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Sad news, could use some prayers please......
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 622068" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Like in your dream Cedar, you are still flying fast through this stuff, confronting Mother is, in my opinion, the big bugaboo, facing the dragon............you are so brave, like David with Goliath, I was so happy to read about this. And, it made me smile that you and husband called his mother right after, that seemed perfect, like the period at the end of a sentence. You've taken a stand for Cedar. You've changed the tapestry, now the threads are your choices, not you succumbing to someone else's design. Great job Cedar!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am reading <u>When things fall apart</u> and there is a lot to absorb about not allowing fear and hope to rule us. "Hope and fear is a feeling that has two sides, as long as there's one, there's always the other. In the world of hope and fear, we always have to change the channel, change the temperature, change the music, because something is getting uneasy, something is getting restless, something is beginning to hurt and we keep looking for alternatives. Abandoning hope is an affirmation, the beginning of the beginning. Hope and fear come from that feeling that we lack something, they come from a sense of poverty. We hold on to hope and hope robs of us our present moment. Giving up hope is encouragement to stick with yourself, to make friends with yourself, to not run away from yourself, to return to the bare bones, no matter what is going on. Fear of death is in the background of the whole thing. It's why we feel restless, why we panic, why we feel anxiety. But if we totally experience hopelessness, giving up all hope of alternatives to the present moment, we can have a joyful relationship to our lives, an honest, direct relationship, one that no longer ignores the reality of impermanence and death."</p><p></p><p>It correlates to what you and COM were talking about on another thread about how when we finally let go of our difficult child's, it is the beginning. </p><p></p><p>I've wrestled with this concept of hope for a long time now. I could see how in some ways it keeps me stuck. Stuck in the future, not here in the present. I can easily start that process up right now while my daughter is in jail............'this is the bottom, she will get it together now............hoping for something, for this to end.' But, I am really making every attempt to not do that, to recognize that I have no idea what is going to happen, to stay in that vulnerable place of uncertainty. I am practicing this all the time now, minute to minute, observing my mind going out to the future, gently bringing it back. As we do in meditation, but all the time. </p><p></p><p>We are all doing so well with our 'beginnings' each one of us learning to live within this uncertainty, this chaos ..........and in our vulnerability, we are forging a new way to BE. I feel in awe of it and excited by it. I am reminded of something I heard that is attributed to Buddha, "the only difference between fear and excitement, is breath." We are breathing new life into ourselves. In the midst of all of it, there is still joy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 622068, member: 13542"] Like in your dream Cedar, you are still flying fast through this stuff, confronting Mother is, in my opinion, the big bugaboo, facing the dragon............you are so brave, like David with Goliath, I was so happy to read about this. And, it made me smile that you and husband called his mother right after, that seemed perfect, like the period at the end of a sentence. You've taken a stand for Cedar. You've changed the tapestry, now the threads are your choices, not you succumbing to someone else's design. Great job Cedar! I am reading [U]When things fall apart[/U] and there is a lot to absorb about not allowing fear and hope to rule us. "Hope and fear is a feeling that has two sides, as long as there's one, there's always the other. In the world of hope and fear, we always have to change the channel, change the temperature, change the music, because something is getting uneasy, something is getting restless, something is beginning to hurt and we keep looking for alternatives. Abandoning hope is an affirmation, the beginning of the beginning. Hope and fear come from that feeling that we lack something, they come from a sense of poverty. We hold on to hope and hope robs of us our present moment. Giving up hope is encouragement to stick with yourself, to make friends with yourself, to not run away from yourself, to return to the bare bones, no matter what is going on. Fear of death is in the background of the whole thing. It's why we feel restless, why we panic, why we feel anxiety. But if we totally experience hopelessness, giving up all hope of alternatives to the present moment, we can have a joyful relationship to our lives, an honest, direct relationship, one that no longer ignores the reality of impermanence and death." It correlates to what you and COM were talking about on another thread about how when we finally let go of our difficult child's, it is the beginning. I've wrestled with this concept of hope for a long time now. I could see how in some ways it keeps me stuck. Stuck in the future, not here in the present. I can easily start that process up right now while my daughter is in jail............'this is the bottom, she will get it together now............hoping for something, for this to end.' But, I am really making every attempt to not do that, to recognize that I have no idea what is going to happen, to stay in that vulnerable place of uncertainty. I am practicing this all the time now, minute to minute, observing my mind going out to the future, gently bringing it back. As we do in meditation, but all the time. We are all doing so well with our 'beginnings' each one of us learning to live within this uncertainty, this chaos ..........and in our vulnerability, we are forging a new way to BE. I feel in awe of it and excited by it. I am reminded of something I heard that is attributed to Buddha, "the only difference between fear and excitement, is breath." We are breathing new life into ourselves. In the midst of all of it, there is still joy. [/QUOTE]
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Sad news, could use some prayers please......
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