Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Sad to say but I have to move easy child into the difficult child category...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 427512" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry that she is struggling so much. I cannot speak on adoption issues as I have no personal experience. I would want her to see a therapist experienced in these issues though. IF you do not like her therapist, find a new one. The therapist should support you as the parent and her as the child. A therapist who does not do both would NOT be seeing my child. IF that therapist tried to see my child at school or any time with-o my permission (I know of a few cases where the parent changed the therapist and the therapist was enabling the difficult child and still went to see the difficult child and "therapize" them with-o appointments or permission.) I would have them arrested for whatever (I am sure there is a law against this) and I would also file complaints with the licensing boards and have them thrown out of practice. I would also sue for alienation of affection and damages to myself and my child. There are real consequences for that - it happened years ago here in our town and to friends in another state. Not all therapists are mentally stable - the profession attracts many people with major problems of their own. </p><p> </p><p>After having a sp ed teacher drive my son into psychosis because she thought I was "too mean" by expecting him to not be violent to his famly, well, I have less than zero patience for anyone interfering with a child this way. </p><p> </p><p>I would insist on a trip to the doctor. If she does not have a female doctor, then she will likely need a female gynecologist. I took Jess at age 12 to the gyn because her periods were so awful and painful. I also made sure that they have permission to treat her there with-o my consent. I wanted her to be able to get care if she felt she couldn't talk to me. doubt it would happen that way but you never know. Your daughter needs to hear from the doctor about STDs and about pregnancy prevention. I don't know your religious beliefs, but a baby at her age would be devastating to her. I would NOT opt for daily birth control pills because all manner of things can make them not work. I would ask about the depo shot for her to protect her. You cannot really stop her if seh is determined to have sex but you can help to keep her from getting pregnant. I don't know if she can refuse treatment at a medical doctor. </p><p> </p><p>As for therapy, the age of consent differs from state to state. Soem give that right as early as twelve or fourteen, while in OK the age is 18. Before that they have to get a judge to overrule the parent and in this state that just isn't happening unless abuse can be proven. Other rights vary from state to state also. Even the right to dropout of school is as young as 14 in some states. My kids were told that I don't give a fig what the law says, until they are 18 and living on their own supporting themselves they WILL do as we say and see docs/tdocs as we decree. We are not dictators, instead I am working to teach them how to control those things. I listen to how they feel, what a medication does and doesn't do, and then include them in discussionw ith the doctor when age appropriate. But they KNOW that if they don't like my decision they will do as I say anyway. If they choose to file an abuse report for that they better be ready to leave with the social worker because they will NOT live here. OF course we do not abuse tehm, but many kids here report it anyway if they are angry at their parents. Even Wiz didn't dare try that one. </p><p> </p><p>Heck, a few states still have laws that REQUIRE a parent to use corporal punishment. It is on the books here tha parents will spank their kids as needed for discipline. even CPS must prove that a spanking left bruises or welts or they cannot remove kids. In the last couple of years the court has upheld this when CPS tried to say that all spanking was abuse - they were NOT happy when the judge and appellate court said it was not and parents had to use corp punishment if needed to control a wayward teen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 427512, member: 1233"] I am sorry that she is struggling so much. I cannot speak on adoption issues as I have no personal experience. I would want her to see a therapist experienced in these issues though. IF you do not like her therapist, find a new one. The therapist should support you as the parent and her as the child. A therapist who does not do both would NOT be seeing my child. IF that therapist tried to see my child at school or any time with-o my permission (I know of a few cases where the parent changed the therapist and the therapist was enabling the difficult child and still went to see the difficult child and "therapize" them with-o appointments or permission.) I would have them arrested for whatever (I am sure there is a law against this) and I would also file complaints with the licensing boards and have them thrown out of practice. I would also sue for alienation of affection and damages to myself and my child. There are real consequences for that - it happened years ago here in our town and to friends in another state. Not all therapists are mentally stable - the profession attracts many people with major problems of their own. After having a sp ed teacher drive my son into psychosis because she thought I was "too mean" by expecting him to not be violent to his famly, well, I have less than zero patience for anyone interfering with a child this way. I would insist on a trip to the doctor. If she does not have a female doctor, then she will likely need a female gynecologist. I took Jess at age 12 to the gyn because her periods were so awful and painful. I also made sure that they have permission to treat her there with-o my consent. I wanted her to be able to get care if she felt she couldn't talk to me. doubt it would happen that way but you never know. Your daughter needs to hear from the doctor about STDs and about pregnancy prevention. I don't know your religious beliefs, but a baby at her age would be devastating to her. I would NOT opt for daily birth control pills because all manner of things can make them not work. I would ask about the depo shot for her to protect her. You cannot really stop her if seh is determined to have sex but you can help to keep her from getting pregnant. I don't know if she can refuse treatment at a medical doctor. As for therapy, the age of consent differs from state to state. Soem give that right as early as twelve or fourteen, while in OK the age is 18. Before that they have to get a judge to overrule the parent and in this state that just isn't happening unless abuse can be proven. Other rights vary from state to state also. Even the right to dropout of school is as young as 14 in some states. My kids were told that I don't give a fig what the law says, until they are 18 and living on their own supporting themselves they WILL do as we say and see docs/tdocs as we decree. We are not dictators, instead I am working to teach them how to control those things. I listen to how they feel, what a medication does and doesn't do, and then include them in discussionw ith the doctor when age appropriate. But they KNOW that if they don't like my decision they will do as I say anyway. If they choose to file an abuse report for that they better be ready to leave with the social worker because they will NOT live here. OF course we do not abuse tehm, but many kids here report it anyway if they are angry at their parents. Even Wiz didn't dare try that one. Heck, a few states still have laws that REQUIRE a parent to use corporal punishment. It is on the books here tha parents will spank their kids as needed for discipline. even CPS must prove that a spanking left bruises or welts or they cannot remove kids. In the last couple of years the court has upheld this when CPS tried to say that all spanking was abuse - they were NOT happy when the judge and appellate court said it was not and parents had to use corp punishment if needed to control a wayward teen. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Sad to say but I have to move easy child into the difficult child category...
Top