled beloveds, but he would allow Rain to come over, shower, eat a meal and do her laundry. I had gotten to the point where I was just so fed up. I was attacked as well, not to the degree you were, but I had just had enough.
I viewed hubs stance as enabling, in some way it was, but he was just trying to stay connected in some way. We each went through our own thing, trying to heal and move forward.
Now, I am able to have more contact, and it is not easy to stay out of rescue mode. But, I have learned the hard way that my two don't make any effort to change when they are in my home. They backslide and take me down that slippery slope with them.
I do not like the lifestyle my two lead, but I do love them with all of my heart. It is difficult to see them suffer and struggle, but I know I cannot go back to the same ole, same ole. I had to say this to them, "No, you cannot live here ........" and it hurt, but they have to look back and understand why.........their living at home is very unhealthy for all of us.
Hubs passing has forced me to focus more on self care and keeping my head above water.
I have declared my house a "peace zone".
What I have learned is that our d cs will do what they do, in spite of our best hopes and wishes for them. They are adults and will choose their lifestyle. They have to learn to take care of themselves, I won't be here forever to "rescue" them.
There is help out there, if they want to avail themselves.
There are folks here on cd, who will tell you that when they let go and started focusing on bringing balance and finding joy into their life, that somehow their d cs got a little better. Not instantaneously, but I think what is key is modeling self care, rebuking and refusing unacceptable behaviors from our d cs, not focusing so much on their choices and consequences, vs living a good rest of our lives.
A common denominator is that these adult kids feel such a sense of entitlement. We keep giving and giving, it's no wonder they feel that way. We have done our raising children as best we can. Comes a time when they have to learn to spread their wings and fly. We can love them and hope and pray.
In the end all, they will make their way, sometimes on a rocky path but they must learn.
While they are learning, we need to find a new way for ourselves.
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
Be very kind to yourself, do something you enjoy. Go for a walk, discover a new passion.
You have been through a tough battle, build yourself up and find resources for your toolbox. You're going to be okay Tandem, and so is your daughter.
(((Hugs)))
Leafy

 

[JaneBetty]

Leafy, thank you again for taking the time to respond. I reread your post this morning to remind myself that things will get better. It's never going to be perfect, it is a different kind of better.

This morning my husband went to our daughter's preliminary court hearing. I decided against going, and asked my husband if he would not mind going alone. My fear was that by seeing me, she would become agitated, and I truly don't want her to be upset at an already upsetting event.

Anyway, when my husband entered the courtroom, he sat down at one end of a long bench where there were two other people at the end. He didn't notice who the people were until our daughter's name was called and she had to make her way across the bench and around my husband's legs.

My husband said that she did not look at him and took care not to knock against him when she passed, almost as though she is still mad, or she is ashamed to be there and it is somehow his fault, who knows?

She had legal representation from the PD office, but there was a person substituting for our daughter's lawyer this morning, so the hearing was postponed until Dec 20. We wondered whether she has finally decided to accept help from the Crisis people, and a ruling was delayed until she demonstrates compliance? We just don't know.

When it was over, my husband handed her some mail and left. He told me that she appeared to be either sleepy or on some new medication, and he was distressed by her affect. She brought along a young man, but did not introduce him to my husband.

So this was all a big nothingburger I guess.

 

[mof]

Sorry for your stress..on the upside, maybe she is being medication compliant and it's not wholly taken effect.

medications as you know can take awhile, and docs can keep changing amounts. Our son seemed out of it, but w I th medication change helped so much.

Hugs

 

[Snow White]

I have always hated the court process....the stress build-up and then the temporary let-down and frustration when postponements occur. I'm sorry that you are going through this.

MOF has a good point - I'm hoping that maybe the new medications might kick in for your daughter over the next while and maybe by the next court appearance she will be in a better state.

I was just re-reading some of the posts in this thread:

I think she hated thinking that we were trying to "fix" her, and that any deviation from acceptable behavior reinforced our opinion that she needed help. I think we were all boxed in. I'm not saying that she didn't need help, she certainly did, it's just that one's parents usually have the most complete idea of a child, and I think that our daughter was trying to escape this but didn't know how.

Just a few weeks ago, our daughter wrote the exact same thing in a long-winded email to me - she accused me of always trying to "fix" her. I like to think that we have always allowed her to embrace her individualism - she has so many wonderful talents. What I have wanted for some time is for her to access some "tools" to help her with everyday dilemmas she so often faces. What those tools are is up to her to agree to. Those tools do not include self-medication, abusive and risk-taking behaviour, etc. while living in our house. She just doesn't see that yet.

This forum continues to challenge me by bringing out things I have been trying to forget (or just push into the back of my mind). Like you, I've been physically assaulted along with numerous death threats. The assault was the last time she was able to live in our house. I replayed that day for months after it happened.

New Leaf is right - you will go through the phases of longing over holidays, birthdays and other special events. That is inevitable. But keep in mind that if things to back to the way they were, all of these events (and all the other days) will not be peaceful, as you will always be on 'pins and needles' waiting for something to happen. Try to enjoy this time and plan for some self-healing.

Hugs and prayers extended to you, Tandemdame.

 

[New Leaf]

Leafy, thank you again for taking the time to respond. I reread your post this morning to remind myself that things will get better. It's never going to be perfect, it is a different kind of better.

You are very welcome TD, writing here helps me sort through my feelings, too, thank you for sharing your thoughts. You are right, it's never going to be perfect, life isn't perfect. That Norman Rockwell painting might embody perfection, but I am sure the folks sitting at that table had their fair share of challenges.
The different kind of better you wrote of, yes, what a wise way to put it.
We learn eventually to stop focusing so much on what our d cs are doing, and in turn gauging our lives and how we live, on their chosen lifestyle and consequences.
It is simple, then yet so complicated, all tangled up in our love and devotion to our d cs.
D cs are quick to learn that we parents are our own worst enemies in this. Our love becomes a weapon they will wield against us time and again.
When that doesn't work, they will use our guilt. Guilt that maybe if we had done this or that, it would be different.
That winds us up into entanglement, enmeshment, which looks and feels like love or a remedy, but isn't.
What a mess.
Building our toolbox and doing things to restrengthen ourselves helps move us towards the different kind of better. Our d cs will do what they do, choose what they choose and learn or not learn lessons meant for them. We have absolutely no control over adults.
Yes, they are our family, our children, but they are responsible for their actions.

My husband said that she did not look at him and took care not to knock against him when she passed, almost as though she is still mad, or she is ashamed to be there and it is somehow his fault, who knows?

Who knows? Who knows what goes on in another persons mind? (Especially our d cs?????) Your husband went there to show support. I am sorry for him that it was stressful, seeing her in that state. But, it also reminds me of the mind games my two would play, just to keep me involved. Not acknowledging someones presence is a from of shunning, very, very cunning and manipulative.
You know, it's like they are toddlers in big adult bodies, they know how to get our attention.

So this was all a big nothingburger I guess.

Not a nothingburger (first time I have seen that one.......nothingburger, I like it).
Everything is a lesson. What we take away from it, that's what is important.
Day by day, we start to wake up and see all of this for what it is and make changes towards a different kind of better. Life is short. Real short. Too short to be walked upon, have our kindness taken advantage of, be emotionally drained, manipulated and abused.
My mantra this month is "Love says no."
No more.
Starting with myself, because that's the only person I have control of, me.
No, Leafy, do not go down that road again.
Breathe and keep working towards a different kind of better.
Keep up the good work TD, you are doing this.
(((HUGS)))
Leafy